Oh, Brother!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is known for having its own unique terminology and customs. New members might be perplexed to find that a "stake center" is not a "steak center" and even more seasoned members may not be able to tell you the difference between PEC and BYC. And MTC is not the acronym for Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

In the church, it is customary to use titles when addressing other members, i.e. Brother Black and Sister Snow rather than using first names only. Missionaries use the titles "Elder" or "Sister" and local priesthood leaders go by "Bishop" or "President". It's a way of showing respect for the office they hold, not unlike the way "Pastor" or "Father" are used in other churches. When we use "Brother" or "Sister" it is used both as a show of respect but also as a reminder to us that we are all spiritual brothers and sisters, children of one Heavenly Father.

And I'm okay with all of that.

Except for one little part.

I don't like it to be used on me. I don't hold any position in the church that would necessitate a special title, but I don't like being addressed as "Brother". And I've found that I'm quite casual about bypassing the convention myself, which makes me wonder how other members feel about me using their first names.

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In some situations, I still find it entirely appropriate. Children should speak to adult members using "Brother" or "Sister". And if you are approaching someone much older than yourself, who you don't know well, it's also probably a good idea. And of course, using titles for church leaders is always the way to go.

But if someone who is approximately my own age uses "Brother" it kind of bothers me. It doesn't imply a brother/sister type closeness at all. Instead, it feels like they are establishing that our relationship is church-only. They aren't comfortable with me. They don't want to know me on a more personal level. It's almost like they are putting up a barrier. For me, using the first name feels welcoming.   "Church or no church, we're friends".

I'm not saying that I'm right and everyone should agree. I talked to my wife about this and she doesn't agree with me at all. And we typically agree on stuff. I'm sure that I am overthinking the matter and that not everyone perceives it the same way that I do.