Friday, October 29, 2010

Frown

There's only one network that always has something on worth watching. And that network is DIY.

About a month ago, it mysteriously appeared on our Dish. Hey! I didn't know we got this! We've been enjoying watching House Crashers, Bath Crashers, I Hate My Kitchen, Rehab Addict, etc. It's kind of annoying sometimes because they make everything seem so easy, and they like to install those sinks that are basically a big bowl sitting on top of the vanity, which I don't really like. But it's great viewing. HGTV just isn't the same.

This week, DIY mysteriously disappeared from our subscription, as mysteriously as it appeared. I'm totally bummed. No more channel to fall back on. I guess they were just giving us a free preview and trying to tempt us to upgrade to a pricier package or something. They do the same thing with the Tennis channel - it's available during majors such as Wimbledon or the US Open, but otherwise not.

The Dish giveth, and the Dish taketh away.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I Hate Politicians, or JUST SELECT ONE, DANG IT!!!

So the Denver Post ran this thing in yesterday's paper where they asked the Colorado candidates for governor a list of cutesie questions such as "What was the last book you read?"

Which is just fine and pretty boring until you get down to the bottom where the questions are not open-ended but specified as "Select one."

The first one was (select one) Sandra Bullock or Angelina Jolie?

Dan Maes and Tom Tancredo both said Sandra. But John Hickenlooper took the high road and said Helen Thorpe (his wife).

Another question was (select one) Leno, Letterman, or Oprah?

Maes picked Leno, Hick picked Oprah, and Tancredo said "None of the above." Not that hard Tommy Boy - they're just TV shows.

Then it was (select one) Paris or Vegas?

Maes said Paris. Tancredo, the smart aleck, said "Paris Hotel in Las Vegas", and Hick said Durango. What an idiot.

Finally, it was (select one) American Idol or CSI?

Maes said CSI. Tancredo said "Neither." Apparently he's not much of a TV watcher. Hick said, "Flip a coin. Usually a Rockies game." That answer makes even less sense than "Durango."

Sigh. I was considering a vote for Hick since he's going to win anyways. But not after those stupid answers he rolled out in the paper. I think I'll vote for Maes. At least he answered all the questions. That's what I like in a politican.

Oh, and by the way, they did the same think for the senatorial candidates. To the question American Idol or CSI, Michael Bennet answered, "Entourage." Thanks, doofus. Did you write in answers to multiple choice tests in school?

And Ken Buck and Bennet both dodged the Sandra v. Angelina question. Buck said, my wife Perry Buck. And Bennet said, "My wife Susan wouldn't let me choose." Notice that he didn't dodge it by picking his wife. He just blamed it on her that he wasn't going to answer the question.

I can't stand Michael Bennet, so there's no way I would vote for him, even if Ken Buck answered, "Angelina every day of the week and twice on Sunday."

So how can we count on these guys to face the tough issues like Obamacare and taxes when they can't even answer a simple question about which Hollywood actress they like better? I don't think the Post was asking who you wanted to go to bed with, guys. Take a chill pill.

My answers:

Letterman
Vegas
American Idol
Sandra

And if that prevents me from someday being elected to public office, so be it.





"Mayor, who should start at QB for the Broncos, Orton, Tebow, or Quinn?"
"John Elway."

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Congratulations, Texas Rangers

I haven't watched hardly any baseball this year. But I did tune in for some of Game 6 of the ALCS on Friday night, just in time for the fifth inning. That's when the Yankees walked Josh Hamilton with two outs in order to pitch to Vlad Guerrero. Only Vlad Guerrero doubled into the gap to score both runners to put the Rangers up 3-1. And then Nelson Cruz homered to score two more runs, and the Yankees' goose was cooked. The camera shot of Yankee manager Joe Girardi standing in the dugout after the home run made my day. He was probably thinking, "Great, so tonight I will be visited by the ghost of George Steinbrenner."

Normally I would not congratulate the City of Dallas on anything. The Dallas Cowboys might be the only pro sports franchise I find to be more yucky than the Yankees. And I don't care for the Dallas Mavericks either.

