About two or three years ago, I read an excellent book: '77 by Terri Frei. It chronicles the season of the 1977 Denver Broncos, who that year became the first team in franchise history to make the Super Bowl. The book discussed the city's reaction to the Broncos and other non-football happenings around Denver at the time. It's a pretty good book if you're into that sort of thing, and made me wonder - what would it have been like to have been around at the time, to feel the buzz and the excitement? I was only two at the time, so yeah - no memories.
I sort of experienced it in the 1980s as the Broncos appeared in three Super Bowls from 1986-1989, although experiencing it in the SLV where most people didn't like the Broncos or were fair-weather fans wasn't quite the same.
When the Broncos won the Super Bowl following the 1997 and 1998 seasons, I lived in Idaho and Utah, respectively.
When I moved back to Colorado five years ago, I was hoping to be able to have some good fan experiences. However, I arrived just as they were running Jake Plummer out of town and just before Darrent Williams was murdered. What I got to experience was the twilight of Mike Shanahan's tenure in Denver, Jay Cutler's pouty face, and Josh McDaniels. So I've been feeling a little cheated that I moved here just in time to experience the dark years of Broncos history.
And then I realized recently - history is happening RIGHT NOW! This string of improbable come-from-behind wins is unprecedented. This is like MY 1977 and it is happening as I type.
Granted, this team probably isn't going to the Super Bowl. But then, I didn't think they were even going to make the playoffs this year. But here we are, with three games to go, sitting in first place in the AFC West. Nothing has been clinched yet, but the ride has definitely been fun.
It remains to be seen how this season winds up, but maybe someday a book will be written about 2011.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Daily Bronco Thought
And so we begin another week of debate about whether or not Tim Tebow should be the Broncos long-term answer at quarterback.
They can easily find a quarterback who is a better passer.
What they won't find is a quarterback who is a better leader.
I think the Broncos should stick with Tebow and work with him and try to develop his passing skills. I think their chances of success are much better going that route than drafting another young quarterback with a great arm and "hoping" he turns out to have the aptitude to lead the team to greatness as well.
Because it sure didn't work out with Jay Cutler, did it?
John Elway had a great arm, for sure. But what we treasure most about his career was his ability to make plays down the stretch. Let's think back to the 1991 AFC Divisional playoff game, when Elway executed "The Drive II". On that drive, he had to convert two 4th-and-10 plays. On the first, he scrambled and ran for the first down. On the second, he basically lobbed the ball to Vance Johnson, who scampered down the sideline for a long gain. Elway didn't need his rocket arm on either occassion.
Tebow has the same quality - the ability to make things happen any way he can. I vote we keep him around as the starting quarterback for 2012.
They can easily find a quarterback who is a better passer.
What they won't find is a quarterback who is a better leader.
I think the Broncos should stick with Tebow and work with him and try to develop his passing skills. I think their chances of success are much better going that route than drafting another young quarterback with a great arm and "hoping" he turns out to have the aptitude to lead the team to greatness as well.
Because it sure didn't work out with Jay Cutler, did it?
John Elway had a great arm, for sure. But what we treasure most about his career was his ability to make plays down the stretch. Let's think back to the 1991 AFC Divisional playoff game, when Elway executed "The Drive II". On that drive, he had to convert two 4th-and-10 plays. On the first, he scrambled and ran for the first down. On the second, he basically lobbed the ball to Vance Johnson, who scampered down the sideline for a long gain. Elway didn't need his rocket arm on either occassion.
Tebow has the same quality - the ability to make things happen any way he can. I vote we keep him around as the starting quarterback for 2012.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Weight Be Gone
I don't really believe in New Year's Resolutions. Sometimes I might imagine one in my brain, but I'm not that into it. Because if you're ready to make a change, why shouldn't you just go for it right then, instead of waiting for the calendar to tell you it's time?
Recently I decided to get more serious about losing a little weight. Party because I want my pants to fit better, but also because I'm tired of the WiiFit telling me that I'm overweight. There's really no reason for me to carry around as much weight as I do. So I sketched out a plan at the beginning of October to lose 2 pounds a week until New Year's, which would get me down to what I feel is a reasonable weight for me.
My main problem with keeping my weight in check is overeating. That dinner was delicious, so I must have more of it. Or, we might as well not have leftovers, so I should finish this off. Also a lot of snacking, whether it is in the afternoon at work when I'm feeling sleepy or in the evenings after the kids go to bed.
I've usually given up fairly easy on weight-loss attempts because I don't like feeling hungry or don't want to spend a bunch of extra money on so-called "healthy" foods. So I decided that I would focus on just cutting out extra portions and unhealthy snacking and see where that got me. Also, I'm better at doing stuff if I make it like a game, so I decided to limit myself to 2,000 calories per day.
The first week went great. I kept track of what I was eating in a notebook and was conscious about every food choice I made. The results were good too - I dropped three pounds. The first couple of days were difficult, but it became easier as I got used to eating less. I also found that food actually tasted much better when I wasn't consuming so much. A small portion of vanilla ice cream at the end of the week was surprisingly delightful.
While playing the calorie game really helped me as far as keeping myself in check, I found that it is sometimes easier said than done. It's pretty easy when you're counting what's in a sandwich, or a glass of milk, or a stack of pancakes. But when it's some sort of homemade soup or casserole, it's much more difficult to figure out where you're at calorie-wise. At first, I just guessed, but then sort of gave up on keeping track of any of it. Still, I dropped two more pounds the second week.
I've tried to get back into the notebook thing, but haven't been able to. My birthday was at the end of the third week, which brought some extra treats and food along with it. I (gasp) gained a tiny bit of weight back.
Another trap is fresh-baked rolls. It's a well-known fact that these are not nearly as good the day after. So I haven't done well at stopping at one or two. To do otherwise would be a disservice to the rolls. Plus the kids were on fall break this last week and one of their activities was to make homemade donuts and donut holes. So to come home from work after a long day of restraining yourself and find a bunch of tasty treats on the counter, well, it wasn't good. The fourth week wrapped up with me losing the extra that I gained back in week three.
So my net loss for the four weeks is five pounds. Many of my pants do fit a little better, and I've found that I'm actually less tired lately. So progress has been made. I plan to keep it going, if for no other reason than to have the Wii praise me.
Recently I decided to get more serious about losing a little weight. Party because I want my pants to fit better, but also because I'm tired of the WiiFit telling me that I'm overweight. There's really no reason for me to carry around as much weight as I do. So I sketched out a plan at the beginning of October to lose 2 pounds a week until New Year's, which would get me down to what I feel is a reasonable weight for me.
My main problem with keeping my weight in check is overeating. That dinner was delicious, so I must have more of it. Or, we might as well not have leftovers, so I should finish this off. Also a lot of snacking, whether it is in the afternoon at work when I'm feeling sleepy or in the evenings after the kids go to bed.
I've usually given up fairly easy on weight-loss attempts because I don't like feeling hungry or don't want to spend a bunch of extra money on so-called "healthy" foods. So I decided that I would focus on just cutting out extra portions and unhealthy snacking and see where that got me. Also, I'm better at doing stuff if I make it like a game, so I decided to limit myself to 2,000 calories per day.
The first week went great. I kept track of what I was eating in a notebook and was conscious about every food choice I made. The results were good too - I dropped three pounds. The first couple of days were difficult, but it became easier as I got used to eating less. I also found that food actually tasted much better when I wasn't consuming so much. A small portion of vanilla ice cream at the end of the week was surprisingly delightful.
While playing the calorie game really helped me as far as keeping myself in check, I found that it is sometimes easier said than done. It's pretty easy when you're counting what's in a sandwich, or a glass of milk, or a stack of pancakes. But when it's some sort of homemade soup or casserole, it's much more difficult to figure out where you're at calorie-wise. At first, I just guessed, but then sort of gave up on keeping track of any of it. Still, I dropped two more pounds the second week.
I've tried to get back into the notebook thing, but haven't been able to. My birthday was at the end of the third week, which brought some extra treats and food along with it. I (gasp) gained a tiny bit of weight back.
Another trap is fresh-baked rolls. It's a well-known fact that these are not nearly as good the day after. So I haven't done well at stopping at one or two. To do otherwise would be a disservice to the rolls. Plus the kids were on fall break this last week and one of their activities was to make homemade donuts and donut holes. So to come home from work after a long day of restraining yourself and find a bunch of tasty treats on the counter, well, it wasn't good. The fourth week wrapped up with me losing the extra that I gained back in week three.
So my net loss for the four weeks is five pounds. Many of my pants do fit a little better, and I've found that I'm actually less tired lately. So progress has been made. I plan to keep it going, if for no other reason than to have the Wii praise me.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Zethro's Fall TV Preview Part IV
Parks and Recreation (Thursdays, NBC): I'm sorry to say, but as much as I love this show, we've probably seen the best it has to offer already (seasons 2 & 3). So it is probably doomed to follow the same arc as The Office - we're no longer in the zone where pretty much every episode is guaranteed to be great. We'll see many decent-to-good episodes, with a few brilliant ones sprinkled in. They've pretty much admitted that the golden years are over - a book was recently released on the fictional town of Pawnee, which is pretty much an admission that there isn't a whole lot of new material from here on out. But maybe if Rob Lowe fixed his hair. . .
Whitney (Thursdays, NBC): It actually looked funny from the vignette promos that ran all summer on NBC. It's about a girl named Whitney and her bearded live-in boyfriend, and the hilarity of their non-married life. But it's hard to make a whole show out of vignettes. We gave it a try, and although it is better than Outsourced (last season's NBC Thursday night stinker), we decided it wasn't worth a place on the regular viewing schedule. But maybe if they got rid of the laugh track. . .
Up All Night (Wednesdays, NBC): NBC's promos for their new fall shows, which ran constantly during America's Got Talent last summer, really worked on me. This is another one I tried based on the promo. It's the story of a couple, played by Will Arnett and Christina Applegate, and they have a baby, and so the show is about how the baby is causing all sorts of havoc for their lives. Plus Maya Rudolph is involved. I didn't expect to like it, and actually didn't like it after watching the pilot. It's kind of harsh to judge a show on the pilot episode, but them's the breaks. At least this couple is married.
Prime Suspect (Thursdays (?), NBC): A cop show set in NYC, with homicide detective Jane Timoney as the main character. I would compare her to Veronica Mars, if only Veronica were 25 years older and working in NYC. Jane tends to rub people the wrong way, but has a knack for solving crimes. So the show is kind of about not only solving the cases, but how she isn't necessarily well-liked by her coworkers. As one of them said, "You have the worst personality ever." We're not big cop show people, so I can't really judge this against any other cop shows, but we actually like it. Which is pretty much the kiss of death. We were into the cop show Life, which lasted two seasons before being canceled by NBC a couple of years ago. And then there was Veronica Mars, which more of a PI show than a cop show, but still - canceled after three seasons. And Prime Suspect is rumored to be in trouble. They're beginning to move it around to different nights, trying to get people to watch.
Hmmm. So that should be about it. There's probably another show that I tried, but I'm not thinking of it right now. I hope my perspectives on the 2011 TV season were helpful to you in some way.
Whitney (Thursdays, NBC): It actually looked funny from the vignette promos that ran all summer on NBC. It's about a girl named Whitney and her bearded live-in boyfriend, and the hilarity of their non-married life. But it's hard to make a whole show out of vignettes. We gave it a try, and although it is better than Outsourced (last season's NBC Thursday night stinker), we decided it wasn't worth a place on the regular viewing schedule. But maybe if they got rid of the laugh track. . .
Up All Night (Wednesdays, NBC): NBC's promos for their new fall shows, which ran constantly during America's Got Talent last summer, really worked on me. This is another one I tried based on the promo. It's the story of a couple, played by Will Arnett and Christina Applegate, and they have a baby, and so the show is about how the baby is causing all sorts of havoc for their lives. Plus Maya Rudolph is involved. I didn't expect to like it, and actually didn't like it after watching the pilot. It's kind of harsh to judge a show on the pilot episode, but them's the breaks. At least this couple is married.
Prime Suspect (Thursdays (?), NBC): A cop show set in NYC, with homicide detective Jane Timoney as the main character. I would compare her to Veronica Mars, if only Veronica were 25 years older and working in NYC. Jane tends to rub people the wrong way, but has a knack for solving crimes. So the show is kind of about not only solving the cases, but how she isn't necessarily well-liked by her coworkers. As one of them said, "You have the worst personality ever." We're not big cop show people, so I can't really judge this against any other cop shows, but we actually like it. Which is pretty much the kiss of death. We were into the cop show Life, which lasted two seasons before being canceled by NBC a couple of years ago. And then there was Veronica Mars, which more of a PI show than a cop show, but still - canceled after three seasons. And Prime Suspect is rumored to be in trouble. They're beginning to move it around to different nights, trying to get people to watch.
Hmmm. So that should be about it. There's probably another show that I tried, but I'm not thinking of it right now. I hope my perspectives on the 2011 TV season were helpful to you in some way.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Zethro's Fall TV Preview Part III
Modern Family (Wednesdays, ABC): I'm a little worried about ModFam this season. The well is starting to run dry on a few of their standard jokes - Claire is uptight, Phil is a little boy trapped in an adult body, Manny is an adult trapped in a kid body, Gloria is loud and hard to understand, etc. - we get all that. Even Cam, the standout character from the first season, is starting to feel a little stale. It will be interesting to see if they do anything to freshen it up. I don't think talking Lily is the answer, however.
Community (Thursdays, NBC): I'm selling all my stock in this show. I didn't really like it to begin with, but sort of got sucked in after a couple of outstanding fisrt season episodes (the ones about chicken fingers and paintball), but now I'm back to square one. It's just not worth the investment when so many of the episodes are blah. Besides, season three of a show about community college? Shouldn't they all be done by now?
The Big Bang Theory (Thursdays, NBC): I keep wanting to sell my stock in this show, but keep getting lured back in by Shelden, for whom the joke well never seems to run dry. Jim Parsons is worth the Emmy and whatever money they pay him. And what does a show about nerds do to keep the laughs coming? Introduce more nerds. I enjoy any episode with Mayim Bialik (yes, that Mayim Bialik) as Amy Farrah Fowler, the female equivalent of Shelden.
The Office (Thursday, NBC): It doesn't completely make sense that Andy is the new regional manager. Michael at least made some sense, because although he could be a terrible boss, he was a great salesman. And everything that has been presented over the past couple of seasons has portrayed Andy as having one of the worst sales records in the office. But there is a lot that doesn't make sense with this show over the past four seasons - don't get me started, I could do an entire post on just this show and maybe I will sometime. But it's okay - it's a comedy. It's just supposed to make you laugh, not make you think, right?
I think I only have a couple more shows to do, so stay tuned for Part IV.
Community (Thursdays, NBC): I'm selling all my stock in this show. I didn't really like it to begin with, but sort of got sucked in after a couple of outstanding fisrt season episodes (the ones about chicken fingers and paintball), but now I'm back to square one. It's just not worth the investment when so many of the episodes are blah. Besides, season three of a show about community college? Shouldn't they all be done by now?
The Big Bang Theory (Thursdays, NBC): I keep wanting to sell my stock in this show, but keep getting lured back in by Shelden, for whom the joke well never seems to run dry. Jim Parsons is worth the Emmy and whatever money they pay him. And what does a show about nerds do to keep the laughs coming? Introduce more nerds. I enjoy any episode with Mayim Bialik (yes, that Mayim Bialik) as Amy Farrah Fowler, the female equivalent of Shelden.
The Office (Thursday, NBC): It doesn't completely make sense that Andy is the new regional manager. Michael at least made some sense, because although he could be a terrible boss, he was a great salesman. And everything that has been presented over the past couple of seasons has portrayed Andy as having one of the worst sales records in the office. But there is a lot that doesn't make sense with this show over the past four seasons - don't get me started, I could do an entire post on just this show and maybe I will sometime. But it's okay - it's a comedy. It's just supposed to make you laugh, not make you think, right?
I think I only have a couple more shows to do, so stay tuned for Part IV.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Zethro's Fall TV Preview Part II
The Biggest Loser (Tuesdays, NBC): E-liz would probably love it if I would get on board with this show. But I just haven't been able to do it. The melodrama of this show has just proven to be too much for me to handle. I can't handle the tears and the yelling and screaming. I can't handle that scale beep-beep-beeping for five minutes before it finally gives the weight. I can't handle breaking to commerical in the middle of a weigh-in. I can't handle that Alison Sweeney chick reciting "your current weight is. . ." with such gravity you'd think she was presenting the Best Picture Oscar. I can't handle that trainer guy Bob and his beard. I can't handle every episode being two hours long.
Survivor (Wednesday, CBS): I just keep coming back. I proclaimed before this season that I was going to take another hiatus from Survivor. But then I heard that not one, but two Mormons were going to be on this season. One of the Mormons is Dawn, who's in her forties and I think a BYU professor. The other Mormon is a guy, but I'm not even sure of his name because so far they've given him about 2.8 seconds of screen time. There is also this guy Brandon on this season who is a real piece of work. It's always amazing how the players get so offended about being voted off and the other Survivors not playing with integrity. Uh. . . this show has been on for like 12 years, guys. Get with the program. I still watch, maybe only because I can sit and make snide remarks about Jeff Probst.
Well, I'm already out of time for today so this will have to do for now. This may end up being a five-parter.
Survivor (Wednesday, CBS): I just keep coming back. I proclaimed before this season that I was going to take another hiatus from Survivor. But then I heard that not one, but two Mormons were going to be on this season. One of the Mormons is Dawn, who's in her forties and I think a BYU professor. The other Mormon is a guy, but I'm not even sure of his name because so far they've given him about 2.8 seconds of screen time. There is also this guy Brandon on this season who is a real piece of work. It's always amazing how the players get so offended about being voted off and the other Survivors not playing with integrity. Uh. . . this show has been on for like 12 years, guys. Get with the program. I still watch, maybe only because I can sit and make snide remarks about Jeff Probst.
Well, I'm already out of time for today so this will have to do for now. This may end up being a five-parter.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Zethro's Fall TV Preview Part I
Ah, fall is here. Kids are back in school, leaves are turning, and new shows to watch on the tube. The anticipation is great - until you realize that most of the new shows suck and aren't worth watching. You might be thinking, wow, this guy watches too much TV, and maybe that's true, but when you've got a baby who needs a lot of holding, what else are you going to do? Build an addition on the garage?
Here's my take on the Fall TV Season thus far:
The Amazing Race (Sundays, CBS): This used to be one of our main shows to watch, but then we stopped for a few years. E-liz has been wanting to start watching again the past couple of seasons, but we haven't, maybe because of the weird Sunday time slot, and maybe because I technically didn't want to. It's an okay show, but a little boring at times (here's one team riding in a cab, and here's another team riding in a cab, and here's yet another team riding in a cab) and sometimes seems a little rigged (they always make like there is a big crisis with one of the teams not being able to get a flight, but somehow they always all end up on the same plane). Plus, the host, Phil, kind of bugs me sometimes. By the way, we would be terrible if we ever went on this show.
Pan Am (Sundays, ABC): Speaking of planes and flights, E-liz looked at me with shock when I told her I had DVR'd the pilot episode of Pan Am, as if I had DVR'd professional wrestling or CSPAN. But now she professes to like the show, which is based around a group of stewardesses who see the world as employees of Pan Am Airlines. Of course, I'm all about nostalgia and enjoy the look in at a different era. So far, it's pretty tame content-wise, compared to say, Mad Men. It will be interesting to see how long they can keep it interesting - there's some serious potential to run out of plots and storylines pretty quick, and the sixties nostalgia won't keep it afloat forever.
NFL Football (Sundays & Mondays, CBS/FOX/NBC/ESPN): I wish I had more time to sit around and watch pro football, because I really do enjoy it. However, the way life is right now, there just isn't time. I always DVR the Broncos game, and sometimes it takes me two or three days to watch it, if I get through it at all. And that includes skipping through commercials and a lot of dead time between plays. Sigh. No big deal, since it appears the Broncos are on their way to another 4-12 season. At least Tim T. will keep us all interested.
The Playboy Club (was Mondays, NBC): I never watched it, although I did see roughly 2,572 promos while watching America's Got Talent last summer. My guess was that it was going to end up being canceled by Thanksgiving. I was wrong. It was canceled by Halloween, lasting just three episodes before NBC pulled the plug.
2 Broke Girls (Mondays, CBS): Technically, I only watched about two and a half minutes of this one night. It didn't look that compelling, although it seems to be getting good reviews.
So I had to include a couple of shows I don't watch so it actually seems like a Fall TV Preview, and not just a listing of what I watch.
Check back for Part II.
Here's my take on the Fall TV Season thus far:
The Amazing Race (Sundays, CBS): This used to be one of our main shows to watch, but then we stopped for a few years. E-liz has been wanting to start watching again the past couple of seasons, but we haven't, maybe because of the weird Sunday time slot, and maybe because I technically didn't want to. It's an okay show, but a little boring at times (here's one team riding in a cab, and here's another team riding in a cab, and here's yet another team riding in a cab) and sometimes seems a little rigged (they always make like there is a big crisis with one of the teams not being able to get a flight, but somehow they always all end up on the same plane). Plus, the host, Phil, kind of bugs me sometimes. By the way, we would be terrible if we ever went on this show.
Pan Am (Sundays, ABC): Speaking of planes and flights, E-liz looked at me with shock when I told her I had DVR'd the pilot episode of Pan Am, as if I had DVR'd professional wrestling or CSPAN. But now she professes to like the show, which is based around a group of stewardesses who see the world as employees of Pan Am Airlines. Of course, I'm all about nostalgia and enjoy the look in at a different era. So far, it's pretty tame content-wise, compared to say, Mad Men. It will be interesting to see how long they can keep it interesting - there's some serious potential to run out of plots and storylines pretty quick, and the sixties nostalgia won't keep it afloat forever.
NFL Football (Sundays & Mondays, CBS/FOX/NBC/ESPN): I wish I had more time to sit around and watch pro football, because I really do enjoy it. However, the way life is right now, there just isn't time. I always DVR the Broncos game, and sometimes it takes me two or three days to watch it, if I get through it at all. And that includes skipping through commercials and a lot of dead time between plays. Sigh. No big deal, since it appears the Broncos are on their way to another 4-12 season. At least Tim T. will keep us all interested.
The Playboy Club (was Mondays, NBC): I never watched it, although I did see roughly 2,572 promos while watching America's Got Talent last summer. My guess was that it was going to end up being canceled by Thanksgiving. I was wrong. It was canceled by Halloween, lasting just three episodes before NBC pulled the plug.
2 Broke Girls (Mondays, CBS): Technically, I only watched about two and a half minutes of this one night. It didn't look that compelling, although it seems to be getting good reviews.
So I had to include a couple of shows I don't watch so it actually seems like a Fall TV Preview, and not just a listing of what I watch.
Check back for Part II.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Are You Really Surprised?
The worst thing about any Broncos loss is that the Tebow talk will increase exponentially the following week. As if it's even possible - that might be a quandry for the mathematics field.
Denver could have won their game Sunday v. the Tennesse Titans. They could have won if only they had managed to score on one of the four consecutive plays they ran from inside the Tennessee 2-yard line. They could have won if the defense hadn't surrendered the 58-yard pass to the tight end to set up the Titans' go-ahead touchdown. They could have won if Kyle Orton's pass hadn't been batted in the air and intercepted when the Broncos were driving with less than two minutes to go.
On the other hand, they also could have lost by more points than they did - if Kenny Britt hadn't suffered a season-ending injury and fumbled the ball away to the Broncos on the same play or if the Denver defense hadn't been so successful slowing down Chris Johnson. Some things go your way and others don't. If you play the game ten times, you'd probably get a similar result six times.
A lot of talk has focused on the Broncos' failure to punch the ball in the end zone in four tries, and whether it was the right call to go for it on fourth down instead of kicking the field goal. Some people think the situation called for a "Tebow package" because the chances of Tim Tebow scoring in that situation are roughly 98.2 percent. John Fox didn't bring in Tebow in that situation, maybe because it's a little like feeding the bears, aka Tebowmania.
They didn't score because the offensive line isn't very good. This can still be blamed on Josh McDaniels - he spent first round picks on Knowshon Moreno, Demaryius Thomas, and Tim Tebow (none of whom played against the Titans, BTW) rather than a lineman such as Steelers Pro Bowl center Maurkice Pouncey (who was available for the Broncos to take in the first round in 2010 when they had no centers on their roster at the time BTW).
While I'm in favor of Kyle Orton being the starter at QB over Tebow, I'm not sure how much longer excuses can be made for him. One of the knocks against Orton is that he isn't able to lead the Broncos to victory when they are behind in the fourth quarter. He's had two chances so far this year, and has not come through either time. Sure, it wasn't necessarily his fault on Sunday that the Titans lineman got his hand up in order to deflect the pass. But it's still true that K.O. didn't come through in crunch time.
The Broncos have the Packers and the Chargers, and some folks are saying that should they lose both, Tebow will become the starter after the October 16th bye week. I feel that's a little bit wishful thinking, and they probably won't give up on Orton that soon.
A lot of fans are already getting on John Fox and his "conservative approach". Guys, it's going to take time to fix everything. Let's practice a little patience and not fire everyone after this season. Besides, wasn't Broncomania built on good defense? I know, it's a different era, and unless you're putting up 30 points a game, something must be really wrong.
The Broncos aren't going to the playoffs this year. We already knew that. In fact, I'm looking at their schedule the rest of the season and kind of feeling like my 6-10 prediction might be kind of optimistic.
@ Packers - defending Super Bowl champs
Chargers - have dominated Broncos the past few years
@ Dolphins - seems like a win, but it is a road game
Lions - might be one of the NFL elite
@ Raiders - Broncos already lost to Oakland at home
@ Chiefs - Broncos usually don't play well in KC
Jets - might be one of the NFL elite
@ Chargers - SD probably will be in the playoff hunt
@ Vikings - potential win, but is on the road
Bears - Jay Cutler looking for revenge
Patriots - they do still have the immortal Tom Brady
@ Bills - doesn't look so much like a win anymore
Chiefs - Maybe a win
The Dolphins, Vikings, and the two Chiefs games appear the most winnable at this point. I'd expect the Broncos to win a couple that they shouldn't - the Jets or Bears, for example, but they'll probably also drop one or two that they shouldn't.
So I'm kind of sticking with 6-10.
Denver could have won their game Sunday v. the Tennesse Titans. They could have won if only they had managed to score on one of the four consecutive plays they ran from inside the Tennessee 2-yard line. They could have won if the defense hadn't surrendered the 58-yard pass to the tight end to set up the Titans' go-ahead touchdown. They could have won if Kyle Orton's pass hadn't been batted in the air and intercepted when the Broncos were driving with less than two minutes to go.
On the other hand, they also could have lost by more points than they did - if Kenny Britt hadn't suffered a season-ending injury and fumbled the ball away to the Broncos on the same play or if the Denver defense hadn't been so successful slowing down Chris Johnson. Some things go your way and others don't. If you play the game ten times, you'd probably get a similar result six times.
A lot of talk has focused on the Broncos' failure to punch the ball in the end zone in four tries, and whether it was the right call to go for it on fourth down instead of kicking the field goal. Some people think the situation called for a "Tebow package" because the chances of Tim Tebow scoring in that situation are roughly 98.2 percent. John Fox didn't bring in Tebow in that situation, maybe because it's a little like feeding the bears, aka Tebowmania.
They didn't score because the offensive line isn't very good. This can still be blamed on Josh McDaniels - he spent first round picks on Knowshon Moreno, Demaryius Thomas, and Tim Tebow (none of whom played against the Titans, BTW) rather than a lineman such as Steelers Pro Bowl center Maurkice Pouncey (who was available for the Broncos to take in the first round in 2010 when they had no centers on their roster at the time BTW).
While I'm in favor of Kyle Orton being the starter at QB over Tebow, I'm not sure how much longer excuses can be made for him. One of the knocks against Orton is that he isn't able to lead the Broncos to victory when they are behind in the fourth quarter. He's had two chances so far this year, and has not come through either time. Sure, it wasn't necessarily his fault on Sunday that the Titans lineman got his hand up in order to deflect the pass. But it's still true that K.O. didn't come through in crunch time.
The Broncos have the Packers and the Chargers, and some folks are saying that should they lose both, Tebow will become the starter after the October 16th bye week. I feel that's a little bit wishful thinking, and they probably won't give up on Orton that soon.
A lot of fans are already getting on John Fox and his "conservative approach". Guys, it's going to take time to fix everything. Let's practice a little patience and not fire everyone after this season. Besides, wasn't Broncomania built on good defense? I know, it's a different era, and unless you're putting up 30 points a game, something must be really wrong.
The Broncos aren't going to the playoffs this year. We already knew that. In fact, I'm looking at their schedule the rest of the season and kind of feeling like my 6-10 prediction might be kind of optimistic.
@ Packers - defending Super Bowl champs
Chargers - have dominated Broncos the past few years
@ Dolphins - seems like a win, but it is a road game
Lions - might be one of the NFL elite
@ Raiders - Broncos already lost to Oakland at home
@ Chiefs - Broncos usually don't play well in KC
Jets - might be one of the NFL elite
@ Chargers - SD probably will be in the playoff hunt
@ Vikings - potential win, but is on the road
Bears - Jay Cutler looking for revenge
Patriots - they do still have the immortal Tom Brady
@ Bills - doesn't look so much like a win anymore
Chiefs - Maybe a win
The Dolphins, Vikings, and the two Chiefs games appear the most winnable at this point. I'd expect the Broncos to win a couple that they shouldn't - the Jets or Bears, for example, but they'll probably also drop one or two that they shouldn't.
So I'm kind of sticking with 6-10.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Ill Will for CU
Let's be clear, I don't give a crap about college football anymore. If they came out tomorrow and said it was canceled for the rest of eternity I wouldn't care one bit.
That being said, what's transpiring with the superconferences has me a bit excited, specifically the notion that the Pac-12 could soon grow to the Pac-16 by adding some combination of Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas, Texas Tech, and Baylor.
The University of Colorado is unhappy with this possibility, mainly because they ditched the Big 12 to join the sexier Pac-10 just last year. They were so pleased with themselves and talked about how much better their academic mission aligned with the elite schools of the Pac-10 and how much of a better fit it was to be in California because that's where all their alumni live anyway and blah blah blah. I'm surprised they didn't pack up the whole campus and the city of Boulder and move it all out to the Pacific coast.
So the very idea of CU breaking away from their family to go off to California and court all the pretty girls, only to be joined a year later by their hayseed brethren from the Southwest, who are going to sit up to the dinner table and scrape a heaping portion of the feast off CU's plate for themselves, and then go out and take their turn with the pretty girls. . . well, it's a beautiful thing to me.
I so hope it happens. It might very well be the highlight of my 2011 sports year.
I'm not sure when or why CU started bugging me so much. All I know is they do.
That being said, what's transpiring with the superconferences has me a bit excited, specifically the notion that the Pac-12 could soon grow to the Pac-16 by adding some combination of Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas, Texas Tech, and Baylor.
The University of Colorado is unhappy with this possibility, mainly because they ditched the Big 12 to join the sexier Pac-10 just last year. They were so pleased with themselves and talked about how much better their academic mission aligned with the elite schools of the Pac-10 and how much of a better fit it was to be in California because that's where all their alumni live anyway and blah blah blah. I'm surprised they didn't pack up the whole campus and the city of Boulder and move it all out to the Pacific coast.
So the very idea of CU breaking away from their family to go off to California and court all the pretty girls, only to be joined a year later by their hayseed brethren from the Southwest, who are going to sit up to the dinner table and scrape a heaping portion of the feast off CU's plate for themselves, and then go out and take their turn with the pretty girls. . . well, it's a beautiful thing to me.
I so hope it happens. It might very well be the highlight of my 2011 sports year.
I'm not sure when or why CU started bugging me so much. All I know is they do.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Not Looking Good
Like many folks, I was encouraged by the performance of the Broncos during the preseason. I thought that maybe they could potentially have a decent year of 8-8 where they're kind of in the playoff hunt, but not really.
But before making any public statements, I wanted to first see how they did in the opening week versus Oakland - knowing how the Raiders dominated them in both matchups in 2010.
After watching the game, I have decided to revise my high water mark for the Broncos from 8 wins to 6 wins. Because it sure looked like the same Broncos from 2010, but instead of Josh McDaniels coaching it was John Fox. They couldn't run the ball or stop the run. The offensive line couldn't protect the passer, and the Broncos couldn't rush the passer. It also looked like the same Kyle Orton. The Broncos got that early fumble recovery inside the Raiders 20, and the best they could do was a field goal. And then, with a chance to rally the Broncos in the fourth quarter, he fumbles the ball away.
The worst part about all this is that it will re-ignite all the Tebow lovers. But the Broncos issues are so much deeper than the quarterback. When you spend the better part of a decade failing to develop talent on the offensive and defensive line, this is what you get. A bad football team. And there is nothing that Knowshon Moreno, Demaryius Thomas, or Tim Tebow can do to solve it.
The good news is that the Broncos should have another top 10 draft pick next year. Hopefully they will use it wisely.
But before making any public statements, I wanted to first see how they did in the opening week versus Oakland - knowing how the Raiders dominated them in both matchups in 2010.
After watching the game, I have decided to revise my high water mark for the Broncos from 8 wins to 6 wins. Because it sure looked like the same Broncos from 2010, but instead of Josh McDaniels coaching it was John Fox. They couldn't run the ball or stop the run. The offensive line couldn't protect the passer, and the Broncos couldn't rush the passer. It also looked like the same Kyle Orton. The Broncos got that early fumble recovery inside the Raiders 20, and the best they could do was a field goal. And then, with a chance to rally the Broncos in the fourth quarter, he fumbles the ball away.
The worst part about all this is that it will re-ignite all the Tebow lovers. But the Broncos issues are so much deeper than the quarterback. When you spend the better part of a decade failing to develop talent on the offensive and defensive line, this is what you get. A bad football team. And there is nothing that Knowshon Moreno, Demaryius Thomas, or Tim Tebow can do to solve it.
The good news is that the Broncos should have another top 10 draft pick next year. Hopefully they will use it wisely.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
If You Strike Me Down, I Shall Become More Powerful Than You Can Possibly Imagine
In case you didn't hear, little Anna did not make it through to the finals of American's Got Talent. Her performance of Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" was admittedly a bit off, and with the judges raving about several other performances, the handwriting was on the wall as Tuesday's show wrapped up.
I held out hope that America would grade her on her whole body of work, but apparently they did not, and she was eliminated on Wednesday night from the competition.
The acts who will square off next week for the grand prize are Team iLuminate, Silhouettes, Poplyfe, and Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.
If the judges had to select a winner at their sole discretion, it's clear that they would have given it to Team iLuminate a couple of weeks ago. But since it's America voting, it will probably be the act which performs the best Tuesday night.
The double standards of the judges kind of bug me. It's not clear to me, and doesn't seem to be clear to the contestants, exactly how much they like to see the acts branch out and take risks.
In the early stages of the competition, Professor Splash wowed the judges with his bellyflops into the kiddie pool, but he was often questioned about what else he could do. When he finally did something a little different, they said it wasn't as good as the dives into the shallow pool. And he was immediately eliminated.
Sandau Trio Russian Bar ran into the same problem - in their efforts to do something different, they bombed badly, and were rightly criticized for it. Yet if they had continued doing variations on the original act, it seems likely that they would have been raked over the coals.
On Tuesday, the Miami All-Stars were criticized during the Top 10 show because Piers did not like the football/cheerleader theme of their performance, and said that he preferred the swing they had done in the semifinals.
However, minutes later, West Springfield Dance Team rolled out another edition of their unique brand of "gore-dance". Sharon seemed to think it was boring because they were expecting the same type of act. However, the similarily of their routines had never seemed to bother the judges before. I'm not sure what the judges wanted them to do - perhaps put on brightly-colored pastels and dance around with lollipops?
If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would argue that the rejection of Miami All-Stars and WSDT was simply a case of the judges making sure that the decks were cleared for their preferred dance acts - Team iLuminate and Silhouettes. Those two acts probably work a little better for a Vegas-type show - is it possible that the judges receive pressure from the producers of AGT or NBC to hype certain acts?
I bring this up because like WSDT, every act that Silhouettes has rolled out has been more or less the same - patriotic, heartstring-tugging themes - and yet the judges have been effusive in their praise every time. On Tuesday, AGT aired a manipulative human interest piece before Silhouettes went on - about many of the girls suffering from chronic illnesses, and their director not having any kids of her own, so all the dancers call her mom, and so on. It's clear they wanted them to go through Tuesday night, and America got the message.
The judges are clearly rooting for Team iLuminate to take the $1 million. I'm sure Team iLuminate could do whatever they want next on stage next Tuesday, and as long as it isn't a disaster, the judges will be ecstatic.
I guess Poplyfe is good, although they just don't connect with me for some reason. I wouldn't pay to see them - let's put it that way.
So I'm left to pull for Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. to croon his way to victory.
If you're thinking, wow, he's sounding kind of bitter and vindictive, well, I am, because my favorite just lost, and I don't care what happens to the rest of them. I'll miss her performances, which were akin to Carrie Underwood on American Idol. You didn't ever want to miss them, because they seemed like history in the making.
From the moment we heard "What a Wonderful World" nearly two months ago, it seemed that she had a blow-your-doors off quality that the other acts did not possess. And when she rolled out her version of "Home Sweet Home" a couple of weeks ago, it seemed like the momentum would be enough to carry her all the way. But I guess the demand to be ever-improving proved to be too much for a little kid, however remarkable she might be.
The good news for her, like Jennifer Hudson, is that this is just the beginning.
In case you haven't seen the show and are wondering what I'm talking about, please see my post immediately preceding this one.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Ranking AGT Semifinal Show #2
12. Gymkana. Thanks for playing.
11. Steven Retchless. You are gross, sir.
10. Fatally Unique. West Springfield Dance Team called and they want their concept back.
9. Sihouettes. I personally didn’t get it.
8. Summerwind Skippers. The mistakes are finally going to cost them.
7. Snap Boogie. He did well, but lacked the wow factor.
6. Landon Swank. I’ll give the magician credit – he did well.
5. The Kinetic King. He’s not a performer in the same way that everyone else is, but he’s still got talent.
4. Professor Splash. The judges wanted to see him do something else, so he did, and they said they liked the other thing better.
3. Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Is the fact that he’s sort of a one-trick pony going to catch up with him?
2. Smage Bros Riding Shows. Can we get these guys a bigger stage? Professor Splash gets to go outside.
1. Anna Graceman. Having mastered Alicia Keys and Louie Armstrong, she moves on to. . . Motley Crue? The other contestants have to be worried – it’s hard to imagine that she won’t win or at least be there at the very end.
I’m usually pretty good at picking who will go through – I was four for five last week. I predict that these five will advance tonight:
Anna Graceman
Smage Bros Riding Shows
Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.
The Kinetic King
The judges will be left to choose between Professor Splash and Landon Swank, and the magician will edge the diver by a 2-to-1 vote.
11. Steven Retchless. You are gross, sir.
10. Fatally Unique. West Springfield Dance Team called and they want their concept back.
9. Sihouettes. I personally didn’t get it.
8. Summerwind Skippers. The mistakes are finally going to cost them.
7. Snap Boogie. He did well, but lacked the wow factor.
6. Landon Swank. I’ll give the magician credit – he did well.
5. The Kinetic King. He’s not a performer in the same way that everyone else is, but he’s still got talent.
4. Professor Splash. The judges wanted to see him do something else, so he did, and they said they liked the other thing better.
3. Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Is the fact that he’s sort of a one-trick pony going to catch up with him?
2. Smage Bros Riding Shows. Can we get these guys a bigger stage? Professor Splash gets to go outside.
1. Anna Graceman. Having mastered Alicia Keys and Louie Armstrong, she moves on to. . . Motley Crue? The other contestants have to be worried – it’s hard to imagine that she won’t win or at least be there at the very end.
I’m usually pretty good at picking who will go through – I was four for five last week. I predict that these five will advance tonight:
Anna Graceman
Smage Bros Riding Shows
Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.
The Kinetic King
The judges will be left to choose between Professor Splash and Landon Swank, and the magician will edge the diver by a 2-to-1 vote.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Ranking AGT Semifinal Show #1
The first semifinal show was on last night. And I can't help myself. I have to rank them.
12. Kevin Colis - As Helen Hunt once said, buh-bye.
11. Sandau Trio Russian Bar - It saddens me to say it, because I had them ranked #2 overall, but they're done. When asked by the judges why they went for the upside-down piano act, they stated that they didn't have any more that they could do on Russian Bar. But if that was their second-best talent? Yikes.
10. Matt Wilhelm - The judges really built this guy up a couple of weeks ago, only to tear him back down last night. The only people more intolerant of a mistake are Olympic gymnastic TV commentators. As for me, he is who I thought he was. He's good, but not quite good enough.
9. Beth Ann Robinson - I guess my problem on young Miss Robinson is that I don't have a good frame of reference for what she does. I haven't watched enough dancing to know what's good and what's bad.
8. Team iLuminate - We're moving into Li'l Sebastian territory here. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I like other acts more.
7. Daniel Joseph Baker - He gives flawless performances every week, so there's no question about his talent. But I wouldn't ever be disappointed if I missed his act or if he was eliminated, so there's something missing.
6. Zuma Zuma - A lot of what they do seems kind of repetitive. Like Matt Wilhelm, it's kind of unclear how they would be able to come up with enough material for a full show.
5. Lys Agnes - I wonder if she ever feels weird that the judges are always praising how beautiful she is. Personally, I'm kind of running into the frame of reference problem a little bit with her singing.
4. Melissa Villasenor - My concern is that she probably isn't going to have enough ammo to beat the big guns. What she has going for her is that she is very likeable. You can't help but smile when she's on stage.
3. West Springfield Dance Team - So, if you haven't been watching, they first appeared on the YouTube show, but were not one of the four acts selected for the semifinals. But Sharon selected them for the Wildcard show, and they did make it through on that round. They're growing on me, and I think they are a serious contender.
2. Poplyfe - Performed "Come Together" last night and pulled it off quite well. I had them ranked in the middle of the pack because I wasn't sure how I felt about them, but I think they are clearly one of the top 10 at this point.
1. Miami All-Stars - I had them ranked WAY too low - probably because it has been so long since I've seen them perform (I think they were the first act of the Top 48 to perform - which was six weeks ago). These fools can dance! I think they were probably the best act from last night.
So that's how I would rank them. But here are the five who I predict will go through tonight:
Miami All-Stars
Poplyfe
Team iLuminate
Daniel Joseph Baker
Lys Agnes
12. Kevin Colis - As Helen Hunt once said, buh-bye.
11. Sandau Trio Russian Bar - It saddens me to say it, because I had them ranked #2 overall, but they're done. When asked by the judges why they went for the upside-down piano act, they stated that they didn't have any more that they could do on Russian Bar. But if that was their second-best talent? Yikes.
10. Matt Wilhelm - The judges really built this guy up a couple of weeks ago, only to tear him back down last night. The only people more intolerant of a mistake are Olympic gymnastic TV commentators. As for me, he is who I thought he was. He's good, but not quite good enough.
9. Beth Ann Robinson - I guess my problem on young Miss Robinson is that I don't have a good frame of reference for what she does. I haven't watched enough dancing to know what's good and what's bad.
8. Team iLuminate - We're moving into Li'l Sebastian territory here. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I like other acts more.
7. Daniel Joseph Baker - He gives flawless performances every week, so there's no question about his talent. But I wouldn't ever be disappointed if I missed his act or if he was eliminated, so there's something missing.
6. Zuma Zuma - A lot of what they do seems kind of repetitive. Like Matt Wilhelm, it's kind of unclear how they would be able to come up with enough material for a full show.
5. Lys Agnes - I wonder if she ever feels weird that the judges are always praising how beautiful she is. Personally, I'm kind of running into the frame of reference problem a little bit with her singing.
4. Melissa Villasenor - My concern is that she probably isn't going to have enough ammo to beat the big guns. What she has going for her is that she is very likeable. You can't help but smile when she's on stage.
3. West Springfield Dance Team - So, if you haven't been watching, they first appeared on the YouTube show, but were not one of the four acts selected for the semifinals. But Sharon selected them for the Wildcard show, and they did make it through on that round. They're growing on me, and I think they are a serious contender.
2. Poplyfe - Performed "Come Together" last night and pulled it off quite well. I had them ranked in the middle of the pack because I wasn't sure how I felt about them, but I think they are clearly one of the top 10 at this point.
1. Miami All-Stars - I had them ranked WAY too low - probably because it has been so long since I've seen them perform (I think they were the first act of the Top 48 to perform - which was six weeks ago). These fools can dance! I think they were probably the best act from last night.
So that's how I would rank them. But here are the five who I predict will go through tonight:
Miami All-Stars
Poplyfe
Team iLuminate
Daniel Joseph Baker
Lys Agnes
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Ranking AGT Semifinalists
I'm tired of all the pestering e-mails and calls demanding my updated rankings for the America's Got Talent semifinalists. So fine. Here they are.
(JK - I might be the only person on the face of the earth who takes time to rank everyone on AGT)
This updates my previous rankings to include the eight who made it through the YouTube and Wildcard shows, along with comments.
24. Kevin Colis, singer. America's Got Desperate. . .for a white male pop singer. Because I didn't think he was that good.
23. Steven Retchless, pole dancer.
22. Landon Swank, magician. Sigh. I guess Wildcard show is a good idea, but on the other hand, America already passed on you once. . .
21. Daniel Joseph Baker, singer.
20. Miami All-Stars, dance team.
19. Matt Wilhelm, bike stunts. The "headliner" from the YouTube show. The judges were practically ready to call the entire compeition for Wilhelm. But it didn't look good on television, because he was doing it in the dark. All you have to do to impress the judges is turn out the lights and do something while glowing in the dark. They'll be eating out of your hand.
18. Smage Bros Riding Shows, dirt bike stunts.
17. Beth Ann Robinson, dancer. She's from the YouTube show also. You can't be too hard on her because she's 14 and very talented, but her act just doesn't scream "superstar" to me.
16. Poplyfe, musical group.
15. Fatally Unique, dance team.
14. The Kinetic King, kinetic artist. Somehow he's back from the dead, making it through on the Wildcard show.
13. Team iLuminate, glow-in-the-dark dance team.
12. Zuma Zuma, gymnasts/contortionists.
11. West Springfield Dance Team. They needed to appear on both the YouTube and Wildcard shows, but they somehow squeezed into the semis.
10. Summerwind Skippers, rope jumpers. My highest ranked act from the Wildcard show.
9. Snap Boogie, breakdancer.
8. Lys Agnes, singer.
7. Silhouettes, shadow artists.
6. Gymkana, gymnasts. I thought they were the highlight of the YouTube show, not Mr. Glow Bike. We'll see how well they maintain this high ranking, since they have only performed once - not three or four times like many of the others.
5. Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.
4. Professor Splash.
3. Melissa Villasenor.
2. Sandau Trio Russian Bar.
1. Anna Graceman.
And yes, I am super excited for this week's show, especially now that we have separated the contenders from the pretenders (with a couple of exceptions).
(JK - I might be the only person on the face of the earth who takes time to rank everyone on AGT)
This updates my previous rankings to include the eight who made it through the YouTube and Wildcard shows, along with comments.
24. Kevin Colis, singer. America's Got Desperate. . .for a white male pop singer. Because I didn't think he was that good.
23. Steven Retchless, pole dancer.
22. Landon Swank, magician. Sigh. I guess Wildcard show is a good idea, but on the other hand, America already passed on you once. . .
21. Daniel Joseph Baker, singer.
20. Miami All-Stars, dance team.
19. Matt Wilhelm, bike stunts. The "headliner" from the YouTube show. The judges were practically ready to call the entire compeition for Wilhelm. But it didn't look good on television, because he was doing it in the dark. All you have to do to impress the judges is turn out the lights and do something while glowing in the dark. They'll be eating out of your hand.
18. Smage Bros Riding Shows, dirt bike stunts.
17. Beth Ann Robinson, dancer. She's from the YouTube show also. You can't be too hard on her because she's 14 and very talented, but her act just doesn't scream "superstar" to me.
16. Poplyfe, musical group.
15. Fatally Unique, dance team.
14. The Kinetic King, kinetic artist. Somehow he's back from the dead, making it through on the Wildcard show.
13. Team iLuminate, glow-in-the-dark dance team.
12. Zuma Zuma, gymnasts/contortionists.
11. West Springfield Dance Team. They needed to appear on both the YouTube and Wildcard shows, but they somehow squeezed into the semis.
10. Summerwind Skippers, rope jumpers. My highest ranked act from the Wildcard show.
9. Snap Boogie, breakdancer.
8. Lys Agnes, singer.
7. Silhouettes, shadow artists.
6. Gymkana, gymnasts. I thought they were the highlight of the YouTube show, not Mr. Glow Bike. We'll see how well they maintain this high ranking, since they have only performed once - not three or four times like many of the others.
5. Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.
4. Professor Splash.
3. Melissa Villasenor.
2. Sandau Trio Russian Bar.
1. Anna Graceman.
And yes, I am super excited for this week's show, especially now that we have separated the contenders from the pretenders (with a couple of exceptions).
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Observations on Kingergarten Cop
I never do this, but one night recently Kingergarten Cop was on one of the cable channels - TBS or TNT - I don't remember and it doesn't matter, but I sat and watched the whole thing.
This movie seemed really dated. I remember seeing Kindergarten Cop in the theater 20 years ago, for one of my friends' birthday parties. Afterwards, his mom was concerned that my mom would be upset that she had taken me to a PG-13 movie. Even though I was 15 years old at the time.
Sometimes when I'm watching a movie I like to say lines out loud from one of the actor's other movies. Penelope Ann Miller is in Kindergarten Cop, so field day for me.
"You just moved!"
"I don't have any cash!"
"Why would you hurt a poor defenseless little kitten?"
Arnold might be the weirdest movie star ever. They try to portray him in this movie to be a real studly cop who has all the womenfolk swooning. But Arnold making out with Penelope Ann Miller. . . it's kinda gross.
That being said, Arnold is hilarious. "It's not a tumah!"
If they made a show about dumbest movie criminals ever, Cullen Crisp is probably in the top 10. He attempts the kidnapping even though he's already introduced himself to the principal and knows that the cop who has been trying to nail him for years is in the building. He sets fire to the school to create a diversion, but that only guaranteed that firefighters and law enforcement were going to be on the scene in a matter of mintues. His plan had about zero percent chance of working.
This movie seemed really dated. I remember seeing Kindergarten Cop in the theater 20 years ago, for one of my friends' birthday parties. Afterwards, his mom was concerned that my mom would be upset that she had taken me to a PG-13 movie. Even though I was 15 years old at the time.
Sometimes when I'm watching a movie I like to say lines out loud from one of the actor's other movies. Penelope Ann Miller is in Kindergarten Cop, so field day for me.
"You just moved!"
"I don't have any cash!"
"Why would you hurt a poor defenseless little kitten?"
Arnold might be the weirdest movie star ever. They try to portray him in this movie to be a real studly cop who has all the womenfolk swooning. But Arnold making out with Penelope Ann Miller. . . it's kinda gross.
That being said, Arnold is hilarious. "It's not a tumah!"
If they made a show about dumbest movie criminals ever, Cullen Crisp is probably in the top 10. He attempts the kidnapping even though he's already introduced himself to the principal and knows that the cop who has been trying to nail him for years is in the building. He sets fire to the school to create a diversion, but that only guaranteed that firefighters and law enforcement were going to be on the scene in a matter of mintues. His plan had about zero percent chance of working.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Ranking AGT Top 16
So this is the first year I've really gotten into America's Got Talent with all my heart, might, mind, and strength. It's kind of an interesting show.
There was the "tour of cities" from which they sent a bunch of people to Vegas. In Vegas, they narrowed it down to 48 acts and sent them to Hollywood. Now it's down to 16 semifinalists, only they still need 8 more semifinalists before they can have the semifinals. I think they get 4 from the "YouTube" show and 4 from the "Wildcard" show. I'm still kind of new to all the rules.
Anyways, as you know I love ranking stuff, so I thought it would be appropriate to rank the 16 semifinalists which we have been following these past couple of months. Because the title of this blog is "In My Book" they are ranked according to my personal preference and not according to what I think their actual chances of winning the show are.
16. Steven Retchless. Watching him sort of makes you want to retch. There's no doubt he's talented and incredibly strong, but as Piers commented once, there is a reason there are no male pole dancing clubs.
15. Daniel Joseph Baker. I'm probably not being fair to old D.J. because technically I missed his last performance. But in general, he doesn't really appeal to me, so he would probably end up in this spot anyways.
14. Miami All-Stars. It's a dance group. I know that. But I don't really remember anything about their performance. I do remember thinking that they stole a slot in the semifinals from the family who raced around on their motorbikes inside the sphere.
13. Smage Bros Riding Shows. The judges seem to be quite taken with these guys. But then the judges think whatever the last thing they saw was the most dangerous thing they have ever seen. It's a bunch of guys doing tricks on dirtbikes.
12. Poplyfe. I feel like I missed something on their last performance - the judges were raving but it seemed pretty regular to me.
11. Fatally Unique. I'm surprised I have them up this high, as they are a dance group. But their last performance was actually not bad.
10. Team iLuminate. The judges are quite bullish on Team iLuminate, as they were basically ready to hand the keys to the universe over to them last week. It's cool, dancing around in the dark with light-up suits on, but not really super memorable for me.
9. Zuma Zuma. I like them, but I thought their last act was a little boring. Is that wrong? Because they were doing backflips off of poles from insane heights, and other similarly impressive feats.
8. Snap Boogie. He's a pretty compelling act for a solo dancer.
7. Lys Agnes. Great voice. Doesn't look like the sterotypical classical/opera singer, but she is really good. Gets a few bonus points for being from Denver.
6. Silhouettes. If it were a bunch of adults running around behind a curtain making pictures with their shadows, I'm not sure if it would be as big of a deal. But because it is a bunch of kids, it's pretty cool. Again, I'm probably giving them a little bump in the standings for being from the Denver area.
5. Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Probably the Cinderella story of the competition - a black man from small-town West Virginia who washes cars for a living. Oh, and also sings like Frank Sinatra. You sort of keep expecting his bubble to burst but he keeps on cooking.
4. Professor Splash. He gets extra points from me because while a lot of the other acts might get hurt, he actually does get hurt - guaranteed. They showed him once sitting in an ambulance getting treated afterwards and he gets all bruised up. Belly-flopping from insane heights into 12 inches of water - well, it would probably kill me.
3. Melissa Villasenor. Impossible not to like, both because of her personality and her act. She's done some great celebrity impersonations - Natalie Portman, Drew Barrymore, Owen Wilson, Michael Jackson, Judy Garland. I don't know that she will make it to the end, but I'm glad we get to watch her at least one more time.
2. Sandau Trio Russian Bar. The Russian Bar is apparently this super flexible plank, about as wide as a balance beam. Two guys are holding either end, while a girl is doing insane backflips with half-twists and everything else. Oh, and last time they had a board filled with nails and also on fire under the Russian Bar. I think it's slightly more compelling than Professor Splash because it's not over in 5 seconds.
1. Anna Graceman. I think she's the clear leader at this point. I've kind of been wondering if she has an unfair advantage because she's so young. Would we be as impressed with Anna if she gave the same performances as a 22-year-old? I'm not sure. You could raise the same questions with a lot of acts - would Landau be as compelling if he were a wealthy, white, middle-aged man? Everyone left in the competition has spent hours upon hours practicing and refining their skills. But just being talented isn't enough anymore. In order to win, you have to be able to blow people's doors off. To perform like she does - at the age of 11 - is amazing.
I think this competition is kind of biased against certain performers. They're asking people to watch on television and then vote on who's the best. And I think watching on TV would be totally different than watching it in person - because some acts don't come across well on TV. For example, the deck is stacked against magicians, because there is no way for a TV audience to differentiate a good illusion from tricky camera angles. It's kind of the same for dance groups or anything else involving a lot of people - there's just too much going on to be effectively captured on screen. So I think musicians have a big advantage.
The YouTube show last night, apart from a couple of acts, was totally lame. So I don't think those acts will shake up these rankings too much.
There was the "tour of cities" from which they sent a bunch of people to Vegas. In Vegas, they narrowed it down to 48 acts and sent them to Hollywood. Now it's down to 16 semifinalists, only they still need 8 more semifinalists before they can have the semifinals. I think they get 4 from the "YouTube" show and 4 from the "Wildcard" show. I'm still kind of new to all the rules.
Anyways, as you know I love ranking stuff, so I thought it would be appropriate to rank the 16 semifinalists which we have been following these past couple of months. Because the title of this blog is "In My Book" they are ranked according to my personal preference and not according to what I think their actual chances of winning the show are.
16. Steven Retchless. Watching him sort of makes you want to retch. There's no doubt he's talented and incredibly strong, but as Piers commented once, there is a reason there are no male pole dancing clubs.
15. Daniel Joseph Baker. I'm probably not being fair to old D.J. because technically I missed his last performance. But in general, he doesn't really appeal to me, so he would probably end up in this spot anyways.
14. Miami All-Stars. It's a dance group. I know that. But I don't really remember anything about their performance. I do remember thinking that they stole a slot in the semifinals from the family who raced around on their motorbikes inside the sphere.
13. Smage Bros Riding Shows. The judges seem to be quite taken with these guys. But then the judges think whatever the last thing they saw was the most dangerous thing they have ever seen. It's a bunch of guys doing tricks on dirtbikes.
12. Poplyfe. I feel like I missed something on their last performance - the judges were raving but it seemed pretty regular to me.
11. Fatally Unique. I'm surprised I have them up this high, as they are a dance group. But their last performance was actually not bad.
10. Team iLuminate. The judges are quite bullish on Team iLuminate, as they were basically ready to hand the keys to the universe over to them last week. It's cool, dancing around in the dark with light-up suits on, but not really super memorable for me.
9. Zuma Zuma. I like them, but I thought their last act was a little boring. Is that wrong? Because they were doing backflips off of poles from insane heights, and other similarly impressive feats.
8. Snap Boogie. He's a pretty compelling act for a solo dancer.
7. Lys Agnes. Great voice. Doesn't look like the sterotypical classical/opera singer, but she is really good. Gets a few bonus points for being from Denver.
6. Silhouettes. If it were a bunch of adults running around behind a curtain making pictures with their shadows, I'm not sure if it would be as big of a deal. But because it is a bunch of kids, it's pretty cool. Again, I'm probably giving them a little bump in the standings for being from the Denver area.
5. Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Probably the Cinderella story of the competition - a black man from small-town West Virginia who washes cars for a living. Oh, and also sings like Frank Sinatra. You sort of keep expecting his bubble to burst but he keeps on cooking.
4. Professor Splash. He gets extra points from me because while a lot of the other acts might get hurt, he actually does get hurt - guaranteed. They showed him once sitting in an ambulance getting treated afterwards and he gets all bruised up. Belly-flopping from insane heights into 12 inches of water - well, it would probably kill me.
3. Melissa Villasenor. Impossible not to like, both because of her personality and her act. She's done some great celebrity impersonations - Natalie Portman, Drew Barrymore, Owen Wilson, Michael Jackson, Judy Garland. I don't know that she will make it to the end, but I'm glad we get to watch her at least one more time.
2. Sandau Trio Russian Bar. The Russian Bar is apparently this super flexible plank, about as wide as a balance beam. Two guys are holding either end, while a girl is doing insane backflips with half-twists and everything else. Oh, and last time they had a board filled with nails and also on fire under the Russian Bar. I think it's slightly more compelling than Professor Splash because it's not over in 5 seconds.
1. Anna Graceman. I think she's the clear leader at this point. I've kind of been wondering if she has an unfair advantage because she's so young. Would we be as impressed with Anna if she gave the same performances as a 22-year-old? I'm not sure. You could raise the same questions with a lot of acts - would Landau be as compelling if he were a wealthy, white, middle-aged man? Everyone left in the competition has spent hours upon hours practicing and refining their skills. But just being talented isn't enough anymore. In order to win, you have to be able to blow people's doors off. To perform like she does - at the age of 11 - is amazing.
I think this competition is kind of biased against certain performers. They're asking people to watch on television and then vote on who's the best. And I think watching on TV would be totally different than watching it in person - because some acts don't come across well on TV. For example, the deck is stacked against magicians, because there is no way for a TV audience to differentiate a good illusion from tricky camera angles. It's kind of the same for dance groups or anything else involving a lot of people - there's just too much going on to be effectively captured on screen. So I think musicians have a big advantage.
The YouTube show last night, apart from a couple of acts, was totally lame. So I don't think those acts will shake up these rankings too much.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Li'l Tebow
I don't know how many of you readers are fans of the TV series Parks and Recreation, but there is an episode from last season named "Harvest Festival" which reminds me of this whole Tim Tebow situation in Denver.
In the episode, the department is preparing for the Pawnee Harvest Festival when Leslie Knope unveils a surprise - the famous mini-horse Li'l Sebastian - who will have his own booth at the festival. Everyone, including Ron Swanson, is simply beside themselves to be in the presence of Li'l Sebastian. That is, everyone except Ben Wyatt, the state auditor from Indianapolis who is helping Pawnee with their budget problems.
At the end of the episode, he starts faking it while talking to Leslie by Li'l Sebastian's pen. He tells Leslie, "He really is amazing. . . he's fantastic. I totally get it now."
And then, a few feet away, he tells the camera, "I don't get it - at all. It's kind of a small horse. I mean, what am I missing? Am I crazy?"
Pawnee is the Denver metro area. Ben Wyatt is me. And Li'l Sebastian is Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow won a Heisman Trophy and a national championship while quarterback at the University of Florida. Josh McDaniels spent a first-round draft choice on Tebow while he was coach of the Denver Broncos. The current controversy in Denver is whether Tebow will ever be a good pro quarterback.
Yet he is immensely popular. Fans LOVE them some Tebow. I think he had the highest selling jersey in the NFL last year - and was a rookie backup quarterback. If you go to any Broncos event, you will spot hundreds of no. 15 jerseys.
Yesterday, I took some of the kidlings to an annual Broncos event - the practice/scrimmage at the stadium. The first place we were sitting was about ten rows up from the field. After we first arrived, before any players were out on the field, a lady sitting behind us said, "I think when Tebow comes out, I'm going to faint."
We had to move to a shadier spot because the sun was unbelievably hot, but there were Tebow supporters everywhere. The first time Tebow came out to lead one of the drills as the quarterback, the crowd erupted with cheers. Remember, he's currently the backup quarterback. As a lifelong Broncos fan, I was quite embarrassed.
When starting QB Kyle Orton slid down at the end of a run near the end zone, he was loudly criticized by many fans sitting near us. Because Tebow would have not done that - surely he would have risked life and limb by diving into the end zone for a touchdown in an intrasquad scrimmage - which is even more meaningless than a preseason game. Again, so embarrassing to hear Orton booed for that.
I honestly don't get why Tebow has such nationwide appeal - which stretches all the way to Denver, which is a long way from Florida. Part of this might be my fault - I don't waste my time watching college football, so I didn't know much about him until he showed up in Denver.
It seems that people like him because he's passionate about the game, he's competitive, he has a good work ethic, he's good-looking, he's a nice guy, and he's a vocal Christian. So I guess for all these reasons, his fans want to see him succeed in the NFL. And his most passionate fans believe he will succeed in the NFL. Starting, like right now.
That's my theory, anyways. Like Ben Wyatt, I don't get it. At all. I mean, a lot of players have been really good in college. I understand that the Broncos have been somewhat downtrodden in recent years, but come on. He's the backup quarterback. Maybe he'll end up being good, and maybe he won't. I don't know. No one knows. I don't understand why he's the most popular player on the team and why people all across the country are so interested in him.
Am I crazy?
In the episode, the department is preparing for the Pawnee Harvest Festival when Leslie Knope unveils a surprise - the famous mini-horse Li'l Sebastian - who will have his own booth at the festival. Everyone, including Ron Swanson, is simply beside themselves to be in the presence of Li'l Sebastian. That is, everyone except Ben Wyatt, the state auditor from Indianapolis who is helping Pawnee with their budget problems.
At the end of the episode, he starts faking it while talking to Leslie by Li'l Sebastian's pen. He tells Leslie, "He really is amazing. . . he's fantastic. I totally get it now."
And then, a few feet away, he tells the camera, "I don't get it - at all. It's kind of a small horse. I mean, what am I missing? Am I crazy?"
Pawnee is the Denver metro area. Ben Wyatt is me. And Li'l Sebastian is Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow won a Heisman Trophy and a national championship while quarterback at the University of Florida. Josh McDaniels spent a first-round draft choice on Tebow while he was coach of the Denver Broncos. The current controversy in Denver is whether Tebow will ever be a good pro quarterback.
Yet he is immensely popular. Fans LOVE them some Tebow. I think he had the highest selling jersey in the NFL last year - and was a rookie backup quarterback. If you go to any Broncos event, you will spot hundreds of no. 15 jerseys.
Yesterday, I took some of the kidlings to an annual Broncos event - the practice/scrimmage at the stadium. The first place we were sitting was about ten rows up from the field. After we first arrived, before any players were out on the field, a lady sitting behind us said, "I think when Tebow comes out, I'm going to faint."
We had to move to a shadier spot because the sun was unbelievably hot, but there were Tebow supporters everywhere. The first time Tebow came out to lead one of the drills as the quarterback, the crowd erupted with cheers. Remember, he's currently the backup quarterback. As a lifelong Broncos fan, I was quite embarrassed.
When starting QB Kyle Orton slid down at the end of a run near the end zone, he was loudly criticized by many fans sitting near us. Because Tebow would have not done that - surely he would have risked life and limb by diving into the end zone for a touchdown in an intrasquad scrimmage - which is even more meaningless than a preseason game. Again, so embarrassing to hear Orton booed for that.
I honestly don't get why Tebow has such nationwide appeal - which stretches all the way to Denver, which is a long way from Florida. Part of this might be my fault - I don't waste my time watching college football, so I didn't know much about him until he showed up in Denver.
It seems that people like him because he's passionate about the game, he's competitive, he has a good work ethic, he's good-looking, he's a nice guy, and he's a vocal Christian. So I guess for all these reasons, his fans want to see him succeed in the NFL. And his most passionate fans believe he will succeed in the NFL. Starting, like right now.
That's my theory, anyways. Like Ben Wyatt, I don't get it. At all. I mean, a lot of players have been really good in college. I understand that the Broncos have been somewhat downtrodden in recent years, but come on. He's the backup quarterback. Maybe he'll end up being good, and maybe he won't. I don't know. No one knows. I don't understand why he's the most popular player on the team and why people all across the country are so interested in him.
Am I crazy?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Don't Mean to Get All Churchy on Ya - 2nd ed.
The LDS version of the scriptures contains tons of cross-referencing footnotes. You won't find any cross references to actual events from modern church history, but wouldn't that be a fun project for a future edition?
I was reading in Alma 35 this week - again, I'm not much of a scriptorian, I mainly just read a few verses as the last thing I do each day - and was struck by a particular verse.
At this point, Alma and Amulek have just finished preaching to the Zoramites. There were a few believers, and after consulting together, the more popular part of the Zoramites decided to cast the believers out of the land. These people then came over to the land of Jershon, to dwell with the people of Ammon.
(For some reason, this majorly ticked off the Zoramites, who demanded that the people of Ammon also cast off these people. They refused, and it set off the series of wars that consume most of the remainder of the Book of Alma. I'm not sure exactly where the Zoramites expected them to go - but that's beside the point.)
This is what it says in Alma 35:9 regarding the behavior of the people of Ammon towards the Zoramites and their castoffs:
"And now the people of Ammon did not fear their words; therefore they did not cast them out, but they did receive all the poor of the Zoramites that came over unto them; and they did nourish them, and did clothe them, and did give unto them lands for their inheritance; and they did administer unto them according to their wants."
After reading this passage, I thought of the people of Quincy, Illinois, who in the winter of 1838-1839 received thousands of Mormons into their city. The Mormons had been driven from their homes in Missouri after an extermination order had been issued by the governor of Missouri. The Mormons were heading eastward to find a new place to settle - which of course, was eventually Nauvoo, 40 miles up the Mississippi River from Quincy. The parallels between the two stories are very interesting.
I haven't done a ton of research on this, so I'm not sure exactly sure of the background of the people who inhabited Quincy, Illinois in the mid-nineteenth century - what would cause them to respond with such charity to these Mormons refugees? We know a little more about the people of Ammon - they too had once been cast out of their land, so they were likely "paying it forward", and as is pointed out continously in the Book of Alma, they were something of a remarkable people anyways.
I don't know how much this sort of thing happens in our day - people nowadays seem to tend to respond negatively to dissimilar people showing up in their towns and cities - the tendency is to tell people to go back where they came from. So it's not an easy thing to do, being charitable.
It's also interesting to note that in 2002, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performed in Quincy as a way of repaying their good deeds. If that wasn't enough, the church also donated the proceeds from the concert to the city.
I was reading in Alma 35 this week - again, I'm not much of a scriptorian, I mainly just read a few verses as the last thing I do each day - and was struck by a particular verse.
At this point, Alma and Amulek have just finished preaching to the Zoramites. There were a few believers, and after consulting together, the more popular part of the Zoramites decided to cast the believers out of the land. These people then came over to the land of Jershon, to dwell with the people of Ammon.
(For some reason, this majorly ticked off the Zoramites, who demanded that the people of Ammon also cast off these people. They refused, and it set off the series of wars that consume most of the remainder of the Book of Alma. I'm not sure exactly where the Zoramites expected them to go - but that's beside the point.)
This is what it says in Alma 35:9 regarding the behavior of the people of Ammon towards the Zoramites and their castoffs:
"And now the people of Ammon did not fear their words; therefore they did not cast them out, but they did receive all the poor of the Zoramites that came over unto them; and they did nourish them, and did clothe them, and did give unto them lands for their inheritance; and they did administer unto them according to their wants."
After reading this passage, I thought of the people of Quincy, Illinois, who in the winter of 1838-1839 received thousands of Mormons into their city. The Mormons had been driven from their homes in Missouri after an extermination order had been issued by the governor of Missouri. The Mormons were heading eastward to find a new place to settle - which of course, was eventually Nauvoo, 40 miles up the Mississippi River from Quincy. The parallels between the two stories are very interesting.
I haven't done a ton of research on this, so I'm not sure exactly sure of the background of the people who inhabited Quincy, Illinois in the mid-nineteenth century - what would cause them to respond with such charity to these Mormons refugees? We know a little more about the people of Ammon - they too had once been cast out of their land, so they were likely "paying it forward", and as is pointed out continously in the Book of Alma, they were something of a remarkable people anyways.
I don't know how much this sort of thing happens in our day - people nowadays seem to tend to respond negatively to dissimilar people showing up in their towns and cities - the tendency is to tell people to go back where they came from. So it's not an easy thing to do, being charitable.
