Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Which Game Did I Attend?

So with pennant fever again descending upon the Rocky Mountains, I decided this past weekend was the perfect chance to open up the old wallet and partake of the hometown Colorado Rockies hosting the San Francisco Giants, who are currently battling the Rockies for the lead in the National League wildcard race.

I haven't been to a Rockies game in more than two years. The cost is usually enough to keep me away. It's pretty hard to keep it cheap. I decided to partake of Wells Fargo's offer on 2-for-1 club level seating, getting two tickets for $50. And they were good seats. I don't know that they were worth $50, but they were definitely worth $25. But then there was the stupid online "convenience" fee of $8.50. And then there is the transportation. We took light rail, and even with my son's ticket being only half-price, it was still $10.50. We tried to go cheap on the food, bringing our own snacks and drinks, and paying only for our cheeseburger and Rockie Dog (which was so not worth it). That's another $12. And I bought I game program and scorecard for $5. So that's $86. I suppose there are worse deals you could find for $86. I can't imagine how entire families can afford to go to a game together.

And so which of the games in the four game series do you think we had the privilege of attending?

A. A high-scoring affair which featured the Rockies coming from behind, featuring a seven-run inning, which resulted in a 14-11 victory.

B. A fourteen-inning thriller which remained deadlocked at 1-1 for much of the game and was filled with numerous strategic moves and injured players coming off the bench to contribute, until the Giants broke through with three runs in the top of the 14th. No worries, though, as the home team was victorious thanks to a game-ending grand slam in the bottom of the 14th.

C. A duel between two of the top National League pitchers, in which the Rockies prevailed when my namesake crushed a home run into the second deck in right field off of the starting pitcher from this year's NL All-Star team.

D. A humdrum game which saw the Rockies fall behind 3-0 in the first inning and never quite recover. The home team strikes out 12 times, commits three errors, and seems to ground into inning-ending double plays whenever they get a rally started.

If you guessed "D", then you are absolutely right! You're tonight's winner!

Just my luck. Oh, well, it was still a fun trip. We'll see if I make it back to Coors Field before 2011.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Season Cancelled

Today the Denver Broncos decided not to play the 2009 season.

"After careful thought and consultation with my associates, I have decided that the Broncos will not play this season," team owner Pat Bowlen said in a prepared statement. "It is obvious to everyone in the organization, myself included, that our schedule of games is far too difficult. We have no chance to make the playoffs - so we aren't even going to try. We will continue to practice and prepare for the 2010 season. With some luck, we will be given a schedule that will give us a better chance of success."

When pressed as to what prompted him to make the decision, Bowlen responded. "Well, the experts have convinced me that the greatest indicator of future success is your past success. And we have a lot of teams on our schedule who were good last year, so this means that they will be just as good this year, if not better."

Bowlen was asked which teams on the 2009 schedule he feared the most. "Well, for starters we have to play the Colts AND the Patriots. That's Peyton Manning AND Tom Brady. And the Colts won the Super Bowl in 2007 and the Patriots in 2005. So that means that they will probably both win the Super Bowl this year. I don't know if that has ever happened, two teams winning the Super Bowl, but I think this will be the year. I don't see either team losing a game."

Bowlen also expounded on the plan which he submitted to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, whereby the entire league would forfeit any game on their schedule against an NFC East opponent. The Eagles, Cowboys, Giants, and Redskins would only play each other. "Those teams are so great, so mighty, that really, no team is even deserving of being in the same stadium with them. So that really played into my decision to cancel the Broncos' season, because all four of those teams are on our 2009 schedule."

Commissioner Goodell, reached for comment, said that he really liked the idea. "I think we are headed for a new era in the NFL. I can see the day where the NFC East becomes its own conference, and the remaining 12 NFC teams are absorbed into the AFC. And then the 28 teams in the AFC will battle for the right, the honor, and the privilege to play one of these four exemplary organizations in the Super Bowl."

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Spiritual Thought on Real Estate

I never before had seen this condemnation of townhouse developers in the scriptures:

"Wo unto them that join house to house, till there can be no place, that they may be placed alone in the midst of the earth!" (2 Nephi 15:8)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Lion, the Witch, and the Obama

I recently was gone on a Pioneer Trek for four days. It was kind of nice to be shut off from the world for a brief period of time. No newspapers, no internet, no cell phones, no podcasts, no TV, no radio.

I was a bit curious if anything big had happened newswise. Well, I guess not! Because pretty much what everything was talking about when we returned was the whole story with Cambridge, Massachusetts police sgt. James Crowley (the Lion) and Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. (the Witch).

If you haven't heard what happened, I ask if you have been living on a space satellite. I don't know if I've read a full news account of this story, but as far as I know, the Witch broke into his own house. Some lady called the cops. The Lion shows up and tells the Witch that he's gonna need to see some ID. The Witch has some contentious words for the Lion. The Lion arrests the Witch.

If you can believe this, the Lion and the Witch are of different races. Here. In America. In 2009! Who woulda thunk it! What has the world come to!

And anytime people of different races have a disagreement, there is only one possible explanation. One, or the other, or both, is racist. There is just simply no other conceivable reason that two people of different races would not see eye to eye. Even the lady who called the cops is a racist. Which she probably is. I mean, whenever I see white people breaking into houses, I just let it go.

That brings us to the Obama. As if he wasn't busy enough seizing private companies or nationalizing health care, he felt the need to get involved in local law enforcement by saying that the police had "acted stupidly." But I guess he felt obligated since he is a black man who went to Harvard. I'm sure that if Mitt Romney were president, he totally would have the back of any BYU professor who was arrested by a Latino cop in Provo.

Which, shockingly, didn't go over really well. Could it be that the Obama, he of the golden tongue, spoke out of turn?

So the Obama decides to smooth things over by having the Lion and the Witch down to D.C. for a tour of his pad and a few brews. And so, the "Beer Summit" was born. I'm not sure what the point of this activity was or why everyone was so excited about it. I mean, in the Denver Post, on the day of the summit, they had a full-color front page spread detailing the exact brand of beer that each man was going to drink at the White House. That seemed to be a little much.

Anyways, I'm not sure if I accomplished anything in my retelling of the classic tale of The Lion, the Witch, and the Obama. But it felt good to get it out. And it feels good knowing that should I have any trouble with local police that perhaps the Obama would talk some junk on my behalf and then fly me out to socialize with the officer who accosted me.