Tall Tales

As a young boy, I had a friend who was pretty good at storytelling. For some reason, I still remember a couple of the best ones.

One of our funnest summer activities was playing baseball. One time he told me the history of his baseball. Apparently, his neighbor across the street had been a major league umpire back in the 1920s and had picked up a stray baseball after a game and saved it for 50 years until he bequeathed it to my friend. And this was the ball we played with back behind his house.

Another time he was telling me about a dog he had once owned, an exemplary canine. He used to hitch his wagon to the dog and have the dog pull him around. Then one day a guy in a Ferrari came by the house and wanted to race or something. And although it was close, the dog did in fact outrun the Ferrari while pulling my friend in a wagon.

Even at seven or eight or however old we were, I think my BS Meter was pretty well calibrated. I didn't call my friend on it at the time, but I even at that age I could detect how illogical the stories were. Dude, I've known you practically your whole life. Wouldn't you have told me about this race-dog before now?!? And why don't we go over and visit your umpire friend who has retired to the middle of nowhere? Maybe he can regale us with stories of the Babe.

I'm not sure why I still remember these stories, but they sure are funny.