It's also interesting to note that in 2002, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performed in Quincy as a way of repaying their good deeds. If that wasn't enough, the church also donated the proceeds from the concert to the city.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Associate This
The Associate by John Grisham. Every couple of years, I like to remind myself why I stopped reading his books. And this one was a really good reminder.
I was a big fan back in the nineties, when he first came out. I read all the books, watched most of the movies. But the stuff he writes now is so. . . different. In the last couple of books of his I've read, it seems like when the time comes for the crap to hit the fan, he just flushes the crap instead. Sure, it's nice and clean, but not nearly as exciting. Nowadays, he seems far more interested in preaching his ideals on the legal profession than in writing actual thrillers.
The Associate is Kyle McAvoy. A different name, but basically the same character that stars in every Grisham novel. A wet-behind-the-ears kid, fresh out of law school, who has to take on the world and figure out how to outsmart everyone. He's Mitch McDeere, he's Darby Shaw, he's Rudy Baylor.
Kyle is just finishing up law school at Yale and is planning to work for a public-interest firm after graduation when a bad guy surfaces with a video, secretly taken by a cell phone, which reveals the badwy details of a drunken frat party five years earlier. The video contains evidence that a couple of Kyle's buddies had relations with a girl who may have been unconcious at the time. Although the video contains no evidence than Kyle did anything worse than dancing in the nude, he's shaken that the evidence exists.
The bad guy offers Kyle a deal. In exchange for keeping the video and the potential rape allegation under wraps, Kyle must accept a position in New York City with the largest law firm in the world and steal documents related to a gigantic lawsuit between two defense contractors. High-stakes blackmail!
The first few pages of this book are great, and I admit that I was immediately sucked into the plot. The pace slows as the book progresses. The bad guys patiently wait for the chance to have Kyle make a move. Meanwhile, Kyle spends most of his time trying to figure out how to outsmart them while also being the hardest working first-year associate at the firm.
I don't know that the bad guys were actually super hard to outsmart. They actually seemed a little lame to me. When Kyle started his job, they demanded a look at his company-issued laptop and phone. He refused to do so, and they never bothered him about it again. Seems like pretty lame surveillance to me.
***SPOILER ALERT (IF YOU CARE)***
Somehow, Kyle manages to hire a lawyer, who notifies the FBI. They organize an operation to catch the bad guy when Kyle brings stolen files to him. But the bad guy somehow gets wind of it and disappears. And that's it. They don't catch him. So, who was this bad guy? Who was he working for? Why did they want the files? Where did he get the cell phone video? How did he know the FBI was coming for him?
NONE of these questions get answered. Grisham suggests a bunch of possibilities, but I guess decides to let the reader ponder them eternally. It seems like maybe he wrote himself into a corner and said, "Ah, screw it, I can't figure this out either. The end."
***END OF SPOILER ALERT (IF YOU CARE)***
I'm not the only one who feels this way. Reviewers on Amazon were furious about this one. They can't figure out why he would just decide not to write the end of the book. There won't be a sequel, because who would buy it? Most people seem to think that Grisham is so rich he doesn't really care about pleasing the reader anymore. Others are speculating that The Associate was (gasp) ghostwritten.
I'm glad that I checked this out at the library. Some folks actually paid full cover price to read it.
I was a big fan back in the nineties, when he first came out. I read all the books, watched most of the movies. But the stuff he writes now is so. . . different. In the last couple of books of his I've read, it seems like when the time comes for the crap to hit the fan, he just flushes the crap instead. Sure, it's nice and clean, but not nearly as exciting. Nowadays, he seems far more interested in preaching his ideals on the legal profession than in writing actual thrillers.
The Associate is Kyle McAvoy. A different name, but basically the same character that stars in every Grisham novel. A wet-behind-the-ears kid, fresh out of law school, who has to take on the world and figure out how to outsmart everyone. He's Mitch McDeere, he's Darby Shaw, he's Rudy Baylor.
Kyle is just finishing up law school at Yale and is planning to work for a public-interest firm after graduation when a bad guy surfaces with a video, secretly taken by a cell phone, which reveals the badwy details of a drunken frat party five years earlier. The video contains evidence that a couple of Kyle's buddies had relations with a girl who may have been unconcious at the time. Although the video contains no evidence than Kyle did anything worse than dancing in the nude, he's shaken that the evidence exists.
The bad guy offers Kyle a deal. In exchange for keeping the video and the potential rape allegation under wraps, Kyle must accept a position in New York City with the largest law firm in the world and steal documents related to a gigantic lawsuit between two defense contractors. High-stakes blackmail!
The first few pages of this book are great, and I admit that I was immediately sucked into the plot. The pace slows as the book progresses. The bad guys patiently wait for the chance to have Kyle make a move. Meanwhile, Kyle spends most of his time trying to figure out how to outsmart them while also being the hardest working first-year associate at the firm.
I don't know that the bad guys were actually super hard to outsmart. They actually seemed a little lame to me. When Kyle started his job, they demanded a look at his company-issued laptop and phone. He refused to do so, and they never bothered him about it again. Seems like pretty lame surveillance to me.
***SPOILER ALERT (IF YOU CARE)***
Somehow, Kyle manages to hire a lawyer, who notifies the FBI. They organize an operation to catch the bad guy when Kyle brings stolen files to him. But the bad guy somehow gets wind of it and disappears. And that's it. They don't catch him. So, who was this bad guy? Who was he working for? Why did they want the files? Where did he get the cell phone video? How did he know the FBI was coming for him?
NONE of these questions get answered. Grisham suggests a bunch of possibilities, but I guess decides to let the reader ponder them eternally. It seems like maybe he wrote himself into a corner and said, "Ah, screw it, I can't figure this out either. The end."
***END OF SPOILER ALERT (IF YOU CARE)***
I'm not the only one who feels this way. Reviewers on Amazon were furious about this one. They can't figure out why he would just decide not to write the end of the book. There won't be a sequel, because who would buy it? Most people seem to think that Grisham is so rich he doesn't really care about pleasing the reader anymore. Others are speculating that The Associate was (gasp) ghostwritten.
I'm glad that I checked this out at the library. Some folks actually paid full cover price to read it.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Holy Crow, Batman!
I've been reading more books than usual this summer. A couple of camping trips have helped, also waiting for the scout meetings to get out, and sitting by a child as he makes the transition to sleeping in a toddler bed. Anyways, I feel compelled to let you know what I've been reading. I'm not sure why.
The Mist of Quarry Harbor by Liz Adair. I picked this little number up over at the Goodwill, for a buck. It's published by Deseret Book, and yes, all of the main characters are LDS.
The main character is Cassie Van Cleeve. She's smoking hot, completely self-sufficient, and single as the book opens. It's important to note that she's not single because no one's interested. She has to fend off a pesky marriage proposal within the first 20 pages of the book. Later, a casual FHE basketball game leads to fisticuffs between her two suitors. She eventually makes a choice, although her emotional and mental abilities in the face of a little romance reminds one of Bella Swan.
But that's not the main part of the book. Cassie's questionable judgment when it comes to men eventually lands her on an island in the Puget Sound, where she begins searching for clues to her husband's mysterious past. It's a decent mystery, although not really a page-turner. There's a lot of boat talk, which can get a little boring if you're not a boating enthusiast. Most readers should be able to figure the big twist out before it is revealed in the book.
The writing is a little awkward in places and the dialogue often doesn't sound like something a person would say in the 21st century. At one point when Cassie needs to leave, she says that she had "better get to whistling." Another character frequently exclaims, "Holy Crow!" And one of the strangest parts of the book was when the author attempted to chastely describe Cassie's wedding night. It was quite vague, to the point where you weren't sure if she was talking about sex or describing an alien abduction.
As an LDS person, you kind of have to suspend your disbelief a little bit for the book to make sense. Which I guess is fine, because it's fiction. The character of Cassie isn't really internally consistent. Right off the bat, we're told that she went through three sets of missionaries before she was sure she wanted to join the church. And then a few pages later, she's diving into a marriage with a guy without any due diligence whatsoever. The author probably realized this and danced around it by making Cassie a member of only six months, thus not yet eligible for a temple marriage. Because if you're not getting married in the temple, it's okay to just go for it.
But without the random marriage, there's no mystery, and no book. So if you read it, just sit back and don't think too hard about it.
The Mist of Quarry Harbor by Liz Adair. I picked this little number up over at the Goodwill, for a buck. It's published by Deseret Book, and yes, all of the main characters are LDS.
The main character is Cassie Van Cleeve. She's smoking hot, completely self-sufficient, and single as the book opens. It's important to note that she's not single because no one's interested. She has to fend off a pesky marriage proposal within the first 20 pages of the book. Later, a casual FHE basketball game leads to fisticuffs between her two suitors. She eventually makes a choice, although her emotional and mental abilities in the face of a little romance reminds one of Bella Swan.
But that's not the main part of the book. Cassie's questionable judgment when it comes to men eventually lands her on an island in the Puget Sound, where she begins searching for clues to her husband's mysterious past. It's a decent mystery, although not really a page-turner. There's a lot of boat talk, which can get a little boring if you're not a boating enthusiast. Most readers should be able to figure the big twist out before it is revealed in the book.
The writing is a little awkward in places and the dialogue often doesn't sound like something a person would say in the 21st century. At one point when Cassie needs to leave, she says that she had "better get to whistling." Another character frequently exclaims, "Holy Crow!" And one of the strangest parts of the book was when the author attempted to chastely describe Cassie's wedding night. It was quite vague, to the point where you weren't sure if she was talking about sex or describing an alien abduction.
As an LDS person, you kind of have to suspend your disbelief a little bit for the book to make sense. Which I guess is fine, because it's fiction. The character of Cassie isn't really internally consistent. Right off the bat, we're told that she went through three sets of missionaries before she was sure she wanted to join the church. And then a few pages later, she's diving into a marriage with a guy without any due diligence whatsoever. The author probably realized this and danced around it by making Cassie a member of only six months, thus not yet eligible for a temple marriage. Because if you're not getting married in the temple, it's okay to just go for it.
But without the random marriage, there's no mystery, and no book. So if you read it, just sit back and don't think too hard about it.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Where Was I When
So last Friday was the 17th anniversary of the O.J. Simpson car chase. Some guys on this podcast I was listening to earlier this week were doing the whole "where were you?" thing regarding that evening.
I do remember that night - my story is kind of boring, though. I was at home, a high school graduate of about three weeks, watching the whole thing unfold on television on a split-screen with the NBA Finals.
That's not the main point of this post, though. I started wondering after thinking about the O.J. thing - what are the other significant news events where I can remember exactly where I was when I heard about it?
Challenger space shuttle explosion. This is probably the first significant one I remember. I was in the fourth grade and we had just settled into our chairs in Mr. Towers' room after lunch when he told us the bad news. It was significant to me because astronomy was one of my big interests at the time, and Mr. Towers was an astronomy buff - I attended many a "star party" thrown by that man. We had been talking a lot about the Challenger thing and Christa McAuliffe, the teacher in space, leading up to the launch. I think there were probably some exciting Challenger-related classroom activities planned for the afternoon of January 28, 1986. So it was pretty shocking for a 10-year-old kid to find out - uh, that thing we were so excited about happening - well, it just had the worst possible ending. Interesting detail of this story is that Mr. Towers found out the news from my dad, who I guess had seen it on TV and gone down to the school to deliver the bad news. How times have changed. . .
Magic Johnson HIV positive. This one is kind of random, but I do remember pulling up to the house after returning from yet another trip to Alamosa, when the DJ mentioned between songs on KOB-FM out of Albuquerque that Magic had the AIDS virus and was retiring from the NBA. Happy, smiling, Magic Johnson? AIDS? What? But he's still around so I guess that worked out okay in the end.
Death of Ezra Taft Benson. I was delivering newspapers early morning at the time. I put the bundled stack in the car, picked the first one up, and there it was, below the fold on the front page of the Pueblo Chieftain.
Death of Howard W. Hunter. I was in the laundromat of the MTC in Provo when a member of the MTC Presidency got on the intercom and announced that President Hunter had passed away. We got on a plane a few days later for Seattle, and on my second day in the mission, I watched the funeral at the Silverdale Washington stake center.
Death of Gordon B. Hinckley. I might as well throw this in as long as we're doing the prophets, although it's kind of a lame story. I actually didn't hear that President Hinckley had passed away until two days later, and I believe I got the news from an LDS Living e-mail. I had to look up to see what I was doing at the time that woud have left me in the dark for 48 hours. I was working at a client, without internet access, and I believe I was fighting a cold. So that makes sense, I guess.
World Trade Center Attack. I was in my last semester at BYU. Elizabeth had a temporary job at the BYU employment office, so she had already left. I was at home in our Wymount apartment, getting ready for class and probably thinking about our third anniversary date for that evening - we had a sitter lined up. Elizabeth calls and tells me to turn on the television because we were under attack. And I was all "what?" and so I turned it on, I think just before one of the towers collapsed.
Assassination of JFK. Well, let's see, I was a premortal spirit and I was attending a farewell service for this guy Richard, who was going down to be born that afternoon, when this girl runs in and tells us that the president was shot. . . seriously, what were we doing?
Well, this post didn't turn out to be as interesting as I thought it might. So, sorry about that. On a positive note, I just ate a delicious orange.
I do remember that night - my story is kind of boring, though. I was at home, a high school graduate of about three weeks, watching the whole thing unfold on television on a split-screen with the NBA Finals.
That's not the main point of this post, though. I started wondering after thinking about the O.J. thing - what are the other significant news events where I can remember exactly where I was when I heard about it?
Challenger space shuttle explosion. This is probably the first significant one I remember. I was in the fourth grade and we had just settled into our chairs in Mr. Towers' room after lunch when he told us the bad news. It was significant to me because astronomy was one of my big interests at the time, and Mr. Towers was an astronomy buff - I attended many a "star party" thrown by that man. We had been talking a lot about the Challenger thing and Christa McAuliffe, the teacher in space, leading up to the launch. I think there were probably some exciting Challenger-related classroom activities planned for the afternoon of January 28, 1986. So it was pretty shocking for a 10-year-old kid to find out - uh, that thing we were so excited about happening - well, it just had the worst possible ending. Interesting detail of this story is that Mr. Towers found out the news from my dad, who I guess had seen it on TV and gone down to the school to deliver the bad news. How times have changed. . .
Magic Johnson HIV positive. This one is kind of random, but I do remember pulling up to the house after returning from yet another trip to Alamosa, when the DJ mentioned between songs on KOB-FM out of Albuquerque that Magic had the AIDS virus and was retiring from the NBA. Happy, smiling, Magic Johnson? AIDS? What? But he's still around so I guess that worked out okay in the end.
Death of Ezra Taft Benson. I was delivering newspapers early morning at the time. I put the bundled stack in the car, picked the first one up, and there it was, below the fold on the front page of the Pueblo Chieftain.
Death of Howard W. Hunter. I was in the laundromat of the MTC in Provo when a member of the MTC Presidency got on the intercom and announced that President Hunter had passed away. We got on a plane a few days later for Seattle, and on my second day in the mission, I watched the funeral at the Silverdale Washington stake center.
Death of Gordon B. Hinckley. I might as well throw this in as long as we're doing the prophets, although it's kind of a lame story. I actually didn't hear that President Hinckley had passed away until two days later, and I believe I got the news from an LDS Living e-mail. I had to look up to see what I was doing at the time that woud have left me in the dark for 48 hours. I was working at a client, without internet access, and I believe I was fighting a cold. So that makes sense, I guess.
World Trade Center Attack. I was in my last semester at BYU. Elizabeth had a temporary job at the BYU employment office, so she had already left. I was at home in our Wymount apartment, getting ready for class and probably thinking about our third anniversary date for that evening - we had a sitter lined up. Elizabeth calls and tells me to turn on the television because we were under attack. And I was all "what?" and so I turned it on, I think just before one of the towers collapsed.
Assassination of JFK. Well, let's see, I was a premortal spirit and I was attending a farewell service for this guy Richard, who was going down to be born that afternoon, when this girl runs in and tells us that the president was shot. . . seriously, what were we doing?
Well, this post didn't turn out to be as interesting as I thought it might. So, sorry about that. On a positive note, I just ate a delicious orange.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
13 Restaurant Reviews in One
I recently finished a stint of working 13 consecutive Saturdays. It's not the most fun, but that's the job.
One of the perks of all the weekend labor is that we get treated to a free lunch every Saturday. Sometimes we go out, but that can take a long time, especially with a large group of 8-10 people. So as we get towards the March/April crunch time, there is a lot more ordering in, which can be just as good. I decided this year that it would be a good idea to rank the various visits, because 1) I love ranking stuff and 2) I really want to contribute to the Southeast Denver dining scene.
So here goes, worst to first:
13) Rodney's at Tamarac Square. If you've never eaten here, well, you missed your chance. It closed as they prepare to bulldoze Tamarac Square to make way for Super Target. We went on the last Saturday they were open. Not a good idea, by the way, because there's not a lot of incentive for employees to provide good service. All of the burgers were undercooked, even after we waited 45 minutes.
12) Honey Baked Ham. Pretty unspectacular. We get sandwiches from there. I can't even remember what I ordered.
11) Panera Bread. It's popular, but I've never been super impressed with them. I'd never spend my own money there. It seems like they spend more time thinking up exotic ingredient names than they do making good food. It could also be that I'm not cool enough to eat here.
10) Crown Burger. This is kind of a joke place we go to. Not healthy at all, and not very clean or attractive. The burgers aren't that good - quality of ingredients are lacking. The fries and shakes are good though. Plus they serve fry sauce.
9) New York Deli News. I didn't get the pun at first - think about it. It was my first visit. Tons of different sandwich offerings. I think I went with the french dip - my default sandwich. They give you a A LOT of fries. Maybe too many.
8) Happy Teriyaki. Normally, this would be in the top five. But I decided to try something new this time - bulgoki, some sort of marinated beef concoction. It was okay, but I didn't enjoy it as much as the teriyaki/tonkatsu, which is what I usually like to get. Thus the low ranking.
7) Fresh Fish Company. I'm probably a little biased in that I don't really like seafood, so it would be hard for them to get up very high on my list. I ordered the fish and chips, which were pretty good. But by the time you get to the last fillet, it starts getting really. . . well, fishy tasting.
6) Cocina de Marcos. I usually don't like this Mexican place as much, but it was better this year. Or maybe I was just hungrier.
5) Pizza Hut. You can't really go wrong with Pizza Hut. Unless you order that cracker-crust crap they sell.
4) Piccolo's. We usually order in various pans of good stuff - spaghetti, enchiladas, lasagna, garlic bread, salad. It's all good, and there is something to be said for variety. It's like buffet-to-go.
3) Famous Dave's. I'm not a huge bbq person, but if I was ranking these based strictly on meal size, this would be #1. The item I ordered came with some Georgia que, Texas brisket, three St. Louis ribs, a roll, potato salad, and cole slaw. It's no wonder obesity is a problem in this country.
2) Thai Basil. Orange beef. Yum. Even the vegetables were good.
1) Panache Catering. I wasn't really expecting much from this place - I thought it would be the same type of underwhelming sandwich that Panera and HBH serve. Wrong. This may very well have been the best sandwich I ever had in my life. I ordered the rare roast beef. Phenomenal.
One of the perks of all the weekend labor is that we get treated to a free lunch every Saturday. Sometimes we go out, but that can take a long time, especially with a large group of 8-10 people. So as we get towards the March/April crunch time, there is a lot more ordering in, which can be just as good. I decided this year that it would be a good idea to rank the various visits, because 1) I love ranking stuff and 2) I really want to contribute to the Southeast Denver dining scene.
So here goes, worst to first:
13) Rodney's at Tamarac Square. If you've never eaten here, well, you missed your chance. It closed as they prepare to bulldoze Tamarac Square to make way for Super Target. We went on the last Saturday they were open. Not a good idea, by the way, because there's not a lot of incentive for employees to provide good service. All of the burgers were undercooked, even after we waited 45 minutes.
12) Honey Baked Ham. Pretty unspectacular. We get sandwiches from there. I can't even remember what I ordered.
11) Panera Bread. It's popular, but I've never been super impressed with them. I'd never spend my own money there. It seems like they spend more time thinking up exotic ingredient names than they do making good food. It could also be that I'm not cool enough to eat here.
10) Crown Burger. This is kind of a joke place we go to. Not healthy at all, and not very clean or attractive. The burgers aren't that good - quality of ingredients are lacking. The fries and shakes are good though. Plus they serve fry sauce.
9) New York Deli News. I didn't get the pun at first - think about it. It was my first visit. Tons of different sandwich offerings. I think I went with the french dip - my default sandwich. They give you a A LOT of fries. Maybe too many.
8) Happy Teriyaki. Normally, this would be in the top five. But I decided to try something new this time - bulgoki, some sort of marinated beef concoction. It was okay, but I didn't enjoy it as much as the teriyaki/tonkatsu, which is what I usually like to get. Thus the low ranking.
7) Fresh Fish Company. I'm probably a little biased in that I don't really like seafood, so it would be hard for them to get up very high on my list. I ordered the fish and chips, which were pretty good. But by the time you get to the last fillet, it starts getting really. . . well, fishy tasting.
6) Cocina de Marcos. I usually don't like this Mexican place as much, but it was better this year. Or maybe I was just hungrier.
5) Pizza Hut. You can't really go wrong with Pizza Hut. Unless you order that cracker-crust crap they sell.
4) Piccolo's. We usually order in various pans of good stuff - spaghetti, enchiladas, lasagna, garlic bread, salad. It's all good, and there is something to be said for variety. It's like buffet-to-go.
3) Famous Dave's. I'm not a huge bbq person, but if I was ranking these based strictly on meal size, this would be #1. The item I ordered came with some Georgia que, Texas brisket, three St. Louis ribs, a roll, potato salad, and cole slaw. It's no wonder obesity is a problem in this country.
2) Thai Basil. Orange beef. Yum. Even the vegetables were good.
1) Panache Catering. I wasn't really expecting much from this place - I thought it would be the same type of underwhelming sandwich that Panera and HBH serve. Wrong. This may very well have been the best sandwich I ever had in my life. I ordered the rare roast beef. Phenomenal.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Tall Tales
As a young boy, I had a friend who was pretty good at storytelling. For some reason, I still remember a couple of the best ones.
One of our funnest summer activities was playing baseball. One time he told me the history of his baseball. Apparently, his neighbor across the street had been a major league umpire back in the 1920s and had picked up a stray baseball after a game and saved it for 50 years until he bequeathed it to my friend. And this was the ball we played with back behind his house.
Another time he was telling me about a dog he had once owned, an exemplary canine. He used to hitch his wagon to the dog and have the dog pull him around. Then one day a guy in a Ferrari came by the house and wanted to race or something. And although it was close, the dog did in fact outrun the Ferrari while pulling my friend in a wagon.
Even at seven or eight or however old we were, I think my BS Meter was pretty well calibrated. I didn't call my friend on it at the time, but I even at that age I could detect how illogical the stories were. Dude, I've known you practically your whole life. Wouldn't you have told me about this race-dog before now?!? And why don't we go over and visit your umpire friend who has retired to the middle of nowhere? Maybe he can regale us with stories of the Babe.
I'm not sure why I still remember these stories, but they sure are funny.
One of our funnest summer activities was playing baseball. One time he told me the history of his baseball. Apparently, his neighbor across the street had been a major league umpire back in the 1920s and had picked up a stray baseball after a game and saved it for 50 years until he bequeathed it to my friend. And this was the ball we played with back behind his house.
Another time he was telling me about a dog he had once owned, an exemplary canine. He used to hitch his wagon to the dog and have the dog pull him around. Then one day a guy in a Ferrari came by the house and wanted to race or something. And although it was close, the dog did in fact outrun the Ferrari while pulling my friend in a wagon.
Even at seven or eight or however old we were, I think my BS Meter was pretty well calibrated. I didn't call my friend on it at the time, but I even at that age I could detect how illogical the stories were. Dude, I've known you practically your whole life. Wouldn't you have told me about this race-dog before now?!? And why don't we go over and visit your umpire friend who has retired to the middle of nowhere? Maybe he can regale us with stories of the Babe.
I'm not sure why I still remember these stories, but they sure are funny.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Another Borders Bargain
I saw this at the aforementioned Borders clearance sale for $3 in the Biography/Memoir seciton. So I had to get it - you know, because "Mormon" was in the title.
For starters, it's not about a regional singles Halloween dance at all - that's just one of the many settings in the book. It's the tale of a young, single, Mormon girl living in New York City who is trying to figure out her life. She has no apparent claim to fame, at least not until the book was published. Just your typical twentysomething Mormon writing a memoir.
One thing I find interesting is that whenever a member of the Church is mentioned in the media, they are almost always described as a "devout Mormon". If I were famous, would I be called devout?
I don't think that Elna Baker should be described as devout, but what do I know? I only read the book. She seems to have a testimony of the gospel, but is also enticed by the adventure and excitement offered by some of the other avenues in life. I gave her some benefit of the doubt, because she notes that she spent part of her childhood living in the Sumner/Bonney Lake area of Washington. Although we never crossed paths, I served four months of my mission there, so we did have at least one thing in common, in addition to being members of the church.
I think there should be more books like this one - real Mormons writing about their faith and their perspective on things. I don't want to read about what you've researched or what you think you know that is going to change my life. Just tell me about you. That's what I liked about this book.
It takes a certain amount of courage to write such a book - Ms. Baker deserves points for being open and honest about her life and her thoughts on the tenets of her religion. I think most Mormons probably have certain aspects of the church that they haven't quite reconciled. Which is totally fine, because that's what this life is all about. But I think most people prefer to keep their doubts and weaknesses to themselves, because who wants the rest of the ward looking at you with a wary eye? She pretty much just goes for it - putting it all out there for anyone she's ever known to read.
I appreciate that she doesn't seem to blame the church for her difficulties. A path that has been traveled before is, "I have a hard time living x principle or believing y doctrine, so check ya later. It's not true." She seemed to acknowledge that it was the right way to go but wasn't sure if she wanted it for herself.
I don't know if this paragraph counts as a spoiler, but if it does, you've been forewarned. You're kind of hoping that by the end of the book she figures it out. But she doesn't. Even finally finding an acceptable Mormon guy who is interested in her doesn't do the trick. There's no triumph of faith. There's no white wedding. By the end of the book, she's still indecisive and seems to be leaning the other way.
The book was not exactly written for the LDS reader. There's a fair amount of profanity, and yes, she does spell out all the f-words. A lot of making out and "playing with matches" takes place.
I will say that it did inspire me to write a memoir. Certainly there are things that happened in my life that are at least as notable as what Ms. Baker has going on.
If only I had the time. . .
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Curse of the Second Round
You have to love the NFL draft. My favorite part is when the experts say - hey, you can't evaluate how a team did in a particular draft for three or four years. And then everyone proceeds to grade and evaluate every team's draft anyways.
I guess I'm happy enough with what the Broncos did in the 2011 draft. I'm pleased that they didn't draft any quarterbacks, running backs, or wide receivers. Also that they didn't do a bunch of stupid wacky trades a la Josh McD.
Hopefully they picked up a future Pro Bowler in Von Miller with the #2 pick. It's a pretty safe bet that he will be at least decent.
But I think the success of this draft will hinge on how their back-to-back picks in the second round turn out - safety Rahim Moore and offensive lineman Orlando Franklin. If they spent the better part of the next decade in a Bronco uniform, then this draft will probably get an A. If they don't, then the Broncos had better hope one of their late-round picks turns out to be another Shannon Sharpe or Karl Mecklenburg.
I've harped on how crappy the Broncos have done in the draft in recent years - a lot of this is due to how they've picked in the second round.
I did a quick review of the 27 second-round picks the Broncos have made in the past 25 years (1986-2010). Here's the roll call:
Gerald Perry (1988)
Doug Widell (1989)
Warren Powers (1989)
Alton Montgomery (1990)
Reggie Johnson (1991)
Shane Dronett (1992)
Glyn Milburn (1993)
Allen Alridge (1994)
Tory James (1996)
Eric Brown (1998)
Montae Reagor (1999)
Lennie Friedman (1999)
Ian Gold (2000)
Kenoy Kennedy (2000)
Paul Toviessi (2001)
Clinton Portis (2002)
Terry Pierce (2003)
Tatum Bell (2004)
Darius Watts (2004)
Darrent Williams (2005)
Tony Scheffler (2006)
Tim Crowder (2007)
Eddie Royal (2008)
Alphonso Smith (2009)
Darcel McBath (2009)
Richard Quinn (2009)
Zane Beadles (2010)
Not a single Hall of Famer on the list, and only three Pro Bowls: Ian Gold, Glyn Milburn, and Clinton Portis earned one appearance each.
Only four are still with the team: Eddie Royal, Darcel McBath, Richard Quinn, and Zane Beadles. And so far the greatest contribution any of them have made to Denver may very well be Eddie Royal's Taco Bell commercial.
Only two players on this list spent more than four years in a Bronco uniform. Ironically, they were both selected in the same draft. Ian Gold played 7 years in Denver and Kenoy Kennedy played 5 years.
The best second-round pick of the last quarter-century came in 2002, when they selected Clinton Portis, who had two sensational years in Denver before he was traded to Washington for Champ Bailey. So I suppose it could be argued that the Broncos did get a Hall of Famer for their second-round pick in that instance.
The Broncos did okay in the second round in the 1990s, picking up guys like Shane Dronett, Allen Alridge, and Lennie Friedman, who did okay.
But in the last 10 years they've blown second round picks on guys who were total busts: Paul Toviessi, Terry Pierce, Darius Watts, and Tim Crowder.
Darrent Williams looked like a good second-round pick - up until the night he was murdered.
Tatum Bell and Tony Scheffler were good players, but for whatever reason team management did not seem to want them.
Possibly the worst, though, came in 2009 when Josh McD traded a first-round pick in order to select Alphonso Smith in the second round. And then traded him for a bag of clean towels a year later.
So I'm hoping with this new Broncos regime that they can get back to drafting the second round like they did in the 1980s, when they picked up guys like Rulon Jones, Vance Johnson, and Simon Fletcher.
I guess I'm happy enough with what the Broncos did in the 2011 draft. I'm pleased that they didn't draft any quarterbacks, running backs, or wide receivers. Also that they didn't do a bunch of stupid wacky trades a la Josh McD.
Hopefully they picked up a future Pro Bowler in Von Miller with the #2 pick. It's a pretty safe bet that he will be at least decent.
But I think the success of this draft will hinge on how their back-to-back picks in the second round turn out - safety Rahim Moore and offensive lineman Orlando Franklin. If they spent the better part of the next decade in a Bronco uniform, then this draft will probably get an A. If they don't, then the Broncos had better hope one of their late-round picks turns out to be another Shannon Sharpe or Karl Mecklenburg.
I've harped on how crappy the Broncos have done in the draft in recent years - a lot of this is due to how they've picked in the second round.
I did a quick review of the 27 second-round picks the Broncos have made in the past 25 years (1986-2010). Here's the roll call:
Gerald Perry (1988)
Doug Widell (1989)
Warren Powers (1989)
Alton Montgomery (1990)
Reggie Johnson (1991)
Shane Dronett (1992)
Glyn Milburn (1993)
Allen Alridge (1994)
Tory James (1996)
Eric Brown (1998)
Montae Reagor (1999)
Lennie Friedman (1999)
Ian Gold (2000)
Kenoy Kennedy (2000)
Paul Toviessi (2001)
Clinton Portis (2002)
Terry Pierce (2003)
Tatum Bell (2004)
Darius Watts (2004)
Darrent Williams (2005)
Tony Scheffler (2006)
Tim Crowder (2007)
Eddie Royal (2008)
Alphonso Smith (2009)
Darcel McBath (2009)
Richard Quinn (2009)
Zane Beadles (2010)
Not a single Hall of Famer on the list, and only three Pro Bowls: Ian Gold, Glyn Milburn, and Clinton Portis earned one appearance each.
Only four are still with the team: Eddie Royal, Darcel McBath, Richard Quinn, and Zane Beadles. And so far the greatest contribution any of them have made to Denver may very well be Eddie Royal's Taco Bell commercial.
Only two players on this list spent more than four years in a Bronco uniform. Ironically, they were both selected in the same draft. Ian Gold played 7 years in Denver and Kenoy Kennedy played 5 years.
The best second-round pick of the last quarter-century came in 2002, when they selected Clinton Portis, who had two sensational years in Denver before he was traded to Washington for Champ Bailey. So I suppose it could be argued that the Broncos did get a Hall of Famer for their second-round pick in that instance.
The Broncos did okay in the second round in the 1990s, picking up guys like Shane Dronett, Allen Alridge, and Lennie Friedman, who did okay.
But in the last 10 years they've blown second round picks on guys who were total busts: Paul Toviessi, Terry Pierce, Darius Watts, and Tim Crowder.
Darrent Williams looked like a good second-round pick - up until the night he was murdered.
Tatum Bell and Tony Scheffler were good players, but for whatever reason team management did not seem to want them.
Possibly the worst, though, came in 2009 when Josh McD traded a first-round pick in order to select Alphonso Smith in the second round. And then traded him for a bag of clean towels a year later.
So I'm hoping with this new Broncos regime that they can get back to drafting the second round like they did in the 1980s, when they picked up guys like Rulon Jones, Vance Johnson, and Simon Fletcher.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Not a Good Book
Are you an aspiring author who lacks confidence that your manuscript can cut the mustard with a publisher?
Read Empty, by Suzanne Weyn.
And feel your confidence in your work become Full.
If this can get published, then surely you can!
I've always lived under the assumption that an author submits a manuscript and then the editor reads it and suggests revisions. I get the impression that in this case, they ran spell check and decided it was good to go.
Our local Borders went belly and so they had a several-weeks clearance sale. I usually never buy books unless I know exactly what I'm buying. But I couldn't resist picking up a few random titles at discount prices. This book looked intriguing sitting in the YA fiction section at 60% off. Maybe the fact that there were roughly 50 other available copies should have tipped me off that this was not a sought-after volume.
It's set about ten years in the future, and the citizens of the earth are coming to the realization that the world's oil supply is almost gone. I'm not really a huge environmentalist or anything, but it could make for an interesting enough story, right?
I think the author simply tried to accomplish too much in 250 pages. To really make her idea work, it probably needed to be a three book series. But she was probably worried that once they figured out she wasn't a fiction writer, they wouldn't publish a second or third book. So it all got crammed into one book.
It's told from the point of view of three teens in a New England town. There's Tom, your garden variety teen boy who's handsome, muscular, and sensitive. There's Niki, your stereotypical hottie cheerleader who has been spoiled by her parents. And there's Gwen, the Goth chick with black hair who lives on the edge and is a little bit ahead of the curve when it comes to smart energy. There's also a Hispanic kid who lives in a trailer. I forget his name - we'll call him Carlos for the purposes of this review.
In the book, oil prices are around $100 a gallon. A bunch of teens get in an all-out brawl because the rival school gets caught siphoning gas from their cars. Gwen's house burns down becasue her rebel brother is storing black market fuel in milk cartons. Niki's dad goes on a rampage and shatters an antique chair and throws it in the fire place because he can't get a job in the distressed economy. And then things get real bad when the superhurricane hits.
The book is basically green energy propaganda poorly disguised as fiction. It reads like a pamphlet with quotation marks and characters randomly inserted to make it seem like a story.
There's the romantic subplots. Carlos likes Gwen. Gwen likes Tom. Tom likes Niki. Niki likes herself. As the book progresses, Niki starts to like Tom but is worried that Tom might like Gwen. She also might still like her old boyfriend after the high oil prices mellow him out. Tom starts to like Gwen, but is worried that Carlos and Gwen have something going. Gwen likes Carlos, but only as a friend, and tells him as much. It's not really clear how that whole situation resolves itself, although we're led to believe that Tom and Gwen end up together. But the whole thing is so boring that you don't really care.
This book has continuity errors galore. And I'm a stickler for continuity. If you're too lazy to write your book so that it makes sense, why should I bother to listen to any of the ideas you put forth?
The good news is, you'll be glad to know that everything ends up just fine in the future after we run out of oil. So no worries!
NOTE: I skipped adding a spoiler alert, because you don't care. Trust me.
I've already given this book away to the YW garage sale, and some other sucka probably paid good money for it - or maybe they didn't and it's on a Goodwill shelf somewhere.
Read Empty, by Suzanne Weyn.
And feel your confidence in your work become Full.
If this can get published, then surely you can!
I've always lived under the assumption that an author submits a manuscript and then the editor reads it and suggests revisions. I get the impression that in this case, they ran spell check and decided it was good to go.
Our local Borders went belly and so they had a several-weeks clearance sale. I usually never buy books unless I know exactly what I'm buying. But I couldn't resist picking up a few random titles at discount prices. This book looked intriguing sitting in the YA fiction section at 60% off. Maybe the fact that there were roughly 50 other available copies should have tipped me off that this was not a sought-after volume.
It's set about ten years in the future, and the citizens of the earth are coming to the realization that the world's oil supply is almost gone. I'm not really a huge environmentalist or anything, but it could make for an interesting enough story, right?
I think the author simply tried to accomplish too much in 250 pages. To really make her idea work, it probably needed to be a three book series. But she was probably worried that once they figured out she wasn't a fiction writer, they wouldn't publish a second or third book. So it all got crammed into one book.
It's told from the point of view of three teens in a New England town. There's Tom, your garden variety teen boy who's handsome, muscular, and sensitive. There's Niki, your stereotypical hottie cheerleader who has been spoiled by her parents. And there's Gwen, the Goth chick with black hair who lives on the edge and is a little bit ahead of the curve when it comes to smart energy. There's also a Hispanic kid who lives in a trailer. I forget his name - we'll call him Carlos for the purposes of this review.
In the book, oil prices are around $100 a gallon. A bunch of teens get in an all-out brawl because the rival school gets caught siphoning gas from their cars. Gwen's house burns down becasue her rebel brother is storing black market fuel in milk cartons. Niki's dad goes on a rampage and shatters an antique chair and throws it in the fire place because he can't get a job in the distressed economy. And then things get real bad when the superhurricane hits.
The book is basically green energy propaganda poorly disguised as fiction. It reads like a pamphlet with quotation marks and characters randomly inserted to make it seem like a story.
There's the romantic subplots. Carlos likes Gwen. Gwen likes Tom. Tom likes Niki. Niki likes herself. As the book progresses, Niki starts to like Tom but is worried that Tom might like Gwen. She also might still like her old boyfriend after the high oil prices mellow him out. Tom starts to like Gwen, but is worried that Carlos and Gwen have something going. Gwen likes Carlos, but only as a friend, and tells him as much. It's not really clear how that whole situation resolves itself, although we're led to believe that Tom and Gwen end up together. But the whole thing is so boring that you don't really care.
This book has continuity errors galore. And I'm a stickler for continuity. If you're too lazy to write your book so that it makes sense, why should I bother to listen to any of the ideas you put forth?
The good news is, you'll be glad to know that everything ends up just fine in the future after we run out of oil. So no worries!
NOTE: I skipped adding a spoiler alert, because you don't care. Trust me.
I've already given this book away to the YW garage sale, and some other sucka probably paid good money for it - or maybe they didn't and it's on a Goodwill shelf somewhere.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
What's the Big Deal? #3
People get up in the night about the weirdest stuff.
We had this figured out at LJE back in 1983. I remember very clearly. We were served white milk every day. On Fridays, we could choose chocolate milk. You know, because it was Friday.
So, Boulder Valley School District, you don't need to outlaw chocolate milk. And no, suburban Los Angeles mother, you don't need to serve flavored milk every day so the kids will drink it. What's wrong with these people?
And to the parents who don't like it? I guess they can send in their own lunch with the child, or there is those water fountains over yonder.
We had this figured out at LJE back in 1983. I remember very clearly. We were served white milk every day. On Fridays, we could choose chocolate milk. You know, because it was Friday.
So, Boulder Valley School District, you don't need to outlaw chocolate milk. And no, suburban Los Angeles mother, you don't need to serve flavored milk every day so the kids will drink it. What's wrong with these people?
And to the parents who don't like it? I guess they can send in their own lunch with the child, or there is those water fountains over yonder.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Time to Get My Sap On
I can get a little sentimental, and I'm about to. So hold onto your butts.
So today is (was) Mother's Day. At church they always strive to drive home the point that it is a day to celebrate all women. I was sort of pondering upon that point - is there any merit to it, or is it just the PC thing to do? Not pondering in an insensitive jerk sort of way, but wondering what kind of case could be built.
While our thoughts rightly turn first to our own mothers and the mothers of our children, are those really the only mother figures we ever have in our lives? We also can extend this celebration of mothers to grandmothers and aunts. In most cases, those individuals are as close as you can get to the real thing.
But are there more than just our relatives?
As many young Mormon lads do, when I turned nineteen I left home to serve a two-year mission. One of the issues to deal with is that your own mother is essentially taken away from you for that two-year period. You're sent to a strange place where you've never been to live among people you don't know. You get a weekly letter in the mail and a phone call twice a year. That's pretty much it.
It was rough on me, as it is for a lot of young elders. Eventually, I adapted to the void, partially through passage of time and I believe partialy through many of the great sisters who lived in the wards within the Tacoma Washington area. Not that they had any sort of parental relationship with me - but my missionary companions and I were the beneficiaries of their motherly qualities. They did many of the things that a mother would do for her son - giving gifts, baking birthday cakes, preparing delicious meals, offering compliments, and welcoming us into their homes - not just as members of the church fulfilling an obligation, but as friends.
So reflecting on these ladies and their acts of kindness today - I guess you can say it got a little dusty in the chapel for a few seconds today. I haven't seen or talked to most of them in 15 years. At least one of them has passed away. It's a select group - I could count the specific sisters I was thinking of on my two hands and have a few fingers left. I guess I don't necessarily need to name them here, but I could if I wanted to. I won't ever forget them, and on Mother's Day 2011 I salute them for how they blessed my life.
And so, a woman can be a mother to anyone, even if only temporarily.
So today is (was) Mother's Day. At church they always strive to drive home the point that it is a day to celebrate all women. I was sort of pondering upon that point - is there any merit to it, or is it just the PC thing to do? Not pondering in an insensitive jerk sort of way, but wondering what kind of case could be built.
While our thoughts rightly turn first to our own mothers and the mothers of our children, are those really the only mother figures we ever have in our lives? We also can extend this celebration of mothers to grandmothers and aunts. In most cases, those individuals are as close as you can get to the real thing.
But are there more than just our relatives?
As many young Mormon lads do, when I turned nineteen I left home to serve a two-year mission. One of the issues to deal with is that your own mother is essentially taken away from you for that two-year period. You're sent to a strange place where you've never been to live among people you don't know. You get a weekly letter in the mail and a phone call twice a year. That's pretty much it.
It was rough on me, as it is for a lot of young elders. Eventually, I adapted to the void, partially through passage of time and I believe partialy through many of the great sisters who lived in the wards within the Tacoma Washington area. Not that they had any sort of parental relationship with me - but my missionary companions and I were the beneficiaries of their motherly qualities. They did many of the things that a mother would do for her son - giving gifts, baking birthday cakes, preparing delicious meals, offering compliments, and welcoming us into their homes - not just as members of the church fulfilling an obligation, but as friends.
So reflecting on these ladies and their acts of kindness today - I guess you can say it got a little dusty in the chapel for a few seconds today. I haven't seen or talked to most of them in 15 years. At least one of them has passed away. It's a select group - I could count the specific sisters I was thinking of on my two hands and have a few fingers left. I guess I don't necessarily need to name them here, but I could if I wanted to. I won't ever forget them, and on Mother's Day 2011 I salute them for how they blessed my life.
And so, a woman can be a mother to anyone, even if only temporarily.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
It's Like, More Interesting Than the Actual Games
I'm sure you're thinking - yeah all this sewer and accounting and band stuff is great, but can you please just get back to the football?
The NFL draft starts tonight. "Starts" is the key word - we can't get this done in one day or even two. It's now a three-day event.
The Denver Broncos have the #2 overall pick - their highest selection in a draft during my lifetime. Who are they going to pick? Well, it really depends on who you ask. It kind of sounds like it is narrowed down to four players: DT Marcell Dareus of Alabama, DT Nick Fairley of Auburn, CB Patrick Peterson of LSU, or LB Von Miller of Texas A&M. They're all defensive players, which is good. If the Broncos spent all of their picks in the 2011 draft on defensive players, I don't think it would be overkill.
I guess the way I feel about how the Broncos should approach this #2 pick is this - whoever you think has the best chance to be an All-Pro-type player for you for the next 10 years, pick that guy. Don't mess around with figuring out where you most need help or taking gambles. After pretty much blowing a decade's worth of drafts, the Broncos cannot afford to blow the highest draft choice they've had in the Super Bowl era.
Unfortunately, it may not be that simple. If the Broncos followed my logic, their choice would probably be Patrick Peterson. The problems are that cornerbacks never get picked that high, and the Broncos already have Champ Bailey. So what good does it do to have two Pro Bowl cornerbacks when you don't have a defensive line?
A lot of people like Von Miller as the Broncos #2 pick. And there's a lot to like - he led the nation with 17 sacks in 2009 and had 10.5 more in 2010. If there is one think the Broncos have struggled with for years, it's getting pressure on the quarterback. The problem is that he played defensive end his junior year, and then converted to a 3-4 outside linebacker his senior year. With the Broncos, he would be playing 4-3 outside linebacker. Traditionally, the Broncos haven't had much luck with this type of hybrid DE/LB type. See Ayers, Robert and Moss, Jarvis. So even though he is compared to former Kansas City Chief and Hall of Famer Derrick Thomas as a pass rusher, there's just no way to know for sure.
Marcell Dareus seems to be the consensus pick among national pundits. And if he's available at #2, the Broncos should probably take him. Not because he may end up being the best in the long run, but because he's what the Broncos most "need" right now and is probably the lowest risk.
Who do the Broncos most want to pick? None of the above, most likely. I'm sure they would love to to trade the pick for multiple lower picks. I don't necessarily agree. One of the reasons they have plateaued in recent history is because they were never quite bad enough to get into the top 10 or top 5 of the draft and pick up a real difference maker. Instead, they were left to take chances on dudes like Willie Middlebrooks and Jarvis Moss.
What complicates the whole matter is that no one really seems to know what the Carolina Panthers will do with the number #1 overall pick. Some of the local talk guys are thinking the Panthers will take Dareus rather than an offensive player. So that could mess up the Broncos' plans for tonight.
We'll see what happens. Keep in mind I don't actually know anything and I'm just regurgitating what I hear and read. I haven't actually seen any of these guys play because I don't believe in college football.
The NFL draft starts tonight. "Starts" is the key word - we can't get this done in one day or even two. It's now a three-day event.
The Denver Broncos have the #2 overall pick - their highest selection in a draft during my lifetime. Who are they going to pick? Well, it really depends on who you ask. It kind of sounds like it is narrowed down to four players: DT Marcell Dareus of Alabama, DT Nick Fairley of Auburn, CB Patrick Peterson of LSU, or LB Von Miller of Texas A&M. They're all defensive players, which is good. If the Broncos spent all of their picks in the 2011 draft on defensive players, I don't think it would be overkill.
I guess the way I feel about how the Broncos should approach this #2 pick is this - whoever you think has the best chance to be an All-Pro-type player for you for the next 10 years, pick that guy. Don't mess around with figuring out where you most need help or taking gambles. After pretty much blowing a decade's worth of drafts, the Broncos cannot afford to blow the highest draft choice they've had in the Super Bowl era.
Unfortunately, it may not be that simple. If the Broncos followed my logic, their choice would probably be Patrick Peterson. The problems are that cornerbacks never get picked that high, and the Broncos already have Champ Bailey. So what good does it do to have two Pro Bowl cornerbacks when you don't have a defensive line?
A lot of people like Von Miller as the Broncos #2 pick. And there's a lot to like - he led the nation with 17 sacks in 2009 and had 10.5 more in 2010. If there is one think the Broncos have struggled with for years, it's getting pressure on the quarterback. The problem is that he played defensive end his junior year, and then converted to a 3-4 outside linebacker his senior year. With the Broncos, he would be playing 4-3 outside linebacker. Traditionally, the Broncos haven't had much luck with this type of hybrid DE/LB type. See Ayers, Robert and Moss, Jarvis. So even though he is compared to former Kansas City Chief and Hall of Famer Derrick Thomas as a pass rusher, there's just no way to know for sure.
Marcell Dareus seems to be the consensus pick among national pundits. And if he's available at #2, the Broncos should probably take him. Not because he may end up being the best in the long run, but because he's what the Broncos most "need" right now and is probably the lowest risk.
Who do the Broncos most want to pick? None of the above, most likely. I'm sure they would love to to trade the pick for multiple lower picks. I don't necessarily agree. One of the reasons they have plateaued in recent history is because they were never quite bad enough to get into the top 10 or top 5 of the draft and pick up a real difference maker. Instead, they were left to take chances on dudes like Willie Middlebrooks and Jarvis Moss.
What complicates the whole matter is that no one really seems to know what the Carolina Panthers will do with the number #1 overall pick. Some of the local talk guys are thinking the Panthers will take Dareus rather than an offensive player. So that could mess up the Broncos' plans for tonight.
We'll see what happens. Keep in mind I don't actually know anything and I'm just regurgitating what I hear and read. I haven't actually seen any of these guys play because I don't believe in college football.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
"When it Rains it Pours" or "Can One Really Get Ahead in Life?"
It's not likely that a person would ever get through life without a financial setback.
But do they really need to happen every other year?
We bought our house three and a half years ago. It wasn't much to look at then, and still isn't, by the way. But there was the hope that we could make it nice with our limited resources.
We've been doing stuff gradually - paint a room here, new garage door opener there, clearing out unsightly bushes and landscaping, etc. The only truly major splurge we did was to get new windows because the old aluminum ones were broken and terrible. Less than six months after those were installed, my already pregnant wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. And so we went through our medical period - childbirth (complete with time in the NICU), surgery for the wife, followed by some brief radiation treatment. Oh, and also some surgery for our newly born son. Medical insurance is great, but it doesn't cover everything, and it was a long time before all those bills and our new windows were paid off - but they did get paid off.
This year was the first year since we moved to Colorado that I didn't have to immediately take our entire tax refund and use it to pay off some other debt that we owed. It was kind of nice to have a little cushion in the bank. During my long working days of the winter and early spring, it was fun to daydream about things we might be able to do with the extra cash. I'm not talking going to Disneyland or anything - maybe just some modest upgrades in our furniture situation or maybe some fun summer activities for the family here in Colorado.
I've always been kind of uneasy about the plumbing in this house. While it worked, there were some things that happened (including smells) that didn't seem quite right. But if it's not broke, don't fix it, right? About three weeks ago, we woke up to water on the floor of the laundry room. At first we thought it was coming from the washer or the water heater or something, before finally figuring out that it was coming up through the drain hole. We did everything we could think of to fix it, but only made it worse. Finally, we gave up and resolved to call the plumber first thing Monday morning.
The problem was tree roots growing into our plumbing out in the front yard, and there were problems all the way out to the main sewer line in the street. To make a long story short, they gave us the option of the temporary fix with assurances that the roots would continue growing into the crappy (pun intended) 1970s era plumbing technology, or we could update all the plumbing and be assured that we would have happy flushing and showering until our kids reach adulthood.
The cost was substantial - we're talking five figures. The major "con" of not doing it was that the potential future repair costs would only go up if we let the shoddy plumbing in the yard and street continue to deteriorate. We didn't know what to do - we don't exactly have our emergency fund that stocked - so it would mean debt and payments once again. On the other hand, who wants to live a life of sewage backing up into the house?
We went ahead with the plumbing work. There's something to be said for indoor plumbing, but it's not like you end up with something that you can show for it - as in, check out our remodeled kitchen or awesome backyard deck/patio! Maybe we're spoiled. I guess if outhouses were still commonplace, our plumbing would be super cool.
The same week our oldest son went to the orthodonist. One major triumph of 2011 has been getting his braces paid off. Only now the orthodonist is recommending more treatment - at more than twice the cost of what we just paid off. We haven't decided about the teeth just yet. Oh, and did I mention that we are expecting a baby next month? Who knows the extent of financial obligations that will be incurred during that visit?
So any and all plans we had or were going to have for the next year or two or three all went down the drain in about a week's time. At least they stayed down.
I can only describe my feelings as discouraged. We try to live by sound financial principles. I track all the money that comes in and goes out and review it monthly. We pay full tithing plus generous fast offerings. I participate in the deferred salary program at work. If we do eat out, it's something affordable like $5 Little Caesers Pizza or Subway. We're still using the same 19-inch TV we bought 10 years ago. We have new iPods but we got them free for opening bank accounts. We don't buy stuff unless we know we have a way to pay for it. Oops, except we just did.
I don't mean to sound whiney. I know everyone has challenges and some are harder than others. I'm grateful to have a job that gets us most of the way there on the monthly budget. I guess I'm just expressing my frustration about the one-step-forward-two-steps-back way that things have been going the past few years.
But do they really need to happen every other year?
We bought our house three and a half years ago. It wasn't much to look at then, and still isn't, by the way. But there was the hope that we could make it nice with our limited resources.