But the Rangers - they are okay in my book. Back in the eighties, my aunt and uncle would take us to Rangers games whenever we would visit them in Dallas. They were an average team back then and I still remember many of their players - Pete O'Brien, Scott Fletcher, Steve Buechele, Oddibe McDowell, Pete Incaviglia, and Charlie Hough. So the Rangers always had "second-favorite team" status for me (after the Reds) and I became sort of a Nolan Ryan fan in later years when he showed up and started throwing no-hitters in his forties. My aunt would sometimes send me Nolan Ryan clippings from the Dallas papers.

So I felt like I could share a little bit of the Texas joy the other night as they celebrated the first World Series appearance in nearly 50 years of franchise history. I wonder if the old Texas Rangers hat I got at Cap Night in 1986 is still floating around somewhere back home. . .

Friday, October 15, 2010

Top 10 TV Dads

I've wanted to count down the best TV dads for some time now. It's hard to do since some of the shows I haven't seen in years. So how can I properly assess their fatherhood skills? The answer is that I can't, so I'm kind of shooting from the hip.

This will only include shows that I've actually watched, so Howard Cunningham, Andy Taylor, and Charles Ingalls are off the table.

10. Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver) - The standard package.
9. Dan Conner (Roseanne) - You'll see Homer Simpson on best TV dad lists, but not Roseanne's husband? You usually don't get the middle-america dads on TV, so he's kind of a rare bird.
8. Danny Tanner (Full House) - Single father, kept a tidy house while raising three girls. He did need reinforcements from Jesse and Joey in order to pull it off, so does he get penalized a bit?
7. Tony Micelli (Who's the Boss?) - I think Tony slips into the top 10. Another single dad, putting his ego aside to work as a housekeeper for a woman.
6. Mike Brady (The Brady Bunch) - He has to be on this list, representing TV dads of the Seventies. He gets a lot of credit for meshing this blended family together. But it kind of bugged me that he had that huge den downstairs while the kids were crammed three to a room upstairs.
5. Philip Drummond (Different Strokes) - I started him out at #9 and keep moving him up. You never see him get props in the 'best dad' race. But an older, single, rich father adopts a couple of black kids and moves them into his penthouse with his hottie teenage daughter and keeps it all together? My hat is off to you, Mr. Drummond.
4. Sandy Cohen (The OC) - He doesn't like living in Orange County, he has to live in a house owned by his wife's family, his father-in-law doesn't like him, and his wife - well, she's not exactly June Cleaver. And Sandy decided that not only was he going to deal with all the drama, but he would also take in a troubled teenager and raise him like a son.
3. Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show) - I think it's illegal to have a best dad list that doesn't include the venerable Dr. Huxtable. One of my enduring memories was when he humorously lectured Theo about standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open.
2. Keith Mars (Veronica Mars) - This list is filled with single dads. In his case, his wife flaked out after he lost his job as sheriff and left him to raise their teenage daughter. Performed the ultimate parental sacrifice when he risked his life to venture into a blazing fire to rescue Veronica.
1. Jason Seaver (Growing Pains) - A stay-at-home dad who also ran a psychiactric practice out of the home. He saw troublemaking Mike and intellectually gifted Carol through to adulthood. He had to take a backseat to his wife when she took a job doing TV news and became Maggie Malone. Plus, I believe he is the only one on this list who fathered a new child during the show's run. Jason handled all this with great aplomb.




"Gee, dad, I thought you'd do better than number 10!"

My Top Five

I like to rank things, but I'm not very good at it. In an ideal world, I would count down things post-by-post, giving you my explanation for each ranking. It's a bit ambitious, considering that hardly anyone reads this blog. So I don't do it - as evidenced by the fact that I never finished ranking my personal top songs of the Nineties. Part of the reason was that I was having trouble coming up with the right songs for 6 thru 9, and then I realized that Nineties music wasn't half as good as Eighties music. Anyways, this is my top five of the Nineties. If I ever get 6 thru 9 figured out, I'll let you know.

5. Gonna Make You Sweat - C+C Music Factory
4. Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
3. Ironic - Alanis Morrisette
2. Everything I Do (I Do it For You) - Bryan Adams
1. U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer