I'm sure you're thinking - yeah all this sewer and accounting and band stuff is great, but can you please just get back to the football?
The NFL draft starts tonight. "Starts" is the key word - we can't get this done in one day or even two. It's now a three-day event.
The Denver Broncos have the #2 overall pick - their highest selection in a draft during my lifetime. Who are they going to pick? Well, it really depends on who you ask. It kind of sounds like it is narrowed down to four players: DT Marcell Dareus of Alabama, DT Nick Fairley of Auburn, CB Patrick Peterson of LSU, or LB Von Miller of Texas A&M. They're all defensive players, which is good. If the Broncos spent all of their picks in the 2011 draft on defensive players, I don't think it would be overkill.
I guess the way I feel about how the Broncos should approach this #2 pick is this - whoever you think has the best chance to be an All-Pro-type player for you for the next 10 years, pick that guy. Don't mess around with figuring out where you most need help or taking gambles. After pretty much blowing a decade's worth of drafts, the Broncos cannot afford to blow the highest draft choice they've had in the Super Bowl era.
Unfortunately, it may not be that simple. If the Broncos followed my logic, their choice would probably be Patrick Peterson. The problems are that cornerbacks never get picked that high, and the Broncos already have Champ Bailey. So what good does it do to have two Pro Bowl cornerbacks when you don't have a defensive line?
A lot of people like Von Miller as the Broncos #2 pick. And there's a lot to like - he led the nation with 17 sacks in 2009 and had 10.5 more in 2010. If there is one think the Broncos have struggled with for years, it's getting pressure on the quarterback. The problem is that he played defensive end his junior year, and then converted to a 3-4 outside linebacker his senior year. With the Broncos, he would be playing 4-3 outside linebacker. Traditionally, the Broncos haven't had much luck with this type of hybrid DE/LB type. See Ayers, Robert and Moss, Jarvis. So even though he is compared to former Kansas City Chief and Hall of Famer Derrick Thomas as a pass rusher, there's just no way to know for sure.
Marcell Dareus seems to be the consensus pick among national pundits. And if he's available at #2, the Broncos should probably take him. Not because he may end up being the best in the long run, but because he's what the Broncos most "need" right now and is probably the lowest risk.
Who do the Broncos most want to pick? None of the above, most likely. I'm sure they would love to to trade the pick for multiple lower picks. I don't necessarily agree. One of the reasons they have plateaued in recent history is because they were never quite bad enough to get into the top 10 or top 5 of the draft and pick up a real difference maker. Instead, they were left to take chances on dudes like Willie Middlebrooks and Jarvis Moss.
What complicates the whole matter is that no one really seems to know what the Carolina Panthers will do with the number #1 overall pick. Some of the local talk guys are thinking the Panthers will take Dareus rather than an offensive player. So that could mess up the Broncos' plans for tonight.
We'll see what happens. Keep in mind I don't actually know anything and I'm just regurgitating what I hear and read. I haven't actually seen any of these guys play because I don't believe in college football.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
"When it Rains it Pours" or "Can One Really Get Ahead in Life?"
It's not likely that a person would ever get through life without a financial setback.
But do they really need to happen every other year?
We bought our house three and a half years ago. It wasn't much to look at then, and still isn't, by the way. But there was the hope that we could make it nice with our limited resources.
We've been doing stuff gradually - paint a room here, new garage door opener there, clearing out unsightly bushes and landscaping, etc. The only truly major splurge we did was to get new windows because the old aluminum ones were broken and terrible. Less than six months after those were installed, my already pregnant wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. And so we went through our medical period - childbirth (complete with time in the NICU), surgery for the wife, followed by some brief radiation treatment. Oh, and also some surgery for our newly born son. Medical insurance is great, but it doesn't cover everything, and it was a long time before all those bills and our new windows were paid off - but they did get paid off.
This year was the first year since we moved to Colorado that I didn't have to immediately take our entire tax refund and use it to pay off some other debt that we owed. It was kind of nice to have a little cushion in the bank. During my long working days of the winter and early spring, it was fun to daydream about things we might be able to do with the extra cash. I'm not talking going to Disneyland or anything - maybe just some modest upgrades in our furniture situation or maybe some fun summer activities for the family here in Colorado.
I've always been kind of uneasy about the plumbing in this house. While it worked, there were some things that happened (including smells) that didn't seem quite right. But if it's not broke, don't fix it, right? About three weeks ago, we woke up to water on the floor of the laundry room. At first we thought it was coming from the washer or the water heater or something, before finally figuring out that it was coming up through the drain hole. We did everything we could think of to fix it, but only made it worse. Finally, we gave up and resolved to call the plumber first thing Monday morning.
The problem was tree roots growing into our plumbing out in the front yard, and there were problems all the way out to the main sewer line in the street. To make a long story short, they gave us the option of the temporary fix with assurances that the roots would continue growing into the crappy (pun intended) 1970s era plumbing technology, or we could update all the plumbing and be assured that we would have happy flushing and showering until our kids reach adulthood.
The cost was substantial - we're talking five figures. The major "con" of not doing it was that the potential future repair costs would only go up if we let the shoddy plumbing in the yard and street continue to deteriorate. We didn't know what to do - we don't exactly have our emergency fund that stocked - so it would mean debt and payments once again. On the other hand, who wants to live a life of sewage backing up into the house?
We went ahead with the plumbing work. There's something to be said for indoor plumbing, but it's not like you end up with something that you can show for it - as in, check out our remodeled kitchen or awesome backyard deck/patio! Maybe we're spoiled. I guess if outhouses were still commonplace, our plumbing would be super cool.
The same week our oldest son went to the orthodonist. One major triumph of 2011 has been getting his braces paid off. Only now the orthodonist is recommending more treatment - at more than twice the cost of what we just paid off. We haven't decided about the teeth just yet. Oh, and did I mention that we are expecting a baby next month? Who knows the extent of financial obligations that will be incurred during that visit?
So any and all plans we had or were going to have for the next year or two or three all went down the drain in about a week's time. At least they stayed down.
I can only describe my feelings as discouraged. We try to live by sound financial principles. I track all the money that comes in and goes out and review it monthly. We pay full tithing plus generous fast offerings. I participate in the deferred salary program at work. If we do eat out, it's something affordable like $5 Little Caesers Pizza or Subway. We're still using the same 19-inch TV we bought 10 years ago. We have new iPods but we got them free for opening bank accounts. We don't buy stuff unless we know we have a way to pay for it. Oops, except we just did.
I don't mean to sound whiney. I know everyone has challenges and some are harder than others. I'm grateful to have a job that gets us most of the way there on the monthly budget. I guess I'm just expressing my frustration about the one-step-forward-two-steps-back way that things have been going the past few years.
But do they really need to happen every other year?
We bought our house three and a half years ago. It wasn't much to look at then, and still isn't, by the way. But there was the hope that we could make it nice with our limited resources.
We've been doing stuff gradually - paint a room here, new garage door opener there, clearing out unsightly bushes and landscaping, etc. The only truly major splurge we did was to get new windows because the old aluminum ones were broken and terrible. Less than six months after those were installed, my already pregnant wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. And so we went through our medical period - childbirth (complete with time in the NICU), surgery for the wife, followed by some brief radiation treatment. Oh, and also some surgery for our newly born son. Medical insurance is great, but it doesn't cover everything, and it was a long time before all those bills and our new windows were paid off - but they did get paid off.
This year was the first year since we moved to Colorado that I didn't have to immediately take our entire tax refund and use it to pay off some other debt that we owed. It was kind of nice to have a little cushion in the bank. During my long working days of the winter and early spring, it was fun to daydream about things we might be able to do with the extra cash. I'm not talking going to Disneyland or anything - maybe just some modest upgrades in our furniture situation or maybe some fun summer activities for the family here in Colorado.
I've always been kind of uneasy about the plumbing in this house. While it worked, there were some things that happened (including smells) that didn't seem quite right. But if it's not broke, don't fix it, right? About three weeks ago, we woke up to water on the floor of the laundry room. At first we thought it was coming from the washer or the water heater or something, before finally figuring out that it was coming up through the drain hole. We did everything we could think of to fix it, but only made it worse. Finally, we gave up and resolved to call the plumber first thing Monday morning.
The problem was tree roots growing into our plumbing out in the front yard, and there were problems all the way out to the main sewer line in the street. To make a long story short, they gave us the option of the temporary fix with assurances that the roots would continue growing into the crappy (pun intended) 1970s era plumbing technology, or we could update all the plumbing and be assured that we would have happy flushing and showering until our kids reach adulthood.
The cost was substantial - we're talking five figures. The major "con" of not doing it was that the potential future repair costs would only go up if we let the shoddy plumbing in the yard and street continue to deteriorate. We didn't know what to do - we don't exactly have our emergency fund that stocked - so it would mean debt and payments once again. On the other hand, who wants to live a life of sewage backing up into the house?
We went ahead with the plumbing work. There's something to be said for indoor plumbing, but it's not like you end up with something that you can show for it - as in, check out our remodeled kitchen or awesome backyard deck/patio! Maybe we're spoiled. I guess if outhouses were still commonplace, our plumbing would be super cool.
The same week our oldest son went to the orthodonist. One major triumph of 2011 has been getting his braces paid off. Only now the orthodonist is recommending more treatment - at more than twice the cost of what we just paid off. We haven't decided about the teeth just yet. Oh, and did I mention that we are expecting a baby next month? Who knows the extent of financial obligations that will be incurred during that visit?
So any and all plans we had or were going to have for the next year or two or three all went down the drain in about a week's time. At least they stayed down.
I can only describe my feelings as discouraged. We try to live by sound financial principles. I track all the money that comes in and goes out and review it monthly. We pay full tithing plus generous fast offerings. I participate in the deferred salary program at work. If we do eat out, it's something affordable like $5 Little Caesers Pizza or Subway. We're still using the same 19-inch TV we bought 10 years ago. We have new iPods but we got them free for opening bank accounts. We don't buy stuff unless we know we have a way to pay for it. Oops, except we just did.
I don't mean to sound whiney. I know everyone has challenges and some are harder than others. I'm grateful to have a job that gets us most of the way there on the monthly budget. I guess I'm just expressing my frustration about the one-step-forward-two-steps-back way that things have been going the past few years.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
We're Nowhere Near the End
Because we still have to wait another two weeks for season 2 of Growing Pains to be released, I decided that now would be a good time to rewatch the season 1 DVDs so that we can be prepared for the season 2 release.
A good reason to release multiple seasons of ANY show on DVD is that the first season usually isn't the best of the lot. The first four episodes of GP are a little rough. You can tell that the actors haven't totally figured out their characters and the cast hasn't fully meshed just yet. At times I was wondering if Growing Pains was Joanna Kerns' first professional acting job.
A few observations from the first disc of season 1:
I didn't know huge oversized clothing was so fashionable for women in 1985. Because Maggie and Carol could wear bedsheets in some of those episodes and they would have been more form-fitting than some of the outfits they had on.
A bit of false doctrine was refuted in episode 4. A few websites, Wikipedia and their ilk, proclaim that Ben Seaver's full name is Benjamin Hubert Horatio Humphrey Seaver. They think it's that because of an episode in a later season when Jason is angry and calls him by that moniker. I knew it was not correct, because who has three middle names like that, but I didn't have a reference. Now I do, as it is clearly stated in this episode that his middle name is just Humphrey. Still not a very good middle name, but at least correct.
The scene stealer in these early episodes is Mr. Simmons, the journalism teacher, who finds fault with Carol's overdescriptive reporting. "I forgot who I was talking to. Your writing is replete with stinkiosity." Great job by that guy.
One of the early guest stars of the series is the late Dana Plato, of Diff'rent Strokes fame. She plays a Madonnaphile who wants to "not watch TV" with Mike while his parents are out. I went online to figure out what their respective ages were when the episode was filmed. She would have been about 21, and Kirk Cameron about 15. Yeah, okay. So that kissing must have been awkward, for one or both of them. It may have even scarred Kirk for life, because he now apparently will only kiss his wife on-screen. Anyways, watching that episode made me want to look into Diff'rent Strokes on DVD.
Added to the long list of tv/movie ideas which couldn't be reused in 2010 is episode 7 - Weekend Fantasy, where Jason and Maggie hurry back from a weekend getaway to Vermont because the kids aren't answering the phone back at home at 10 PM. (SPOILER ALERT - they were down at a neighbors having a bundt and watching vacation slides) In 2010, at least Mike and Carol and maybe even Ben have cell phones, so that episode is over in like seven and a half minutes.
A good reason to release multiple seasons of ANY show on DVD is that the first season usually isn't the best of the lot. The first four episodes of GP are a little rough. You can tell that the actors haven't totally figured out their characters and the cast hasn't fully meshed just yet. At times I was wondering if Growing Pains was Joanna Kerns' first professional acting job.
A few observations from the first disc of season 1:
I didn't know huge oversized clothing was so fashionable for women in 1985. Because Maggie and Carol could wear bedsheets in some of those episodes and they would have been more form-fitting than some of the outfits they had on.
A bit of false doctrine was refuted in episode 4. A few websites, Wikipedia and their ilk, proclaim that Ben Seaver's full name is Benjamin Hubert Horatio Humphrey Seaver. They think it's that because of an episode in a later season when Jason is angry and calls him by that moniker. I knew it was not correct, because who has three middle names like that, but I didn't have a reference. Now I do, as it is clearly stated in this episode that his middle name is just Humphrey. Still not a very good middle name, but at least correct.
The scene stealer in these early episodes is Mr. Simmons, the journalism teacher, who finds fault with Carol's overdescriptive reporting. "I forgot who I was talking to. Your writing is replete with stinkiosity." Great job by that guy.
One of the early guest stars of the series is the late Dana Plato, of Diff'rent Strokes fame. She plays a Madonnaphile who wants to "not watch TV" with Mike while his parents are out. I went online to figure out what their respective ages were when the episode was filmed. She would have been about 21, and Kirk Cameron about 15. Yeah, okay. So that kissing must have been awkward, for one or both of them. It may have even scarred Kirk for life, because he now apparently will only kiss his wife on-screen. Anyways, watching that episode made me want to look into Diff'rent Strokes on DVD.
Added to the long list of tv/movie ideas which couldn't be reused in 2010 is episode 7 - Weekend Fantasy, where Jason and Maggie hurry back from a weekend getaway to Vermont because the kids aren't answering the phone back at home at 10 PM. (SPOILER ALERT - they were down at a neighbors having a bundt and watching vacation slides) In 2010, at least Mike and Carol and maybe even Ben have cell phones, so that episode is over in like seven and a half minutes.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Stick With What You Know
Just FYI, if you undertake some home improvements which qualify for the Federal Residential Engery Tax Credit, take what tax advice the contractor gives you with a grain of salt - because they may very well be wrong.
I've run across two instances where the contractor as been incorrect. One was for me personally. The contractor gave us a form when we did our insulation last summer saying that we could take X amount as a credit on our return. When I was doing our tax return, I looked up the acutal IRS instructions (cuz that's how I roll), and discovered that what we were entitled to was actually slightly less.
And then I'm just doing a client's return. They had some windows installed and were given a glossy brochure from Home Depot describing the tax credit. On the brochure, it stated that the credit allows only for the cost of the material and not for the cost of installation.
Nope. Per the instructions for Form 5695, under the heading Residential Engery Property Costs: "Include any labor costs properly allocable to the onsite preparation, assembly, or original installation of the energy property."
So there you have it. Also, don't have a car dealer do your taxes.
I've run across two instances where the contractor as been incorrect. One was for me personally. The contractor gave us a form when we did our insulation last summer saying that we could take X amount as a credit on our return. When I was doing our tax return, I looked up the acutal IRS instructions (cuz that's how I roll), and discovered that what we were entitled to was actually slightly less.
And then I'm just doing a client's return. They had some windows installed and were given a glossy brochure from Home Depot describing the tax credit. On the brochure, it stated that the credit allows only for the cost of the material and not for the cost of installation.
Nope. Per the instructions for Form 5695, under the heading Residential Engery Property Costs: "Include any labor costs properly allocable to the onsite preparation, assembly, or original installation of the energy property."
So there you have it. Also, don't have a car dealer do your taxes.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Depreciation Kills
My annual huge busy-season project is almost complete: a 900-page, 40-state tax return. It's actually not too bad thanks to the wonders of tax software. I have no idea how they did stuff like this before computers. I personally have no desire to learn the intricacies of taxation in Georgia or New Jersey. Usually, I just have to trust that the tax program knows what it is doing and I only have to go through and work out the kinks.
What makes this process painful is depreciation. Federal tax depreciation, at its core, is pretty easy if you enjoy working with tables - the IRS has a prescribed depreciation system, MACRS (Modified Accelerated Cost Recovery System), which everyone must follow. It tells you how long you can depreciate property based on its type and use, and what percentage you can take each year. It is a little bit of a pain to maintain two sets of schedules - a GAAP set for your regular books, as well as the MACRS set - but pretty manageable, especially with computer software.
But there are the wrinkles, such as the Section 179 deduction, which allows businesses an immediate depreciation deduction in the year of purchase. Back when I wsa first getting into tax preparation, the total allowed was $25,000 per year. And the deduction became phased out for businesses that exceeded $100,000 of capital investment for the year, so it was pretty much geared towards small businesses.
What makes my life interesting is when Congress started fooling around with mega-accelerated depreciation in the early part of last decade.
And I guess we have the terrorists to thank for what happened next. The government invented a little jewel known as 30% bonus depreciation. This allowed businesses to take an immediate 30% depreciation deduction in the year of purchase, for new (not used) equipment purchases, in hopes of stimulating the post-9/11 economy.
A couple of years later, the 30% became 50%. And the Section 179 deduction was increased to $100,000, and the maximum investment to $400,000. Suddenly the tax depreciation schedules weren't quite as tidy.
Especially considering that a few of the states were not feeling quite so generous as the federal government and opted not to adopt these new provisions of the Internal Revenue Code. At the time, this didn't really affect me at all, because I had not yet been exposed to the wonderful world of multi-state tax returns.
Bonus depreciation went away after 2004, and Section 179 saw only modest increases from $100,000 to $102,000 to $105,000 to $108,000 to $125,000.
And then the economy took another nosedive. Once again, Congress turned to the tax system in hopes of stimulating capital expenditures. For 2008, 50% bonus depreciation was re instituted, and Section 179 was doubled to $250,000, with a maximum capital investment of $800,000.
A few more states, notably Alabama and Arkansas, decided they could not stomach the bite out of their tax revenue and "decoupled" from federal tax depreciation.
And now it did affect me, because 2008 was the first year I prepared this company's tax return.
Last fall, they jacked it up again. Section 179 again doubled again to $500,000, with the investment limit soaring to an obscene $2 million. And get this. . . they instituted 100% bonus depreciation for new assets purchased after September 2010, which is akin to saying "Screw it. Let's just let 'em expense everything."
I mentioned before that having two sets of schedules was manageable. Well, if you have a company that does business throughout the United States, suddenly the number of sets you need to maintain grows to 25 or 30, because very few of the states are some. Some of them decoupled immediately, some decoupled in 2008, some in 2010. Some allow Section 179 but no bonus. Some have set their own amount of Section 179 that they allow. Some didn't allow it the first time around, but now they do. Some don't really say either way.
You would think there would be a good resource out there to tell you what each state allows. Nope. After many searches, I found one website that does a decent job state-by-state on bonus depreciation, but there is nothing similar for Section 179. Our own depreciation software will throw up some add-back schedules for bonus depreciation that I don't trust at all. They, too, are more focused on the bonus than 179 and I think some of their information is incorrect. I would be curious to see how well our tax software would do at calculating the adjustments, but that is a ton of data entry and that ship already sailed two years ago. So I'm left with a myriad of Excel spreadsheets, calculating my adjustments which may or may not be correct.
In conclusion, I salute the following states for their conformity to the federal provisions: Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Nebraska, West Virginia, Missouri, I love you all!
I mile-high salute Washington, Wyoming, Nevada, and South Dakota for not imposing an income tax on corporations.
I do not salute Ohio and Minnesota, but I respect them for easy-to-follow add-back methods which don't require a separate depreciation schedule.
I grudgingly respect California and those states which got off board immediately and have stuck with it ever since - at least we know where you stand.
I can not, and will not, respect states who don't really seem to know what they want you to do or how they want you to do it. Cough. North. Cough. Carolina.
I disrespect states such as Pennsylvania and some of its Northeasterly brethren, whose attitude seems to be "We know this is complex and hard to understand. That's why we will do everything we can to make it even more so."
Amen.
What makes this process painful is depreciation. Federal tax depreciation, at its core, is pretty easy if you enjoy working with tables - the IRS has a prescribed depreciation system, MACRS (Modified Accelerated Cost Recovery System), which everyone must follow. It tells you how long you can depreciate property based on its type and use, and what percentage you can take each year. It is a little bit of a pain to maintain two sets of schedules - a GAAP set for your regular books, as well as the MACRS set - but pretty manageable, especially with computer software.
But there are the wrinkles, such as the Section 179 deduction, which allows businesses an immediate depreciation deduction in the year of purchase. Back when I wsa first getting into tax preparation, the total allowed was $25,000 per year. And the deduction became phased out for businesses that exceeded $100,000 of capital investment for the year, so it was pretty much geared towards small businesses.
What makes my life interesting is when Congress started fooling around with mega-accelerated depreciation in the early part of last decade.
And I guess we have the terrorists to thank for what happened next. The government invented a little jewel known as 30% bonus depreciation. This allowed businesses to take an immediate 30% depreciation deduction in the year of purchase, for new (not used) equipment purchases, in hopes of stimulating the post-9/11 economy.
A couple of years later, the 30% became 50%. And the Section 179 deduction was increased to $100,000, and the maximum investment to $400,000. Suddenly the tax depreciation schedules weren't quite as tidy.
Especially considering that a few of the states were not feeling quite so generous as the federal government and opted not to adopt these new provisions of the Internal Revenue Code. At the time, this didn't really affect me at all, because I had not yet been exposed to the wonderful world of multi-state tax returns.
Bonus depreciation went away after 2004, and Section 179 saw only modest increases from $100,000 to $102,000 to $105,000 to $108,000 to $125,000.
And then the economy took another nosedive. Once again, Congress turned to the tax system in hopes of stimulating capital expenditures. For 2008, 50% bonus depreciation was re instituted, and Section 179 was doubled to $250,000, with a maximum capital investment of $800,000.
A few more states, notably Alabama and Arkansas, decided they could not stomach the bite out of their tax revenue and "decoupled" from federal tax depreciation.
And now it did affect me, because 2008 was the first year I prepared this company's tax return.
Last fall, they jacked it up again. Section 179 again doubled again to $500,000, with the investment limit soaring to an obscene $2 million. And get this. . . they instituted 100% bonus depreciation for new assets purchased after September 2010, which is akin to saying "Screw it. Let's just let 'em expense everything."
I mentioned before that having two sets of schedules was manageable. Well, if you have a company that does business throughout the United States, suddenly the number of sets you need to maintain grows to 25 or 30, because very few of the states are some. Some of them decoupled immediately, some decoupled in 2008, some in 2010. Some allow Section 179 but no bonus. Some have set their own amount of Section 179 that they allow. Some didn't allow it the first time around, but now they do. Some don't really say either way.
You would think there would be a good resource out there to tell you what each state allows. Nope. After many searches, I found one website that does a decent job state-by-state on bonus depreciation, but there is nothing similar for Section 179. Our own depreciation software will throw up some add-back schedules for bonus depreciation that I don't trust at all. They, too, are more focused on the bonus than 179 and I think some of their information is incorrect. I would be curious to see how well our tax software would do at calculating the adjustments, but that is a ton of data entry and that ship already sailed two years ago. So I'm left with a myriad of Excel spreadsheets, calculating my adjustments which may or may not be correct.
In conclusion, I salute the following states for their conformity to the federal provisions: Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Nebraska, West Virginia, Missouri, I love you all!
I mile-high salute Washington, Wyoming, Nevada, and South Dakota for not imposing an income tax on corporations.
I do not salute Ohio and Minnesota, but I respect them for easy-to-follow add-back methods which don't require a separate depreciation schedule.
I grudgingly respect California and those states which got off board immediately and have stuck with it ever since - at least we know where you stand.
I can not, and will not, respect states who don't really seem to know what they want you to do or how they want you to do it. Cough. North. Cough. Carolina.
I disrespect states such as Pennsylvania and some of its Northeasterly brethren, whose attitude seems to be "We know this is complex and hard to understand. That's why we will do everything we can to make it even more so."
Amen.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Show Me That Smile Again
Hey, thanks, Warner Bros. It's about dang time you got this out on the market.
FIVE YEARS after the first season was released on DVD, the second season will finally be released on April 26, 2011. At this rate, we will have all seven seasons of Growing Pains on DVD in the spring of 2036, when DVDs will be obsolete and I will be planning my retirement.
I have a lot of these episodes taped off Denver's 2 and Albuquerque's 14 from back in 1991, but I would rather have them on DVD .
Season 2 introduces the name of Boner Stabone's father in episode 12 - Sylvester. Wait for it. . .
It also features perhaps the best episode title of the series - Jimmy Durante Died for Your Sins. Never made sense until I looked up who Jimmy Durante was.
And there are many episodes that I haven't seen for many years. I'm pretty excited. They don't make shows like this anymore.
FIVE YEARS after the first season was released on DVD, the second season will finally be released on April 26, 2011. At this rate, we will have all seven seasons of Growing Pains on DVD in the spring of 2036, when DVDs will be obsolete and I will be planning my retirement.
I have a lot of these episodes taped off Denver's 2 and Albuquerque's 14 from back in 1991, but I would rather have them on DVD .
Season 2 introduces the name of Boner Stabone's father in episode 12 - Sylvester. Wait for it. . .
It also features perhaps the best episode title of the series - Jimmy Durante Died for Your Sins. Never made sense until I looked up who Jimmy Durante was.
And there are many episodes that I haven't seen for many years. I'm pretty excited. They don't make shows like this anymore.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Reflections on Band Pt.II
In later years, one of the things that became commonplace amongst my band peers was to drop out of band for a semester, for a break or to take something else instead. They'd usually come back, but only after missing a semester's worth of activities. Not me. I don't remember ever even considering it.
Not only that, I was also a full participant in choir. We didn't technically have a separate choir class until I think my last year, when they broke up the band hour into a M W F Band section and a T T Choir section. It didn't really matter to me, I was pretty much in on everything music-related at CHS.
As a band student, you do surrender a few opportunites explore other interests or talents. Between junior high and high school, band took a period of my class schedule every day for six years.
On one hand, I look back at what I missed out on in junior high, and it wasn't that much. Most of the electives I did take were stinkers anyways - Fly Tying, Science Fiction Reading, Drawing. My non-band friends were taking stuff like that and then filling in the extra spaces with study hall sessions. So it was probably just as well that I was in band.
But on the other hand, I look back at high school and see some stuff I might have missed out on. I could have taken another semester of accounting or another business or computer class that would have served me well in college. I could have taken journalism and perhaps the yearbook my class produced would have turned out a little better. I could have put a little more time into FBLA. These were all things that I would have enjoyed and probably would have done more for me later in life than band did. But there just wasn't room in the schedule.
And now I think back and wonder - why? Why did I do it?
I think I stayed in band all those years because I needed a thing. Everybody needs a thing in high school. I wasn't good enough at either cross country or track for either of those to be my thing. FBLA could have been my thing, but I didn't join until 11th grade and even then didn't really ever put in the time to be any good in the competitions. So I was left with music as my thing, so of course I wasn't going to quit or take a break. It's good to feel like you're an integral part of something - even though I was probably just as replaceable as anyone else. All it takes to convert a trumpet into a baritone is to find someone willing to do it and give him a horn. The learning curve is pretty minimal.
So did I get anything out of it, other than a self-esteem boost?
There was a self-esteem boost - I made the IML Honor Band twice, and the Western State All-Colorado Honor Band once. I strung together a few good scores at Solo & Ensemble at ASC. During the last semester of my senior year, I switched over to the tuba and became just as accomplished with that as I did with the other things I did during that semester - track (too lazy to go out) and the AP Calculus exam (failed it). But it did make me feel versatile.
Being a band senior at the last concert turned out to be sort of anticlimactic. I think I did get special mention at that last concert for my years of continuous participation - along with a bunch of other seniors. But there was no standing ovation from the audience and no middle schoolers asked for my autograph. So that wasn't the payoff.
I didn't study music or pursue a career in music and I haven't picked up a baritone in 17 years. I don't think anyone ever looked at a college application or a resume of mine and thought - "That's the clincher, right there. Look at all that band that guy did."
It's possible that it made me a better pianist, which is a skill I still use from time to time. And I suppose it was good practice for getting up in front of people and doing stuff.
I guess in the end, what I got out of it was the good times and the memories, which sounds a little shallow. But they are the reasons I can look back and not have any serious regrets about all the time I put in. Here are just a few:
(1) The warm fall afternoons we spent standing on the football field doing nothing as Mrs. Ruybal tried to solve some unsolveable problem with our marching formation. (The problem was us - we sucked at it and no one cared.)
(2) Trips to Pueblo for band competitions where we could go around the Pueblo Mall and think we were in the big city. And getting stuck on La Veta Pass for an hour or two on the way home because of a jacknifed semi.
(3) All the halftimes of all the home basketball games for five years. Seeing how loud we could play "Great Balls of Fire" every time. I'm sure there was never a night when anybody said, "That band really sounds good tonight," as it was mostly a competition between low brass and the drums to see who could make more noise.
(4) Faking my way through an entire day at the Western State Honor Band. I was in way over my head. I couldn't even read most of the music as it was in bass clef and I had never bothered to learn reading any baritone music that wasn't written in treble clef. I'm still not exactly sure how I got picked for that one, because my audition tape was pretty bad as well. Must have been a statewide baritone shortage that year.
(5a) Traveling all the way to Manitou Springs my sophomore year so that the pep band could play at what was Centauri's first state playoff game in football in forever. It was so cold that all of our horns froze and we never played a note. Instead, we just stood there and froze and watched Centauri lose 7-6. I'm sure if we had been able to play, the music would have made the difference.
(5b) Also my sophomore year, the pep band showing up at Standley Lake HS for a first-round state playoff game - our girls were #1 ranked and the odds-on favorite to win the title. Only the band was told we could not play during the game because classes were in session. So we watched as our heavily favorite team lost by two. Again, our our rendition of "Great Balls of Fire" could have been the difference.
(6) Spending down time in the bandroom my freshman year with my friend Jesse rewinding a walkman and alternately trying to memorize the lyrics to "U Can't Touch This" and "Ice Ice Baby".
(7) One of the numbers on our repertoire was "Tequila" - remember Pee Wee's Big Adventure? Anyways, there was a point in the middle where we all stopped playing to shout Tequila!, and Partnership for Drug-Free Colorado had an issue with the band doing this at the games. We had a band conference on this issue and decided that we would still play it but instead shout Centauri! However, some of the bad kids at the game could still be heard to shout Tequila! anyways.
(8a) Anytime the phrase "Centauri hosting Regional Basketball Final" was used, what we heard was "it's time to make confetti." The first time was my sophomore year, the aforementioned 1992 Lady Falcons v. Las Animas, also the last varsity basketball game ever played in the old CHS gym. We made a small bag of confetti and hid it inside the bell of my baritone, scattering it when victory was assured.
(8b) A couple of years later, the same scenario played out except it was Battle Mountain coming to town and it was played in the shiny new CMS gym. This time, we spent the week beforehand producing a larger quantity of confetti. We raided the dumpster of a print shop and then cut up as much as we could with scissors. A good cross-cut shredder would have been useful then. By that time, we all had our super-awesome and super-bulky Starter jackets which we could use to sneak in confetti. Again, we won, and again, the band section became littered with confetti. I'm so glad our confetti efforts never went for naught. An angry custodian told us we had to clean it up, but Mrs. Ruybal said that in fact we did not. Hooray!
(9) On occassion, we played at home football games, which could get a little on the boring side. We engaged in a gum-chewing contest to see how many sticks of gum we could fit in our mouth. The answer is between 75 and 100 - depending on your resolve, how much money you have to spend at concessions, and whether or not you used Big Red as your chewing gum of choice.
(10) The annual Christmas Concert at CHS. Everyone would get all spiffed up, and there was always sort of a general feeling in the air that we were about to participate in something that was truly bigger than all of us.
(11) Twice we were able to take our horn-blasting act on the road to the state tournament. I'm sure crowds at McNichols Arena and the Denver Coliseum felt blessed to have heard us do "Rockin' Robin" like that.
Not only that, I was also a full participant in choir. We didn't technically have a separate choir class until I think my last year, when they broke up the band hour into a M W F Band section and a T T Choir section. It didn't really matter to me, I was pretty much in on everything music-related at CHS.
As a band student, you do surrender a few opportunites explore other interests or talents. Between junior high and high school, band took a period of my class schedule every day for six years.
On one hand, I look back at what I missed out on in junior high, and it wasn't that much. Most of the electives I did take were stinkers anyways - Fly Tying, Science Fiction Reading, Drawing. My non-band friends were taking stuff like that and then filling in the extra spaces with study hall sessions. So it was probably just as well that I was in band.
But on the other hand, I look back at high school and see some stuff I might have missed out on. I could have taken another semester of accounting or another business or computer class that would have served me well in college. I could have taken journalism and perhaps the yearbook my class produced would have turned out a little better. I could have put a little more time into FBLA. These were all things that I would have enjoyed and probably would have done more for me later in life than band did. But there just wasn't room in the schedule.
And now I think back and wonder - why? Why did I do it?
I think I stayed in band all those years because I needed a thing. Everybody needs a thing in high school. I wasn't good enough at either cross country or track for either of those to be my thing. FBLA could have been my thing, but I didn't join until 11th grade and even then didn't really ever put in the time to be any good in the competitions. So I was left with music as my thing, so of course I wasn't going to quit or take a break. It's good to feel like you're an integral part of something - even though I was probably just as replaceable as anyone else. All it takes to convert a trumpet into a baritone is to find someone willing to do it and give him a horn. The learning curve is pretty minimal.
So did I get anything out of it, other than a self-esteem boost?
There was a self-esteem boost - I made the IML Honor Band twice, and the Western State All-Colorado Honor Band once. I strung together a few good scores at Solo & Ensemble at ASC. During the last semester of my senior year, I switched over to the tuba and became just as accomplished with that as I did with the other things I did during that semester - track (too lazy to go out) and the AP Calculus exam (failed it). But it did make me feel versatile.
Being a band senior at the last concert turned out to be sort of anticlimactic. I think I did get special mention at that last concert for my years of continuous participation - along with a bunch of other seniors. But there was no standing ovation from the audience and no middle schoolers asked for my autograph. So that wasn't the payoff.
I didn't study music or pursue a career in music and I haven't picked up a baritone in 17 years. I don't think anyone ever looked at a college application or a resume of mine and thought - "That's the clincher, right there. Look at all that band that guy did."
It's possible that it made me a better pianist, which is a skill I still use from time to time. And I suppose it was good practice for getting up in front of people and doing stuff.
I guess in the end, what I got out of it was the good times and the memories, which sounds a little shallow. But they are the reasons I can look back and not have any serious regrets about all the time I put in. Here are just a few:
(1) The warm fall afternoons we spent standing on the football field doing nothing as Mrs. Ruybal tried to solve some unsolveable problem with our marching formation. (The problem was us - we sucked at it and no one cared.)
(2) Trips to Pueblo for band competitions where we could go around the Pueblo Mall and think we were in the big city. And getting stuck on La Veta Pass for an hour or two on the way home because of a jacknifed semi.
(3) All the halftimes of all the home basketball games for five years. Seeing how loud we could play "Great Balls of Fire" every time. I'm sure there was never a night when anybody said, "That band really sounds good tonight," as it was mostly a competition between low brass and the drums to see who could make more noise.
(4) Faking my way through an entire day at the Western State Honor Band. I was in way over my head. I couldn't even read most of the music as it was in bass clef and I had never bothered to learn reading any baritone music that wasn't written in treble clef. I'm still not exactly sure how I got picked for that one, because my audition tape was pretty bad as well. Must have been a statewide baritone shortage that year.
(5a) Traveling all the way to Manitou Springs my sophomore year so that the pep band could play at what was Centauri's first state playoff game in football in forever. It was so cold that all of our horns froze and we never played a note. Instead, we just stood there and froze and watched Centauri lose 7-6. I'm sure if we had been able to play, the music would have made the difference.
(5b) Also my sophomore year, the pep band showing up at Standley Lake HS for a first-round state playoff game - our girls were #1 ranked and the odds-on favorite to win the title. Only the band was told we could not play during the game because classes were in session. So we watched as our heavily favorite team lost by two. Again, our our rendition of "Great Balls of Fire" could have been the difference.
(6) Spending down time in the bandroom my freshman year with my friend Jesse rewinding a walkman and alternately trying to memorize the lyrics to "U Can't Touch This" and "Ice Ice Baby".
(7) One of the numbers on our repertoire was "Tequila" - remember Pee Wee's Big Adventure? Anyways, there was a point in the middle where we all stopped playing to shout Tequila!, and Partnership for Drug-Free Colorado had an issue with the band doing this at the games. We had a band conference on this issue and decided that we would still play it but instead shout Centauri! However, some of the bad kids at the game could still be heard to shout Tequila! anyways.
(8a) Anytime the phrase "Centauri hosting Regional Basketball Final" was used, what we heard was "it's time to make confetti." The first time was my sophomore year, the aforementioned 1992 Lady Falcons v. Las Animas, also the last varsity basketball game ever played in the old CHS gym. We made a small bag of confetti and hid it inside the bell of my baritone, scattering it when victory was assured.
(8b) A couple of years later, the same scenario played out except it was Battle Mountain coming to town and it was played in the shiny new CMS gym. This time, we spent the week beforehand producing a larger quantity of confetti. We raided the dumpster of a print shop and then cut up as much as we could with scissors. A good cross-cut shredder would have been useful then. By that time, we all had our super-awesome and super-bulky Starter jackets which we could use to sneak in confetti. Again, we won, and again, the band section became littered with confetti. I'm so glad our confetti efforts never went for naught. An angry custodian told us we had to clean it up, but Mrs. Ruybal said that in fact we did not. Hooray!
(9) On occassion, we played at home football games, which could get a little on the boring side. We engaged in a gum-chewing contest to see how many sticks of gum we could fit in our mouth. The answer is between 75 and 100 - depending on your resolve, how much money you have to spend at concessions, and whether or not you used Big Red as your chewing gum of choice.
(10) The annual Christmas Concert at CHS. Everyone would get all spiffed up, and there was always sort of a general feeling in the air that we were about to participate in something that was truly bigger than all of us.
(11) Twice we were able to take our horn-blasting act on the road to the state tournament. I'm sure crowds at McNichols Arena and the Denver Coliseum felt blessed to have heard us do "Rockin' Robin" like that.
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