What's the Big Deal? #3

People get up in the night about the weirdest stuff.

We had this figured out at LJE back in 1983. I remember very clearly. We were served white milk every day. On Fridays, we could choose chocolate milk. You know, because it was Friday.

So, Boulder Valley School District, you don't need to outlaw chocolate milk. And no, suburban Los Angeles mother, you don't need to serve flavored milk every day so the kids will drink it. What's wrong with these people?

And to the parents who don't like it? I guess they can send in their own lunch with the child, or there is those water fountains over yonder.

I Hate Politicians, or JUST SELECT ONE, DANG IT!!!

So the Denver Post ran this thing in yesterday's paper where they asked the Colorado candidates for governor a list of cutesie questions such as "What was the last book you read?"

Which is just fine and pretty boring until you get down to the bottom where the questions are not open-ended but specified as "Select one."

The first one was (select one) Sandra Bullock or Angelina Jolie?

Dan Maes and Tom Tancredo both said Sandra. But John Hickenlooper took the high road and said Helen Thorpe (his wife).

Another question was (select one) Leno, Letterman, or Oprah?

Maes picked Leno, Hick picked Oprah, and Tancredo said "None of the above." Not that hard Tommy Boy - they're just TV shows.

Then it was (select one) Paris or Vegas?

Maes said Paris. Tancredo, the smart aleck, said "Paris Hotel in Las Vegas", and Hick said Durango. What an idiot.

Finally, it was (select one) American Idol or CSI?

Maes said CSI. Tancredo said "Neither." Apparently he's not much of a TV watcher. Hick said, "Flip a coin. Usually a Rockies game." That answer makes even less sense than "Durango."

Sigh. I was considering a vote for Hick since he's going to win anyways. But not after those stupid answers he rolled out in the paper. I think I'll vote for Maes. At least he answered all the questions. That's what I like in a politican.

Oh, and by the way, they did the same think for the senatorial candidates. To the question American Idol or CSI, Michael Bennet answered, "Entourage." Thanks, doofus. Did you write in answers to multiple choice tests in school?

And Ken Buck and Bennet both dodged the Sandra v. Angelina question. Buck said, my wife Perry Buck. And Bennet said, "My wife Susan wouldn't let me choose." Notice that he didn't dodge it by picking his wife. He just blamed it on her that he wasn't going to answer the question.

I can't stand Michael Bennet, so there's no way I would vote for him, even if Ken Buck answered, "Angelina every day of the week and twice on Sunday."

So how can we count on these guys to face the tough issues like Obamacare and taxes when they can't even answer a simple question about which Hollywood actress they like better? I don't think the Post was asking who you wanted to go to bed with, guys. Take a chill pill.

My answers:

Letterman
Vegas
American Idol
Sandra

And if that prevents me from someday being elected to public office, so be it.

"Mayor, who should start at QB for the Broncos, Orton, Tebow, or Quinn?"

"John Elway."

Who's To Blame?

So the number one sports story in Denver these days is Carmelo Anthony. The Nuggets offered him a 3 year, $65 million contract extension back in June, which he so far has not signed. He insists that he has not requested a trade, but by refusing to sign the extension, he is saying that he is not staying in Denver beyond the 2010-11 season, so the Nuggets had better get something for him while they can lest they end up like the Cleveland Cavaliers. Carmelo has enormous leverage, because the Nuggets can't get fair compensation in a trade unless Carmelo signs the extension first - no team is going to give the Nuggets much if they are only guaranteed one year of Carmelo.

Everyone pretty much seems to agree that the motivation for Carmelo to leave town is that he wants to play in a bigger market so he can make more cash off endorsements. He also has this wife La La Vasquez, who is apparently a super famous TV star - I've never heard of her in a non-Carmelo context, so she can't be that great. Anyways, the word is that she also wants him playing somewhere other than Denver.

So everyone is kind of peeved about Carmelo dissing the great state of Colorado. As for me, I don't really care that much. It would have been nice to see him stick around and strive to obtain a John Elway-like celebrity here, but if that's not what he wants, then whatever. Basketball careers don't last that long.

The angle that no one seems to be exploring is that the Nuggets really haven't done crap to make it enticing for him to stick around, other than offering $65 million.

Stan Kroenke, the owner of the Nuggets, has seemed more concerned with owning a franchise in every sports league in the world than improving the teams he currently owns. The Nuggets have been operating under financial constraints for awhile because Stan doesn't want to pay the NBA luxury tax incurred when teams exceed the salary cap. So the Nuggets haven't been aggressive in recent years in adding the pricier talent to their roster.


"If my in-laws got rich selling cheap crap in their stores, then I can get even more rich selling cheap crap to fans, right?"







Operating on a budget is great, but if your net worth is $1.8 million and your sugar daddy is Wal-Mart, is that a valid reason? Not really, considering poor old Stan managed to scrape up enough change to buy the remaining 60% interest in the NFL's St. Louis Rams.

Also, ownership decided not to extend the contract of general manager Mark Warkentien over the summer. He was only the NBA Executive of the Year in 2009. The Nuggets have replaced him with somebody named Masai Ujiri, who I'm sure no one but the most passionate of NBA insiders had ever heard of before. And to top it all off, Stan has to turn over the car keys to his son, Josh Kroenke, as a result of his ownership of the Rams. I think Josh is younger than me.

So I can't say I totally blame Carmelo for wanting to move on. I mean, if the team owner isn't that interested in the team, why should you be?

Lou Brown (1940-2010)

Lost in all the hubbub over the death of Yankees owner George Steinbrenner last week was the fact that another legendary baseball figure also passed away - actor James Gammon, who portrayed Lou Brown, the manager of the Cleveland Indians in the movie "Major League".

Brown was famously managing a tire shop when he got the unsolicited job offer. But instead of leading the Indians to a dead-last finish as hoped by team management, he masterfully melded the talents of Willie "Mays" Hayes, Roger Dorn, Pedro Cerrano and Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn and led them past the Yankees to the AL East title.

The gravelly-voiced actor uttered such unforgettable lines as "Give 'em the heater!" and "We're out of towels!" and will live on in our memories. I haven't seen the edited-for-TV version of Major League playing on USA or TBS lately. Fortunately, I have it taped. You would be wise to avoid the non-edited version due to some other unforgettable lines.

My Personal LBJ Take

Another day cannot pass without my take on LeBron James aka "King James". If you haven't been following this story or if you just returned from a two-month vacation to the third moon of Jupiter, here is a quick recap.

LeBron is the greatest active NBA player. Except for on the days when it is Kobe Bryant. A better way to say it is that people want him to be the greatest NBA player of all time - sort of a cross between Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan. Only better. He's not quite there yet - only 25. But the big deal is that he was in the last year of his contract with the Cleveland Cavaliers, and was set on testing the free agent market. He could go anywhere - New York, Chicago, Los Angeles. And pretty much anywhere would be happy to have him. And pay him. Lots and lots of money.

Anyways, the media has been talking this to death for weeks. It was practically a bigger story than the NBA playoffs, while they were still going on. Where was LeBron going to go? And then it got worse after the playoffs ended. Radio, TV, print - no one could ask the question enough times or come up with enough answers and theories on what was going to happen.

Finally, LeBron said that he was going to announce his decision via a one-hour special on ESPN and donate the advertising proceeds to the Boys and Girls Club. This escalated the nonstop LeBron coverage. I think ESPN had two hours of preview coverage for the one-hour special. I did not watch it on TV but listened to some of it in the car. The special itself was more asking the golden question. Where is LeBron going to go?

Finally, he announced that he was "taking his talents to South Beach" to play for the Miami Heat.

Since then, everyone (meaning the media) has been in an outrage about LeBron. "I can't believe he would go on national TV and break Cleveland's heart. . . LeBron is such a narcissist. . . LeBron got some terrible PR advice. . . what was he thinking, having an hour long special. . . This is because LeBron doesn't have a strong father figure. . . this is the end of professional sports as we know it. . . why did he have to announce it this way. . ."

And yet, I don't remember anyone in the media whining about the TV special beforehand. Of course not, because they practically asked for it! It seemed to be the only fitting end for weeks of breathless coverage - just like the only fitting end for months of speculation about the NCAA tournament is a one-hour special where they reveal the brackets. Just like the only fitting end for months of speculation about the NFL draft is to top it off with a few dozen hours of live coverage where NFL teams reveal who they picked!

Don't mistake me for a LeBron fan. In fact, don't mistake me for a basketball fan. I can barely stand to watch the sport anymore. I watched maybe three hours of NBA action during the 2009-2010 season. And so if you can choose pretty much anywhere in the US to work, and sucker ESPN into donating millions to a charity of your choice in the process, why wouldn't you?

And if it was so uncool to do the one-hour special where he "stabbed Cleveland in the back", then why didn't somebody at ESPN pull him aside and say, "Yo, LeBron, this isn't cool. We don't want to be a part of this, and you're getting some bad PR advice."

But they didn't do that. Probably because then the special would have been on another sucker cable network.

Still, being a sports fan, I can understand that people can get upset. People love to be upset. And the sports media love to stir the pot, because more upset people mean they are buying more papers, listening to more talk shows, and lighting up more websites.

But you guys wanted this! You know you did! You know you wanted it to be a live one-hour special broadcast around the world! Because he's King James! You created him!

And no controversy about a black person is complete without Jesse Jackson weighing in. . . he accused the Cavaliers owner of having a slave owner mentality. Sigh. Really, Jesse? You know you are basically a caricature of yourself at this point, right?

But I'm not getting in to that today. . .

What's the Big Deal? #2

So I started this "series" a while back and I had a couple of ideas but I haven't exactly followed through by writing about them.

This one is sports-related, from a couple of months ago. So you've probably all heard of Ken Griffey, Jr., one of the greatest baseball players of our time. So anyways, he went back to Seattle to finish his career with the Mariners, the team he started with over 20 years ago.

So the Mariners lost a tight game earlier this year and the manager was asked why Griffey hadn't been available to pinch-hit, and I think the manager sort of dodged the question. Anyways, a story later came out saying that Griffey had gone back to the clubhouse to get a jacket in the middle of game and never came back. And so a couple of players had gone back and found him asleep in a chair in front of his locker. And so that's why he wasn't available to pinch-hit.

And then the whole thing blew up all over the place. Everyone vehemently denied that Griffey had been sleeping during the game. One of the Mariners wanted a piece of whoever had been the team "source" on the story. And the whole team refused to speak with anyone from the Tacoma News-Tribune, which I believe had published or somehow facilitated the story.

I actually thought it was hilarious that "Nap-Gate" caused such an uproar. Let's think about this for a second. First of all, it's baseball. It's not like they were fighting in Iraq or something. Second of all, it's Ken Griffey Jr. If you have over 600 career home runs, you should probably be able to walk around the dugout with no pants on without anyone batting an eye. If he was just a rookie - then there might be a controversy. Finally, he's 40 years old! Some of those games last well past 10 PM - that's late for an old guy.

But anyways, for some reason there were some serious debates going on in the media about this whole episode. I think it's mainly a product of the 24/7 media. If this happened in 1990, I kind of doubt anyone outside of King County ever hears about it.

I guess Junior took the hint, because he has retired from baseball since the controversy.

What's the Big Deal #1

Today I am starting a series of posts called, "What's the Big Deal?" Because lately it seems that people have been getting ants in their pants over trivial things.

For example, I recently read an article in The Denver Post. Apparently, in Colorado you are allowed to sell shares in your dairy farm whereby you can then distribute fresh raw cow milk to the shareholders.

But there are some people who want to shut down these farms. People might get sick. We're so worried that someone will be harmed by this non-pasteurized milk. So we better shut these farms down. Right now.

I'm sure that anyone who has laid down money to buy shares in one of these farms has taken the the time to properly weigh the risks of drinking raw milk with whatever they perceive to be the nutritional benefits. I'll acknowledge that most people probably should not drink raw milk. But do they really think there is going to be some sort of RAW MILK REVOLUTION? I kind of doubt it. Most people are worried about cost and convenience when trying to fulfill their dairy needs, neither of which is really offered by raw milk.

I'd be willing to bet that what the commercial dairy industry is mostly worried about is how it could potentially affect their bank account.

So I say let them drink and drink and drink until they are sick - not from bacteria, but because they are so full of its rich, fatty goodness.

It's kind of like with cigarettes. It's not like any smoker in our day and age suddenly realizes, "Hey, I had no idea that there are potential health consequences of sucking down this burning tobacco!" (I realize some may say they didn't know, but come on. You're really pinning your lung cancer on a cartoon camel?)

As for me, I don't really have a dog (cow?) in the fight. I drank raw milk once. I didn't get sick. But I'm happy with my milk from the grocery.

Should raw milk be sold at the Safeways? Nope. Should raw milk be served at the school cafeteria? Absolutely not. But if people want to drink non-pasteurized milk in the privacy of their own homes, I think that is perfectly okay.

Wolves are Apparently the Bomb

Some newspaper articles make me go hmmmm - maybe not the story itself but the way it was written. There was one in today's Denver Post about the possibility that wolves have returned to Colorado. I didn't know this, but there are apparently have been no wolves in Colorado for 70 years or something.

I love the phrase "wolf advocate" used in the article. How would you like to be known as a wolf advocate? Do wolves need an advocate? I can imagine being handed a business card reading, JOHN B. LUNDQUIST, WOLF ADVOCATE.

The wolf advocates believe there are wolves in Colorado becuase they found "wolf scat" in northwestern Colorado. I love that the author took the time to call it scat. Not dung, not droppings, not excrement, but scat. What a great word - although it doesn't seem much different than the biologist saying, "Yeah, we found a pile of wolf crap and we're sending it to the lab." My only question is this: if you found a pile of feline poo, would you call it "cat scat"?

The line, "visitors flock to Yellowstone National Park to try to spot the animals" was a bit of a head scratcher for me. Maybe it's just me, but I never thought of wolves as being the primary attraction of Yellowstone. I thought it was the geological wonders, the scenery, or maybe the bears or buffalo. I've never heard anyone say, "Yeah, I'm taking two weeks vacation to head up to Wyoming. It's my lifelong dream to get a glimpse of a real wolf!"

I'll skip comment on the idea that there are labs that run DNA tests on wolf scat.

And then there was the part of the article that stated that there were 319 wolves in Wyoming. Is this true? Really? They have it down to the exact wolf? Will there be a separate 2010 census for the wolves? I can imagine Mr. and Mrs. Wolf getting the census form in their wolf mailbox, and they have to fill out how many wolves are in their wolfpack and their estimated annual number of kills. Is it 1-30? 31-50? 51-100? Or more than 100?

So I'm kind of weirded out. I never knew people were so into wolves. And I went to NC State University! You'd think I would understand about wolfpacks!

The Lion, the Witch, and the Obama

I recently was gone on a Pioneer Trek for four days. It was kind of nice to be shut off from the world for a brief period of time. No newspapers, no internet, no cell phones, no podcasts, no TV, no radio.

I was a bit curious if anything big had happened newswise. Well, I guess not! Because pretty much what everything was talking about when we returned was the whole story with Cambridge, Massachusetts police sgt. James Crowley (the Lion) and Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. (the Witch).

If you haven't heard what happened, I ask if you have been living on a space satellite. I don't know if I've read a full news account of this story, but as far as I know, the Witch broke into his own house. Some lady called the cops. The Lion shows up and tells the Witch that he's gonna need to see some ID. The Witch has some contentious words for the Lion. The Lion arrests the Witch.

If you can believe this, the Lion and the Witch are of different races. Here. In America. In 2009! Who woulda thunk it! What has the world come to!

And anytime people of different races have a disagreement, there is only one possible explanation. One, or the other, or both, is racist. There is just simply no other conceivable reason that two people of different races would not see eye to eye. Even the lady who called the cops is a racist. Which she probably is. I mean, whenever I see white people breaking into houses, I just let it go.

That brings us to the Obama. As if he wasn't busy enough seizing private companies or nationalizing health care, he felt the need to get involved in local law enforcement by saying that the police had "acted stupidly." But I guess he felt obligated since he is a black man who went to Harvard. I'm sure that if Mitt Romney were president, he totally would have the back of any BYU professor who was arrested by a Latino cop in Provo.

Which, shockingly, didn't go over really well. Could it be that the Obama, he of the golden tongue, spoke out of turn?

So the Obama decides to smooth things over by having the Lion and the Witch down to D.C. for a tour of his pad and a few brews. And so, the "Beer Summit" was born. I'm not sure what the point of this activity was or why everyone was so excited about it. I mean, in the Denver Post, on the day of the summit, they had a full-color front page spread detailing the exact brand of beer that each man was going to drink at the White House. That seemed to be a little much.

