Saturday, July 21, 2018

Z List: Favorite Breakfast Cereals

Ten. Cocoa Puffs. Am I cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs? Not exactly, or else it would be number one, but probably the quintessential "sugar" cereal. Often referenced in the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip as "Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs" and that pretty much sums it up. Just crunchy, sugary balls, and in the end you have chocolate milk. Brilliant.

Nine. Frosted Flakes. I mean, Corn Flakes are okay. And nothing more than okay. But coat them in sugar, and they are. . . well, grrrrrrreat! And try to think of another cereal mascot who could defeat Tony the Tiger. You can't, because there isn't one. Imagine what he would do to the Trix Rabbit. I can still remember the jingle from my childhood: The taste of Kellogg's Frosted Flaaaaakes....brings out the tiger in you!

Eight. Fruity Pebbles. I'm taking these over other "fruity" cereals such as Fruit Loops or Trix because of their light, airy goodness. And so pleasing to the eye with the rainbow of colors. I mean, something that flaky and fruity can't be bad for you, right? Gobble up heaping spoonfuls of the pebbles and you're ready for the next bowl, because there is no way you are going to be able to fish out every stray flake until all the milk is gone. . .

Seven. Cheerios. Lest you think I'm some sort of sugar addict (which I am, but I don't want you to think it, that's all), I'm putting classic Cheerios on here for their versatility. And because at some point the Honey Nut version became nasty. Anyways, start with the simple, flavorless o's and add bananas or blueberries or whatever you want. I always add sugar. I'm sure it's still figures out to be less than the sugar content in other cereals. Right?

Six. Apple Jacks. No dang bee or leprechaun or toucan needed to sell these. You know why? It's that good of a sugar cereal. It's like a classier version of Fruit Loops. For people with a discerning taste.

Five. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Most of the cereals on this list date back to before I was born. But I can remember when the notorious CTC burst onto the breakfast scene in the mid-80's with the cinnamon toast crunch bakers and their cinnamon toast crunch shakers. And while many cereals have come and gone since then, these little square delights sprinkled with cinnamon sugar have become a General Mills juggernaut.

Four. Corn Chex. Like their General Mills brethren, Cheerios, these score extra points for their adaptability. We all know the endless variations of the Chex Mix, whether you make it on your own or buy it prepackaged. They are also the key ingredient to the famed "muddy buddies" snack. But they couldn't be on this list if they weren't also good in a bowl with milk (and of course, a sprinkling of sugar), and they ace that test.

Three. Special K with Red Berries. A lot of cereals delved into the freeze-dried berry arena during the era these hit the supermarket shelves. But no one did it quite as well. The Special K flakes were just the right amount of crunch to complement the tasty strawberry chunks, with nothing else added to detract from the combination. I don't need any almond slivers or granola clusters. Just flakes and berries. Flakes and berries. The only complaint I ever had was that the berries weren't well distributed throughout the box so by the time you got to the bottom it was mostly flakes.

Two. Frosted Mini Wheats. Pour some milk over these and give it a few minutes to penetrate these sugary biscuits, and you have a delightful treat. It's the polar opposite of Fruity Pebbles, as you can savor each and every one individually. And even though they are covered in sugar, you still walk away without too much guilt because it has wheat right in the name.

One. Quaker Oatmeal Squares. Is it cereal perfection? Maybe. Just the right amount of sweetness added. . . not as bland as the Cheerio but not as loaded with sugar as the Cocoa Puff. Can be eaten with or without milk. The right amount of crunch, even with milk.  A box is a little more expensive than some of the others on the list, and there are no generic or bagged versions, so they feel a little more special. And of course, the healthiness implied in the name leaves you feeling like you've just saved a life. Yours.

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