We've been doing stuff gradually - paint a room here, new garage door opener there, clearing out unsightly bushes and landscaping, etc. The only truly major splurge we did was to get new windows because the old aluminum ones were broken and terrible. Less than six months after those were installed, my already pregnant wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. And so we went through our medical period - childbirth (complete with time in the NICU), surgery for the wife, followed by some brief radiation treatment. Oh, and also some surgery for our newly born son. Medical insurance is great, but it doesn't cover everything, and it was a long time before all those bills and our new windows were paid off - but they did get paid off.
This year was the first year since we moved to Colorado that I didn't have to immediately take our entire tax refund and use it to pay off some other debt that we owed. It was kind of nice to have a little cushion in the bank. During my long working days of the winter and early spring, it was fun to daydream about things we might be able to do with the extra cash. I'm not talking going to Disneyland or anything - maybe just some modest upgrades in our furniture situation or maybe some fun summer activities for the family here in Colorado.
I've always been kind of uneasy about the plumbing in this house. While it worked, there were some things that happened (including smells) that didn't seem quite right. But if it's not broke, don't fix it, right? About three weeks ago, we woke up to water on the floor of the laundry room. At first we thought it was coming from the washer or the water heater or something, before finally figuring out that it was coming up through the drain hole. We did everything we could think of to fix it, but only made it worse. Finally, we gave up and resolved to call the plumber first thing Monday morning.
The problem was tree roots growing into our plumbing out in the front yard, and there were problems all the way out to the main sewer line in the street. To make a long story short, they gave us the option of the temporary fix with assurances that the roots would continue growing into the crappy (pun intended) 1970s era plumbing technology, or we could update all the plumbing and be assured that we would have happy flushing and showering until our kids reach adulthood.
The cost was substantial - we're talking five figures. The major "con" of not doing it was that the potential future repair costs would only go up if we let the shoddy plumbing in the yard and street continue to deteriorate. We didn't know what to do - we don't exactly have our emergency fund that stocked - so it would mean debt and payments once again. On the other hand, who wants to live a life of sewage backing up into the house?
We went ahead with the plumbing work. There's something to be said for indoor plumbing, but it's not like you end up with something that you can show for it - as in, check out our remodeled kitchen or awesome backyard deck/patio! Maybe we're spoiled. I guess if outhouses were still commonplace, our plumbing would be super cool.
The same week our oldest son went to the orthodonist. One major triumph of 2011 has been getting his braces paid off. Only now the orthodonist is recommending more treatment - at more than twice the cost of what we just paid off. We haven't decided about the teeth just yet. Oh, and did I mention that we are expecting a baby next month? Who knows the extent of financial obligations that will be incurred during that visit?
So any and all plans we had or were going to have for the next year or two or three all went down the drain in about a week's time. At least they stayed down.
I can only describe my feelings as discouraged. We try to live by sound financial principles. I track all the money that comes in and goes out and review it monthly. We pay full tithing plus generous fast offerings. I participate in the deferred salary program at work. If we do eat out, it's something affordable like $5 Little Caesers Pizza or Subway. We're still using the same 19-inch TV we bought 10 years ago. We have new iPods but we got them free for opening bank accounts. We don't buy stuff unless we know we have a way to pay for it. Oops, except we just did.
I don't mean to sound whiney. I know everyone has challenges and some are harder than others. I'm grateful to have a job that gets us most of the way there on the monthly budget. I guess I'm just expressing my frustration about the one-step-forward-two-steps-back way that things have been going the past few years.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
We're Nowhere Near the End
Because we still have to wait another two weeks for season 2 of Growing Pains to be released, I decided that now would be a good time to rewatch the season 1 DVDs so that we can be prepared for the season 2 release.
A good reason to release multiple seasons of ANY show on DVD is that the first season usually isn't the best of the lot. The first four episodes of GP are a little rough. You can tell that the actors haven't totally figured out their characters and the cast hasn't fully meshed just yet. At times I was wondering if Growing Pains was Joanna Kerns' first professional acting job.
A few observations from the first disc of season 1:
I didn't know huge oversized clothing was so fashionable for women in 1985. Because Maggie and Carol could wear bedsheets in some of those episodes and they would have been more form-fitting than some of the outfits they had on.
A bit of false doctrine was refuted in episode 4. A few websites, Wikipedia and their ilk, proclaim that Ben Seaver's full name is Benjamin Hubert Horatio Humphrey Seaver. They think it's that because of an episode in a later season when Jason is angry and calls him by that moniker. I knew it was not correct, because who has three middle names like that, but I didn't have a reference. Now I do, as it is clearly stated in this episode that his middle name is just Humphrey. Still not a very good middle name, but at least correct.
The scene stealer in these early episodes is Mr. Simmons, the journalism teacher, who finds fault with Carol's overdescriptive reporting. "I forgot who I was talking to. Your writing is replete with stinkiosity." Great job by that guy.
One of the early guest stars of the series is the late Dana Plato, of Diff'rent Strokes fame. She plays a Madonnaphile who wants to "not watch TV" with Mike while his parents are out. I went online to figure out what their respective ages were when the episode was filmed. She would have been about 21, and Kirk Cameron about 15. Yeah, okay. So that kissing must have been awkward, for one or both of them. It may have even scarred Kirk for life, because he now apparently will only kiss his wife on-screen. Anyways, watching that episode made me want to look into Diff'rent Strokes on DVD.
Added to the long list of tv/movie ideas which couldn't be reused in 2010 is episode 7 - Weekend Fantasy, where Jason and Maggie hurry back from a weekend getaway to Vermont because the kids aren't answering the phone back at home at 10 PM. (SPOILER ALERT - they were down at a neighbors having a bundt and watching vacation slides) In 2010, at least Mike and Carol and maybe even Ben have cell phones, so that episode is over in like seven and a half minutes.
A good reason to release multiple seasons of ANY show on DVD is that the first season usually isn't the best of the lot. The first four episodes of GP are a little rough. You can tell that the actors haven't totally figured out their characters and the cast hasn't fully meshed just yet. At times I was wondering if Growing Pains was Joanna Kerns' first professional acting job.
A few observations from the first disc of season 1:
I didn't know huge oversized clothing was so fashionable for women in 1985. Because Maggie and Carol could wear bedsheets in some of those episodes and they would have been more form-fitting than some of the outfits they had on.
A bit of false doctrine was refuted in episode 4. A few websites, Wikipedia and their ilk, proclaim that Ben Seaver's full name is Benjamin Hubert Horatio Humphrey Seaver. They think it's that because of an episode in a later season when Jason is angry and calls him by that moniker. I knew it was not correct, because who has three middle names like that, but I didn't have a reference. Now I do, as it is clearly stated in this episode that his middle name is just Humphrey. Still not a very good middle name, but at least correct.
The scene stealer in these early episodes is Mr. Simmons, the journalism teacher, who finds fault with Carol's overdescriptive reporting. "I forgot who I was talking to. Your writing is replete with stinkiosity." Great job by that guy.
One of the early guest stars of the series is the late Dana Plato, of Diff'rent Strokes fame. She plays a Madonnaphile who wants to "not watch TV" with Mike while his parents are out. I went online to figure out what their respective ages were when the episode was filmed. She would have been about 21, and Kirk Cameron about 15. Yeah, okay. So that kissing must have been awkward, for one or both of them. It may have even scarred Kirk for life, because he now apparently will only kiss his wife on-screen. Anyways, watching that episode made me want to look into Diff'rent Strokes on DVD.
Added to the long list of tv/movie ideas which couldn't be reused in 2010 is episode 7 - Weekend Fantasy, where Jason and Maggie hurry back from a weekend getaway to Vermont because the kids aren't answering the phone back at home at 10 PM. (SPOILER ALERT - they were down at a neighbors having a bundt and watching vacation slides) In 2010, at least Mike and Carol and maybe even Ben have cell phones, so that episode is over in like seven and a half minutes.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Stick With What You Know
Just FYI, if you undertake some home improvements which qualify for the Federal Residential Engery Tax Credit, take what tax advice the contractor gives you with a grain of salt - because they may very well be wrong.
I've run across two instances where the contractor as been incorrect. One was for me personally. The contractor gave us a form when we did our insulation last summer saying that we could take X amount as a credit on our return. When I was doing our tax return, I looked up the acutal IRS instructions (cuz that's how I roll), and discovered that what we were entitled to was actually slightly less.
And then I'm just doing a client's return. They had some windows installed and were given a glossy brochure from Home Depot describing the tax credit. On the brochure, it stated that the credit allows only for the cost of the material and not for the cost of installation.
Nope. Per the instructions for Form 5695, under the heading Residential Engery Property Costs: "Include any labor costs properly allocable to the onsite preparation, assembly, or original installation of the energy property."
So there you have it. Also, don't have a car dealer do your taxes.
I've run across two instances where the contractor as been incorrect. One was for me personally. The contractor gave us a form when we did our insulation last summer saying that we could take X amount as a credit on our return. When I was doing our tax return, I looked up the acutal IRS instructions (cuz that's how I roll), and discovered that what we were entitled to was actually slightly less.
And then I'm just doing a client's return. They had some windows installed and were given a glossy brochure from Home Depot describing the tax credit. On the brochure, it stated that the credit allows only for the cost of the material and not for the cost of installation.
Nope. Per the instructions for Form 5695, under the heading Residential Engery Property Costs: "Include any labor costs properly allocable to the onsite preparation, assembly, or original installation of the energy property."
So there you have it. Also, don't have a car dealer do your taxes.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Depreciation Kills
My annual huge busy-season project is almost complete: a 900-page, 40-state tax return. It's actually not too bad thanks to the wonders of tax software. I have no idea how they did stuff like this before computers. I personally have no desire to learn the intricacies of taxation in Georgia or New Jersey. Usually, I just have to trust that the tax program knows what it is doing and I only have to go through and work out the kinks.
What makes this process painful is depreciation. Federal tax depreciation, at its core, is pretty easy if you enjoy working with tables - the IRS has a prescribed depreciation system, MACRS (Modified Accelerated Cost Recovery System), which everyone must follow. It tells you how long you can depreciate property based on its type and use, and what percentage you can take each year. It is a little bit of a pain to maintain two sets of schedules - a GAAP set for your regular books, as well as the MACRS set - but pretty manageable, especially with computer software.
But there are the wrinkles, such as the Section 179 deduction, which allows businesses an immediate depreciation deduction in the year of purchase. Back when I wsa first getting into tax preparation, the total allowed was $25,000 per year. And the deduction became phased out for businesses that exceeded $100,000 of capital investment for the year, so it was pretty much geared towards small businesses.
What makes my life interesting is when Congress started fooling around with mega-accelerated depreciation in the early part of last decade.
And I guess we have the terrorists to thank for what happened next. The government invented a little jewel known as 30% bonus depreciation. This allowed businesses to take an immediate 30% depreciation deduction in the year of purchase, for new (not used) equipment purchases, in hopes of stimulating the post-9/11 economy.
A couple of years later, the 30% became 50%. And the Section 179 deduction was increased to $100,000, and the maximum investment to $400,000. Suddenly the tax depreciation schedules weren't quite as tidy.
Especially considering that a few of the states were not feeling quite so generous as the federal government and opted not to adopt these new provisions of the Internal Revenue Code. At the time, this didn't really affect me at all, because I had not yet been exposed to the wonderful world of multi-state tax returns.
Bonus depreciation went away after 2004, and Section 179 saw only modest increases from $100,000 to $102,000 to $105,000 to $108,000 to $125,000.
And then the economy took another nosedive. Once again, Congress turned to the tax system in hopes of stimulating capital expenditures. For 2008, 50% bonus depreciation was re instituted, and Section 179 was doubled to $250,000, with a maximum capital investment of $800,000.
A few more states, notably Alabama and Arkansas, decided they could not stomach the bite out of their tax revenue and "decoupled" from federal tax depreciation.
And now it did affect me, because 2008 was the first year I prepared this company's tax return.
Last fall, they jacked it up again. Section 179 again doubled again to $500,000, with the investment limit soaring to an obscene $2 million. And get this. . . they instituted 100% bonus depreciation for new assets purchased after September 2010, which is akin to saying "Screw it. Let's just let 'em expense everything."
I mentioned before that having two sets of schedules was manageable. Well, if you have a company that does business throughout the United States, suddenly the number of sets you need to maintain grows to 25 or 30, because very few of the states are some. Some of them decoupled immediately, some decoupled in 2008, some in 2010. Some allow Section 179 but no bonus. Some have set their own amount of Section 179 that they allow. Some didn't allow it the first time around, but now they do. Some don't really say either way.
You would think there would be a good resource out there to tell you what each state allows. Nope. After many searches, I found one website that does a decent job state-by-state on bonus depreciation, but there is nothing similar for Section 179. Our own depreciation software will throw up some add-back schedules for bonus depreciation that I don't trust at all. They, too, are more focused on the bonus than 179 and I think some of their information is incorrect. I would be curious to see how well our tax software would do at calculating the adjustments, but that is a ton of data entry and that ship already sailed two years ago. So I'm left with a myriad of Excel spreadsheets, calculating my adjustments which may or may not be correct.
In conclusion, I salute the following states for their conformity to the federal provisions: Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Nebraska, West Virginia, Missouri, I love you all!
I mile-high salute Washington, Wyoming, Nevada, and South Dakota for not imposing an income tax on corporations.
I do not salute Ohio and Minnesota, but I respect them for easy-to-follow add-back methods which don't require a separate depreciation schedule.
I grudgingly respect California and those states which got off board immediately and have stuck with it ever since - at least we know where you stand.
I can not, and will not, respect states who don't really seem to know what they want you to do or how they want you to do it. Cough. North. Cough. Carolina.
I disrespect states such as Pennsylvania and some of its Northeasterly brethren, whose attitude seems to be "We know this is complex and hard to understand. That's why we will do everything we can to make it even more so."
Amen.
What makes this process painful is depreciation. Federal tax depreciation, at its core, is pretty easy if you enjoy working with tables - the IRS has a prescribed depreciation system, MACRS (Modified Accelerated Cost Recovery System), which everyone must follow. It tells you how long you can depreciate property based on its type and use, and what percentage you can take each year. It is a little bit of a pain to maintain two sets of schedules - a GAAP set for your regular books, as well as the MACRS set - but pretty manageable, especially with computer software.
But there are the wrinkles, such as the Section 179 deduction, which allows businesses an immediate depreciation deduction in the year of purchase. Back when I wsa first getting into tax preparation, the total allowed was $25,000 per year. And the deduction became phased out for businesses that exceeded $100,000 of capital investment for the year, so it was pretty much geared towards small businesses.
What makes my life interesting is when Congress started fooling around with mega-accelerated depreciation in the early part of last decade.
And I guess we have the terrorists to thank for what happened next. The government invented a little jewel known as 30% bonus depreciation. This allowed businesses to take an immediate 30% depreciation deduction in the year of purchase, for new (not used) equipment purchases, in hopes of stimulating the post-9/11 economy.
A couple of years later, the 30% became 50%. And the Section 179 deduction was increased to $100,000, and the maximum investment to $400,000. Suddenly the tax depreciation schedules weren't quite as tidy.
Especially considering that a few of the states were not feeling quite so generous as the federal government and opted not to adopt these new provisions of the Internal Revenue Code. At the time, this didn't really affect me at all, because I had not yet been exposed to the wonderful world of multi-state tax returns.
Bonus depreciation went away after 2004, and Section 179 saw only modest increases from $100,000 to $102,000 to $105,000 to $108,000 to $125,000.
And then the economy took another nosedive. Once again, Congress turned to the tax system in hopes of stimulating capital expenditures. For 2008, 50% bonus depreciation was re instituted, and Section 179 was doubled to $250,000, with a maximum capital investment of $800,000.
A few more states, notably Alabama and Arkansas, decided they could not stomach the bite out of their tax revenue and "decoupled" from federal tax depreciation.
And now it did affect me, because 2008 was the first year I prepared this company's tax return.
Last fall, they jacked it up again. Section 179 again doubled again to $500,000, with the investment limit soaring to an obscene $2 million. And get this. . . they instituted 100% bonus depreciation for new assets purchased after September 2010, which is akin to saying "Screw it. Let's just let 'em expense everything."
I mentioned before that having two sets of schedules was manageable. Well, if you have a company that does business throughout the United States, suddenly the number of sets you need to maintain grows to 25 or 30, because very few of the states are some. Some of them decoupled immediately, some decoupled in 2008, some in 2010. Some allow Section 179 but no bonus. Some have set their own amount of Section 179 that they allow. Some didn't allow it the first time around, but now they do. Some don't really say either way.
You would think there would be a good resource out there to tell you what each state allows. Nope. After many searches, I found one website that does a decent job state-by-state on bonus depreciation, but there is nothing similar for Section 179. Our own depreciation software will throw up some add-back schedules for bonus depreciation that I don't trust at all. They, too, are more focused on the bonus than 179 and I think some of their information is incorrect. I would be curious to see how well our tax software would do at calculating the adjustments, but that is a ton of data entry and that ship already sailed two years ago. So I'm left with a myriad of Excel spreadsheets, calculating my adjustments which may or may not be correct.
In conclusion, I salute the following states for their conformity to the federal provisions: Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Nebraska, West Virginia, Missouri, I love you all!
I mile-high salute Washington, Wyoming, Nevada, and South Dakota for not imposing an income tax on corporations.
I do not salute Ohio and Minnesota, but I respect them for easy-to-follow add-back methods which don't require a separate depreciation schedule.
I grudgingly respect California and those states which got off board immediately and have stuck with it ever since - at least we know where you stand.
I can not, and will not, respect states who don't really seem to know what they want you to do or how they want you to do it. Cough. North. Cough. Carolina.
I disrespect states such as Pennsylvania and some of its Northeasterly brethren, whose attitude seems to be "We know this is complex and hard to understand. That's why we will do everything we can to make it even more so."
Amen.
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