Z List: Favorite Fruits

I recently learned that there is a difference between "botanical fruits" and "culinary fruits". The only fruits getting consideration are "culinary" so we don't need to get into a discussion about whether or not tomatoes are a fruit. Can we be done with that, by the way? Tomatoes, although wonderful, are a vegetable.

Ten. Pear. When I started thinking about this list, I expected pears to come out much higher. Now don't get me wrong: I love a nice, juicy pear that you have to eat over a sink. But what else do you do with a pear? You don't eat it on cereal or with ice cream. There's no market for pear juice. And it's going to lose 9 out of 10 times head to head against an apple or a peach.

Nine. Orange. You can't have a list without the orange, partially due to orange juice, the queen of all fruit juices. I do love a good orange, but it's hard to rank it higher because it's so hard to find a good one. Most end up being too bland or pulpy so I usually don't bother. If I could eat a good orange every day they would probably be much higher. But until I move to citrus country. . .

Eight. Banana. They are very portable and widely available, but one day they are too green and the next too brown, because you missed the 12-hour window of perfectness. Bananas are at their best as part of something else: banana bread, banana split, banana cream pie, banana in your cereal or your fruit salad. And have you ever heard anyone say, wow, that was the best banana I ever had? Nope. They're all about the same. Maybe it's different if you live close to the Equator.

Seven. Pineapple. A really good pineapple is quite the treat. The only problem is the amount of cutting you need to do and the fact that your mouth hurts if you eat too much. Some cursory research told me that it's because pineapple contains bromelain, an protein-digesting enzyme. So the bromelain actually digests the soft skin inside your mouth. Solution? Grill it, which neutralizes the bromelain and is another great way to enjoy pineapple.

Six. Strawberry. Like the banana, strawberries seem to be best as a complement. Strawberry shortcake. Strawberry milkshake. Strawberry jam. Chocolate-covered strawberries. Special K with red berries. But does anyone sit down to eat a bowl of strawberries? Not really. One or two and I've usually had enough.

Five. Cantaloupe. My favorite of the melons. More flavor than the honeydew and easier to deal with than the watermelon. Great texture, taste, and color. Scooping out the seeds in the middle is very satisfying. Plus I like the ridgy rind, which makes it easy to hold in one hand like a mini-basketball. Although the surface of a cantaloupe is apparently a known carrier of salmonella and other bacteria. So...wash before you cut I guess.

Four. Cherry. Even with the seed, it's like 10x better than its bite-size rival, the grape. The seed is not a huge problem for me. Just eat it and spit out the seed when you're done. I don't know if I'll ever make a favorite ice cream list, but if I did, the black cherry variety would come out on top. Plus, what is always the best flavor of any medicine? It's cherry.

Three. Apples. I never expected apples to come out so high, partially due to all the bad ones I've eaten outside of apple season. But the apple is possibly the most versatile of all fruits. Apple pie. Apple juice. Apple cider. Applesauce. Carmel apple. Apple crisp. Candy apple. Apple butter. Apple fritter. Put it on your fruit salad, in your pancakes, or serve it with peanut butter. I sound like the shrimp guy on Forest Gump.

Two. Blueberry. I've really been on a blueberry thing lately. I have a bowl of blueberries with vanilla yogurt and granola and it is super good. An even better breakfast though, is the blueberry pancake. I love how it breaks open and spreads its warm berry goodness. Same effect with the blueberry muffin. Also I prefer the Oregon Blueberry shake at Good Times. I have nothing negative to say about the blueberry. It's what all berries should aspire to be.

One. Peach. If you put the best version of every one of these fruits out on a table, I'm grabbing the peach. That's the test. Also, peach cobbler > apple crisp and peaches 'n cream > strawberries 'n cream. I realize it's much easier to acquire fresh peaches in Colorado than some of the other fruits on the list, so I'm probably a little biased in that respect, but until the citrus growers association ships me a crate of fresh oranges FedEx in an attempt to change my mind, I'll just sit and eat my peaches.

Adventures in Teaching Primary

At church, I teach a primary class of kids 7 and 8 years old. Sometimes things go as planned, but often they don't. Last Sunday, I was teaching them about shepherds and sheep - as in Jesus is the Good Shepherd, and how he said that a good shepherd would leave the ninety and nine and go after the one that was lost. The manual offered a rendering of a sheep, and suggested making one for each member of the class and to write their name on it, both for those that come regularly and those that do not, to illustrate the concept of each of us being one of Jesus' fold.

First of all, check out this sheep. If you fell asleep while counting sheep and then woke up in the middle of the night and found this staring at you, would you be going back to sleep that night?

I think not.

I finished my prepared material a little early and I kind of had in my back pocket one of the suggested enrichment activities where the children could write a note to the absent class members telling them that they were missed at primary. And since I had a little sheep of paper with each person's name, I figured it would be easy enough to just use that to write the note on.

I second-guessed myself almost immediately, because is that rude, to deliver a note to someone with a sheep on it, implying that they have gone astray because they missed one Sunday?

But the activity was already underway. At least I know that I explained it well enough that one of my kids "got it":

Some kids didn't quite have the right tone:

And then there was this one:

So yeah, I decided not to deliver these. But they provided some good entertainment. 

Z List: Favorite Breakfast Cereals

Ten. Cocoa Puffs. Am I cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs? Not exactly, or else it would be number one, but probably the quintessential "sugar" cereal. Often referenced in the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip as "Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs" and that pretty much sums it up. Just crunchy, sugary balls, and in the end you have chocolate milk. Brilliant.

Nine. Frosted Flakes. I mean, Corn Flakes are okay. And nothing more than okay. But coat them in sugar, and they are. . . well, grrrrrrreat! And try to think of another cereal mascot who could defeat Tony the Tiger. You can't, because there isn't one. Imagine what he would do to the Trix Rabbit. I can still remember the jingle from my childhood: The taste of Kellogg's Frosted Flaaaaakes....brings out the tiger in you!

Eight. Fruity Pebbles. I'm taking these over other "fruity" cereals such as Fruit Loops or Trix because of their light, airy goodness. And so pleasing to the eye with the rainbow of colors. I mean, something that flaky and fruity can't be bad for you, right? Gobble up heaping spoonfuls of the pebbles and you're ready for the next bowl, because there is no way you are going to be able to fish out every stray flake until all the milk is gone. . .

Seven. Cheerios. Lest you think I'm some sort of sugar addict (which I am, but I don't want you to think it, that's all), I'm putting classic Cheerios on here for their versatility. And because at some point the Honey Nut version became nasty. Anyways, start with the simple, flavorless o's and add bananas or blueberries or whatever you want. I always add sugar. I'm sure it's still figures out to be less than the sugar content in other cereals. Right?

Six. Apple Jacks. No dang bee or leprechaun or toucan needed to sell these. You know why? It's that good of a sugar cereal. It's like a classier version of Fruit Loops. For people with a discerning taste.

Five. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Most of the cereals on this list date back to before I was born. But I can remember when the notorious CTC burst onto the breakfast scene in the mid-80's with the cinnamon toast crunch bakers and their cinnamon toast crunch shakers. And while many cereals have come and gone since then, these little square delights sprinkled with cinnamon sugar have become a General Mills juggernaut.

Four. Corn Chex. Like their General Mills brethren, Cheerios, these score extra points for their adaptability. We all know the endless variations of the Chex Mix, whether you make it on your own or buy it prepackaged. They are also the key ingredient to the famed "muddy buddies" snack. But they couldn't be on this list if they weren't also good in a bowl with milk (and of course, a sprinkling of sugar), and they ace that test.

Three. Special K with Red Berries. A lot of cereals delved into the freeze-dried berry arena during the era these hit the supermarket shelves. But no one did it quite as well. The Special K flakes were just the right amount of crunch to complement the tasty strawberry chunks, with nothing else added to detract from the combination. I don't need any almond slivers or granola clusters. Just flakes and berries. Flakes and berries. The only complaint I ever had was that the berries weren't well distributed throughout the box so by the time you got to the bottom it was mostly flakes.

Two. Frosted Mini Wheats. Pour some milk over these and give it a few minutes to penetrate these sugary biscuits, and you have a delightful treat. It's the polar opposite of Fruity Pebbles, as you can savor each and every one individually. And even though they are covered in sugar, you still walk away without too much guilt because it has wheat right in the name.

One. Quaker Oatmeal Squares. Is it cereal perfection? Maybe. Just the right amount of sweetness added. . . not as bland as the Cheerio but not as loaded with sugar as the Cocoa Puff. Can be eaten with or without milk. The right amount of crunch, even with milk.  A box is a little more expensive than some of the others on the list, and there are no generic or bagged versions, so they feel a little more special. And of course, the healthiness implied in the name leaves you feeling like you've just saved a life. Yours.