Something New

I decided that after two years it was about time to try out a new blog template. This one is called "picture window" or something. I hope all five of you enjoy it.

I hope that my previous post didn't come off as favoring LeBron too much. Just to clarify, I don't like him at all and probably wouldn't show up to watch him if he were playing at Grandview High School. It's mainly the media that is so ridiculous - build someone up, and then when the time is right, tear them to pieces. For another example see Spears, Britney.

My Personal LBJ Take

Another day cannot pass without my take on LeBron James aka "King James". If you haven't been following this story or if you just returned from a two-month vacation to the third moon of Jupiter, here is a quick recap.

LeBron is the greatest active NBA player. Except for on the days when it is Kobe Bryant. A better way to say it is that people want him to be the greatest NBA player of all time - sort of a cross between Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan. Only better. He's not quite there yet - only 25. But the big deal is that he was in the last year of his contract with the Cleveland Cavaliers, and was set on testing the free agent market. He could go anywhere - New York, Chicago, Los Angeles. And pretty much anywhere would be happy to have him. And pay him. Lots and lots of money.

Anyways, the media has been talking this to death for weeks. It was practically a bigger story than the NBA playoffs, while they were still going on. Where was LeBron going to go? And then it got worse after the playoffs ended. Radio, TV, print - no one could ask the question enough times or come up with enough answers and theories on what was going to happen.

Finally, LeBron said that he was going to announce his decision via a one-hour special on ESPN and donate the advertising proceeds to the Boys and Girls Club. This escalated the nonstop LeBron coverage. I think ESPN had two hours of preview coverage for the one-hour special. I did not watch it on TV but listened to some of it in the car. The special itself was more asking the golden question. Where is LeBron going to go?

Finally, he announced that he was "taking his talents to South Beach" to play for the Miami Heat.

Since then, everyone (meaning the media) has been in an outrage about LeBron. "I can't believe he would go on national TV and break Cleveland's heart. . . LeBron is such a narcissist. . . LeBron got some terrible PR advice. . . what was he thinking, having an hour long special. . . This is because LeBron doesn't have a strong father figure. . . this is the end of professional sports as we know it. . . why did he have to announce it this way. . ."

And yet, I don't remember anyone in the media whining about the TV special beforehand. Of course not, because they practically asked for it! It seemed to be the only fitting end for weeks of breathless coverage - just like the only fitting end for months of speculation about the NCAA tournament is a one-hour special where they reveal the brackets. Just like the only fitting end for months of speculation about the NFL draft is to top it off with a few dozen hours of live coverage where NFL teams reveal who they picked!

Don't mistake me for a LeBron fan. In fact, don't mistake me for a basketball fan. I can barely stand to watch the sport anymore. I watched maybe three hours of NBA action during the 2009-2010 season. And so if you can choose pretty much anywhere in the US to work, and sucker ESPN into donating millions to a charity of your choice in the process, why wouldn't you?

And if it was so uncool to do the one-hour special where he "stabbed Cleveland in the back", then why didn't somebody at ESPN pull him aside and say, "Yo, LeBron, this isn't cool. We don't want to be a part of this, and you're getting some bad PR advice."

But they didn't do that. Probably because then the special would have been on another sucker cable network.

Still, being a sports fan, I can understand that people can get upset. People love to be upset. And the sports media love to stir the pot, because more upset people mean they are buying more papers, listening to more talk shows, and lighting up more websites.

But you guys wanted this! You know you did! You know you wanted it to be a live one-hour special broadcast around the world! Because he's King James! You created him!

And no controversy about a black person is complete without Jesse Jackson weighing in. . . he accused the Cavaliers owner of having a slave owner mentality. Sigh. Really, Jesse? You know you are basically a caricature of yourself at this point, right?

But I'm not getting in to that today. . .

What's the Big Deal? #2

So I started this "series" a while back and I had a couple of ideas but I haven't exactly followed through by writing about them.

This one is sports-related, from a couple of months ago. So you've probably all heard of Ken Griffey, Jr., one of the greatest baseball players of our time. So anyways, he went back to Seattle to finish his career with the Mariners, the team he started with over 20 years ago.

So the Mariners lost a tight game earlier this year and the manager was asked why Griffey hadn't been available to pinch-hit, and I think the manager sort of dodged the question. Anyways, a story later came out saying that Griffey had gone back to the clubhouse to get a jacket in the middle of game and never came back. And so a couple of players had gone back and found him asleep in a chair in front of his locker. And so that's why he wasn't available to pinch-hit.

And then the whole thing blew up all over the place. Everyone vehemently denied that Griffey had been sleeping during the game. One of the Mariners wanted a piece of whoever had been the team "source" on the story. And the whole team refused to speak with anyone from the Tacoma News-Tribune, which I believe had published or somehow facilitated the story.

I actually thought it was hilarious that "Nap-Gate" caused such an uproar. Let's think about this for a second. First of all, it's baseball. It's not like they were fighting in Iraq or something. Second of all, it's Ken Griffey Jr. If you have over 600 career home runs, you should probably be able to walk around the dugout with no pants on without anyone batting an eye. If he was just a rookie - then there might be a controversy. Finally, he's 40 years old! Some of those games last well past 10 PM - that's late for an old guy.

But anyways, for some reason there were some serious debates going on in the media about this whole episode. I think it's mainly a product of the 24/7 media. If this happened in 1990, I kind of doubt anyone outside of King County ever hears about it.

I guess Junior took the hint, because he has retired from baseball since the controversy.

Things That Bug Lately

1. That everyone is disappointed about the USA losing to Ghana and thus not making it to the quarterfinals or the semifinals of the World Cup, and that everyone has to now try and figure out why the USA is not the world's best at soccer. Guess what? They did fine. Did you really think they were going to make it all the way to the end? Let the other nations of the world have some fun.

2. That I've heard several journalist types refer to soccer as a "beautiful game." I'm not exactly sure why it bugs me. I guess things about the game could be beautiful, such as "that was a beautiful kick" or "what a beautiful stadium" - but really - is any game beautiful? They can be fun or hard or entertaining or competitive or challenging - but beautiful? I don't know about that.

3. I want to start making a list of words that bug me. Only I can't possibly think of them all right now. One is the word "vet", when it is used in the context of "checking somebody or something out" - for example, Mr. So and So Political Candidate is going through the vetting process. I don't know, vet/vetted/vetting is just like nails on a chalkboard to me. Hate it. The only thing that should be vetted is your sick cat or your lame horse.

4. Some cutesie made up words and phrases also bug me. Being a CPA, I get lots of emails about continuing education opportunities. The word "webinar" - if it can be called a word - makes me want to punch whoever thought of it in the mouth. Also, the phrase "Lunch and Learn." Despise it. Don't you dare suggest that I use my lunch for learning. Because I'm using it to write this post instead.

Sonic Happy Hour

I spent all day outside yesterday during our 99 degree scorcher yesterday. That's according to the temp at DIA - however, the van was saying it was as high as 102 on our way home. The solution for my hot day was exactly as it has been on so many other hot days in recent memory - a trip to the local Sonic.

If you didn't already know, every day between 2 and 4 is Happy Hour at Sonic. All drinks and slushes are 1/2 price. So, for instance, if you purchase a Route 44 size Cherry Limeade - which is basically Sonic's Super Size - the regular price is $2.19, but if you show up during happy hour that big boy is yours for just $1.10. And if the 44 ouncer is just too much for you, you can go with a smaller size and your drink will probably be less than a buck.

The limeades are really good - my preference is Cherry, while the wife prefers the Cranberry. Icy, syrupy, delight with a couple of real lime wedges found at the bottom of your foam cup. It pretty much makes a hot sweaty day worth it.

Favorite Shows of Yesteryear #1

I've been trying to think of ways to get back into writing here. And this is what I came up with. I'll start with an easy one - ALF. You know, the one about the alien from the planet Melmac who crash-lands into a family's garage, they take him in, and hilarity ensues?

I haven't seen an episode of ALF in a long, long time. I don't really remember that many episodes - which you must be so thankful for. I mainly remember being in sixth grade and getting together with my friend Freddie the day after a new ALF aired to review the most hilarious sequences.

I do still have one episode taped on VHS cassette. Thankfully, it is the quintessential episode of ALF. It's the one where ALF is going to soak in the hot tub, only the Tanners didn't have a hot tub, so he has to rig one up, and gives himself an electro-shock. He was reading a life insurance brochure in the tub, so a delusional ALF thinks he is not an alien, but an insurance salesman - specifically Wayne Schlagel of Michigan Life & Casualty. And the Tanners spend the two-part episode trying to cure ALF of his amnesia, so we are treated to a nice helping of flashbacks from previous episodes - for example, when ALF tried to hypnotize Lucky, the family cat, into believing that he is a bagel. Or when ALF did his best "Tom Cruise in Risky Business" impersonation. And all this is intertwined with ALF believing that he is the victim of a bad sales call and is being held hostage. Is it any wonder this was my favorite show when I was 12?

I was so affected by that episode that I made it my seventh-grade Halloween costume. It's really the only costume concept that I've come up with that I've ever been satisfied with. I wore a blazer and carried around a briefcase and printed up some business cards indicating that I was Wayne Schlagel of Micigan Life & Casualty.

ALF was fairly popular back in the day, but virtually none of the Tanner family - Willie, Kate, Lynne, or Brian, were ever seen on television again. However, ALF is still seen from time to time on commercials and stuff.

What's the Big Deal #1

Today I am starting a series of posts called, "What's the Big Deal?" Because lately it seems that people have been getting ants in their pants over trivial things.

For example, I recently read an article in The Denver Post. Apparently, in Colorado you are allowed to sell shares in your dairy farm whereby you can then distribute fresh raw cow milk to the shareholders.

But there are some people who want to shut down these farms. People might get sick. We're so worried that someone will be harmed by this non-pasteurized milk. So we better shut these farms down. Right now.

I'm sure that anyone who has laid down money to buy shares in one of these farms has taken the the time to properly weigh the risks of drinking raw milk with whatever they perceive to be the nutritional benefits. I'll acknowledge that most people probably should not drink raw milk. But do they really think there is going to be some sort of RAW MILK REVOLUTION? I kind of doubt it. Most people are worried about cost and convenience when trying to fulfill their dairy needs, neither of which is really offered by raw milk.

I'd be willing to bet that what the commercial dairy industry is mostly worried about is how it could potentially affect their bank account.

So I say let them drink and drink and drink until they are sick - not from bacteria, but because they are so full of its rich, fatty goodness.

It's kind of like with cigarettes. It's not like any smoker in our day and age suddenly realizes, "Hey, I had no idea that there are potential health consequences of sucking down this burning tobacco!" (I realize some may say they didn't know, but come on. You're really pinning your lung cancer on a cartoon camel?)

As for me, I don't really have a dog (cow?) in the fight. I drank raw milk once. I didn't get sick. But I'm happy with my milk from the grocery.

Should raw milk be sold at the Safeways? Nope. Should raw milk be served at the school cafeteria? Absolutely not. But if people want to drink non-pasteurized milk in the privacy of their own homes, I think that is perfectly okay.