Anyways, I'm not sure if I accomplished anything in my retelling of the classic tale of The Lion, the Witch, and the Obama. But it felt good to get it out. And it feels good knowing that should I have any trouble with local police that perhaps the Obama would talk some junk on my behalf and then fly me out to socialize with the officer who accosted me.

Tales from Cherry Creek

Sometimes I can't think of anything to blog about. The solution? Pick up the newspaper and read about some of the insanity going on in the world.

In the July 19 edition of The Denver Post, columnist Penny Parker tells a tale of restaurant dress codes in richie Cherry Creek. Scott Coors, a member of the Coors brewing family, was headed to dine at some place called Houston's (never heard of it) with his "partner", Dr. Dave Hurt. At first I was unsure if Parker meant his business parter or. . . well, you know.

Anyways, they were not allowed a table by the restaurant hostess because the Dr. was wearing a sleeveless button down shirt. They asked for the manager, who was apparently some sort of pal of theirs (again, Parker didn't say what kind of pal), who backed his hostess and kicked the dynamic duo out of the restaurant.

So Coors apparently texted his pal PP at the Post to vent his anger about his partner being humiliated by Houston's. (I'm surprised it took the restaurant to humiliate him - I would have thought stepping out of the house would have done it.) He also thought it was gender discrimination because women could get in wearing no sleeves. And so they're not ever going back to Houston's and blah blah blah.

I applaud the restaurant for not allowing the Dr. in wearing a sleeveless button down shirt. Heck, if I was managing a Sizzler's I would not have given him a table. Tank tops are one thing, but sleeveless button down? That's just creepy. He was lucky they didn't call the police.

I don't think it was gender discrimination. It's socially acceptable for women to have bare arms, just as it is acceptable for them to wear skirts. It's not so for men, unless you're on an island somewhere. But it might very well have been weirdo discrimination.

And as far as what kind of partners these two were - I think the sleeveless button down shirt answers that question.

What Gives? or The Times, They are a Changin'

As a kid, I played little league. I also went to birthday parties. And later on, I did graduate from high school.

My kids go to birthday parties. And they play little league or other kid sports. And we have just passed graduation season. I've noticed that things don't seem to be the same.

It seems that a typical birthday party nowadays requires that the host(ess) provide some sort of gift bag filled with goodies comparable in quality to what you might find at an Oriental Trading Co. clearance sale. Hey, we do it too whenever we throw a b-day party for the kiddies. . . I'm just saying that I never remember getting or giving any parting gift when I was jamming on the birthday party circuit back in the 1980's. I'm just wondering who invented this tradition and how it became birthday law.

My kids aren't quite as sporty as I am - my son played soccer when he was four and HATED it. It was soccer, so I can't totally blame him. My daughter is currently playing t-ball. One thing I've noticed in both cases is the overabundance of snacks. There is a snack after every practice and every game. The parents of team members take turns bringing the snacks week after week.

I played five years of little league and can never remember having a team-organized snack. Not after practice, not after games. I don't even remember being provided with water. It was a long time ago, so maybe I'm mistaken, but it seems like if you required sustenance after the game, your parents were stopping at the Loaf and Jug on the way home.

I can remember one time - one of the moms told us that if we won our game, she would buy us all a pop. At the time, this seemed incredibly generous - wow, a pop! However, in the context of 2009, it seems rather stingy - "I'll give you a snack, alright - but only if you win your &*^%$ baseball game!"

I guess we were just tougher in those days. If we got hungry at practice, we ate gravel or a piece of our shirt. And then at the games, we would just eat the other team.

I suppose the snack concept was invented around the same time as the concept of a "soccer mom". I'm not sure if this might be one of those chicken-or-the-egg dilemmas.

Lastly, what is the deal with graduation parties? A couple of weeks ago one of my co-workers spent the entire weekend going around to about a half-dozen celebrations. I'm quite certain that these didn't exist when I graduated high school. I didn't have one - other than maybe some relatives having some grub over at the house. And I'm not even sure I had that much. And none of my friends had a party. At least, not that I was invited to. I don't even think I knew graduation parties existed at the time. But it seems pretty commonplace now to open up the house to everyone you've ever known.

No one ever threw a party for me! And I've been the good guy!!!!

Rocky is Dead

Shock of shocks, The Rocky Mountain News published its final edition on Friday. No one saw that coming!

I'm a little bit glad for selfish reasons. As a subscriber to The Denver Post, I will no longer have the Rocky foisted upon me Saturday morning because that is what was dictated by the two papers' joint operating agreement. I can now get the Post every day, which is what I paid for.

A lot of people are upset by the demise of the Rocky. And that's fine, but I never really developed an attachment to it. Growing up, if I ever read a Denver paper, it was usually the Post. The Rocky was more of a novelty - sometimes it was fun to read one because of the wacky tabloid format.

Other people are gleeful that the Rocky is done and desperately want to see the Post die as well - because they are both worthless liberal rags. I don't completely understand that perspective - I guess because I almost never read the editorials. I don't "take the paper" so I can get informed about world and national news.

My #1 reason for "taking the paper" is the sports section. Another reason I prefer the Post is that its sports page is, in my opinion, far superior to the one found in the Rocky. Unless you're into big-city prep sports, which I'm kinda not. On Sunday, I'll generally read the sports first and then the business section. I'll probably look through the Denver & The West section as well. Sometimes there might be an interesting article in the front section - but generally that is filled with furniture and mattress ads anyways.

I guess my main point is that I'll still keep taking the paper despite the political views of whoever prints it. I like walking out to get the paper in the morning, even if I only have 5 or 10 minutes at breakfast to glance through it. I don't like reading news on the computer that much unless I'm bored at work (which I haven't been and won't be for another couple of months). So I hope they don't die off completely.

Digital TV Conversion: It's the Bomb!!!

I had the bar set pretty low for my digital TV conversion. I waited and waited to buy the box and then I waited and waited to actually hook it up - moving that entertainment center away from the wall just didn't seem worth it. But the other night I actually had a free half-hour at home when the baby wasn't needing to be held and all the kids were in bed and Elizabeth was out. So I decided to go for it.

Previously, we received about 10 channels analog on our $10 rabbit ears from Target. A couple came in pretty good if the antenna was set right - KUSA-9 and KWGN-7. Denver's CBS affiliate, KCNC-4, could get no better than fuzzy even if you spent 15 minutes tweaking the rabbit ears. That pretty much ended my fandom of Survivor and gave me another reason to avoid Broncos games (besides their awful play of the past two years). And KWGN-2 usually didn't come in at all unless the weather conditions outside were just right.

I really didn't expect much to change with the installation of the converter box. The way everyone talked, the only difference was going to be that your TV wouldn't go black when they finally turned off the analog signals (if the Democrats ever let them). I thought it would still be crappy reception - maybe slightly less crappy if we were lucky.

So it's quite a set up - rabbit ears hooked into the converter box, converter box to the VCR, VCR to the TV. But one it was done - WOW! Suddenly all the channels were crystal clear! (Or as crystal as you can get with rabbit ears and an 8-year old TV). Once again I could behold Jeff Probst's handsome studliness in all of its glory. Although Channel 4 seems prone to that weird digital twitching all the time. And I could even watch Channel 2 - not that there is anything on there, but still. And also, there were several bonus channels! Some sort of weather channel, a couple more PBS-related channels, maybe even an extra Spanish channel!

I think what my oldest son said upon seeing our new reception was, "Oh, we have THIS kind of TV now."

Things That Annoy

I heard that the Senate voted to extend the digital TV conversion until June and that the House is expected to also approve it.

I think that doing so is totally stupid. They've only been talking about this, for what, a year? Anyone who seriously cares about watching TV after February 17 has already taken care of the problem. But I guess we need to give everyone else more time NOT to do something about it. It's sort of like tax day, April 15. Everyone gets automatic six-month extensions, and so most people don't worry about filing until at least five months later. Or in some cases, until five months and 27 days later.

I say stick with the drop-dead February date. When their TV goes black, then they'll go out and buy the converter box for sure. I bought mine, although I haven't hooked it up yet. Who are all these people anyway? I thought we were one of only 772 remaining U.S. households without cable or satellite.

Also, perhaps you have heard the recent story of a high school girls team in Dallas that ran up the score on their opponent, winning 100-0. They were shooting threes and applying full-court pressure well into the second half of the game. So then the principal of the winning team wanted to forfeit afterwards because it wasn't winning honorably or something, and I think they fired the coach.

I saw it in the newspaper and then heard about it on all three talk radio stations that I listen to. I'm not surprised that it caught on, because it appeals to exactly what Americans love to do: point out when someone has done something bad, because they live such a perfect life.

I was sick of hearing about it within the first hour, and they are still talking about it two weeks later. My whole thing is this: Who cares? It's a small private high school in another state. I doubt that the running up of the score really affects anyone other than the players and the coaches who were actually in the game. So shutup about it already! No one cares what you think about proper sportsmanship! At least I don't.

I would have prefered that they not forfeit the game and keep their 100-point victory. Those things have a way of working out in the end. For instance, last year the New England Patriots felt it was necessary to run up the score on everybody and then failed to win the Super Bowl despite their 18-0 record.

Inauguration Day

I was always under the impression that no man knoweth the time of the Second Coming. And yet, here it is, today, the twentieth of January, two thousand and nine.

Kidding. But some of the comments that people are making might lead you to believe it.

I have a confession. I didn't vote for B. Obama. Nope, I sure didn't.

However, I would like to give him my best wishes for the next four years. Maybe he really does have some answers for what ails this great country of ours.

But, much like Josh McDaniels being the new coach of the Broncos, we won't know how things are going to turn out right away. We'll just have to wait and see how he does. Maybe he'll be great and maybe he'll be a disaster. We just don't know.

More Bailouts

So we're bailing out Wall Street. And now we're going to also bailout Detroit automakers since the unions have pretty much sucked the life out of them. I started in on a post about this a few weeks ago, but didn't finish, because who cares? It's out of my hands.

My question is this - who is going to bail out the big-box retailers?

Who is going to bailout Linens n' Things? They're liquidating all their assets and no one is lifting a finger to help them out. Where will Americans go to buy overpriced crap for their homes? I suppose they'll go to Bed, Bath & Beyond although I can't imagine how long that will last since it's not even as good of a store as Linens n' Things. I guess Americans will have to settle for buying moderately priced crap at Wal-Mart and Target.

And what about Circuit City? They have to close a bunch of stores and I don't see Congress doing anything to help them out. If we don't bailout Circuit City, Americans will have to resort to Best Buy for electronic crap. And Best Buy already charges three times what stuff is worth so I can't imagine that's a good thing for middle-class Americans.

We better start getting something in the pipeline for these guys because after what is sure to be a dismal December for these guys, they are going to need some help. I'm a little worried about JC Penney myself. Every week they send out a flyer advertising the Sale of the Ages. Let's get going on this before it gets out of hand.

Great Ideas

Do you ever come up with a great idea and wonder if anyone else has thought of the same thing?

I sure have. And with the internet, it is fairly easy to answer your question.

Here is my most recent such incident.

I would do my own, but I do not possess the necessary photoshop skills.

Gem of the Day

From time to time I like to post bizarre quotes that I read in the newspaper. Here's one for today. It comes courtesy of Oakland Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha, commenting on his team releasing teammate DeAngelo Hall, who was paid an $8 million signing bonus to play in 8 games for the 2-6 Raiders.

"I don't think he's the one scapegoat," Asomugha said. ". . . He was kind of singled out in regards of let's cut someone."

Uh. . . no, that's not a tree. That's something growing out of the ground that has leaves and branches.

Things That Make You Go HMMM. . .

Interesting quote I saw in today's paper from Michelle Obama, who was up in Boulder trying to get teen slackers to register to vote yesterday.

"We're going to need your prayers; we're going to need your work. We're going to need you to pray; we're going to need you to work. And then after you work, pray a little more. And then after you've prayed, keep working."

?????????????

I guess her husband's public speaking ability hasn't rubbed off on her.

The Most Crazy Thing I've Heard Today

My favorite activist organization - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals - is up to their old tricks once again. I thought the most crazy request I'd ever heard from PETA was when they wanted the Green Bay Packers to change their nickname in order to protect animal rights. But now they have penned a letter to the cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade, Inc., asking them to consider replacing cow's milk used in the production of ice cream with human breast milk. They got the idea from some wackmobile in Switzerland who was doing it in his restaurant. They want to lessen the suffering of dairy cows, so their solution is to pay women to give them breast milk. As April Zesbaugh of 850 KOA said, "What about the suffering of women?"

I can't imagine Ben & Jerry's ever doing this - that's a huge risk to take with your product - but if they did, think of all the new creative names they could come up with: Mammary Swirl. Mom's Crunch. Baby Food. . .