Ranking AGT Top 16

So this is the first year I've really gotten into America's Got Talent with all my heart, might, mind, and strength. It's kind of an interesting show.

There was the "tour of cities" from which they sent a bunch of people to Vegas. In Vegas, they narrowed it down to 48 acts and sent them to Hollywood. Now it's down to 16 semifinalists, only they still need 8 more semifinalists before they can have the semifinals. I think they get 4 from the "YouTube" show and 4 from the "Wildcard" show. I'm still kind of new to all the rules.

Anyways, as you know I love ranking stuff, so I thought it would be appropriate to rank the 16 semifinalists which we have been following these past couple of months. Because the title of this blog is "In My Book" they are ranked according to my personal preference and not according to what I think their actual chances of winning the show are.

16. Steven Retchless. Watching him sort of makes you want to retch. There's no doubt he's talented and incredibly strong, but as Piers commented once, there is a reason there are no male pole dancing clubs.

15. Daniel Joseph Baker. I'm probably not being fair to old D.J. because technically I missed his last performance. But in general, he doesn't really appeal to me, so he would probably end up in this spot anyways.

14. Miami All-Stars. It's a dance group. I know that. But I don't really remember anything about their performance. I do remember thinking that they stole a slot in the semifinals from the family who raced around on their motorbikes inside the sphere.

13. Smage Bros Riding Shows. The judges seem to be quite taken with these guys. But then the judges think whatever the last thing they saw was the most dangerous thing they have ever seen. It's a bunch of guys doing tricks on dirtbikes.

12. Poplyfe. I feel like I missed something on their last performance - the judges were raving but it seemed pretty regular to me.

11. Fatally Unique. I'm surprised I have them up this high, as they are a dance group. But their last performance was actually not bad.

10. Team iLuminate. The judges are quite bullish on Team iLuminate, as they were basically ready to hand the keys to the universe over to them last week. It's cool, dancing around in the dark with light-up suits on, but not really super memorable for me.

9. Zuma Zuma. I like them, but I thought their last act was a little boring. Is that wrong? Because they were doing backflips off of poles from insane heights, and other similarly impressive feats.

8. Snap Boogie. He's a pretty compelling act for a solo dancer.

7. Lys Agnes. Great voice. Doesn't look like the sterotypical classical/opera singer, but she is really good. Gets a few bonus points for being from Denver.

6. Silhouettes. If it were a bunch of adults running around behind a curtain making pictures with their shadows, I'm not sure if it would be as big of a deal. But because it is a bunch of kids, it's pretty cool. Again, I'm probably giving them a little bump in the standings for being from the Denver area.

5. Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Probably the Cinderella story of the competition - a black man from small-town West Virginia who washes cars for a living. Oh, and also sings like Frank Sinatra. You sort of keep expecting his bubble to burst but he keeps on cooking.

4. Professor Splash. He gets extra points from me because while a lot of the other acts might get hurt, he actually does get hurt - guaranteed. They showed him once sitting in an ambulance getting treated afterwards and he gets all bruised up. Belly-flopping from insane heights into 12 inches of water - well, it would probably kill me.

3. Melissa Villasenor. Impossible not to like, both because of her personality and her act. She's done some great celebrity impersonations - Natalie Portman, Drew Barrymore, Owen Wilson, Michael Jackson, Judy Garland. I don't know that she will make it to the end, but I'm glad we get to watch her at least one more time.

2. Sandau Trio Russian Bar. The Russian Bar is apparently this super flexible plank, about as wide as a balance beam. Two guys are holding either end, while a girl is doing insane backflips with half-twists and everything else. Oh, and last time they had a board filled with nails and also on fire under the Russian Bar. I think it's slightly more compelling than Professor Splash because it's not over in 5 seconds.

1. Anna Graceman. I think she's the clear leader at this point. I've kind of been wondering if she has an unfair advantage because she's so young. Would we be as impressed with Anna if she gave the same performances as a 22-year-old? I'm not sure. You could raise the same questions with a lot of acts - would Landau be as compelling if he were a wealthy, white, middle-aged man? Everyone left in the competition has spent hours upon hours practicing and refining their skills. But just being talented isn't enough anymore. In order to win, you have to be able to blow people's doors off. To perform like she does - at the age of 11 - is amazing.

I think this competition is kind of biased against certain performers. They're asking people to watch on television and then vote on who's the best. And I think watching on TV would be totally different than watching it in person - because some acts don't come across well on TV. For example, the deck is stacked against magicians, because there is no way for a TV audience to differentiate a good illusion from tricky camera angles. It's kind of the same for dance groups or anything else involving a lot of people - there's just too much going on to be effectively captured on screen. So I think musicians have a big advantage.

The YouTube show last night, apart from a couple of acts, was totally lame. So I don't think those acts will shake up these rankings too much.