The Lion, the Witch, and the Obama

I recently was gone on a Pioneer Trek for four days. It was kind of nice to be shut off from the world for a brief period of time. No newspapers, no internet, no cell phones, no podcasts, no TV, no radio.

I was a bit curious if anything big had happened newswise. Well, I guess not! Because pretty much what everything was talking about when we returned was the whole story with Cambridge, Massachusetts police sgt. James Crowley (the Lion) and Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. (the Witch).

If you haven't heard what happened, I ask if you have been living on a space satellite. I don't know if I've read a full news account of this story, but as far as I know, the Witch broke into his own house. Some lady called the cops. The Lion shows up and tells the Witch that he's gonna need to see some ID. The Witch has some contentious words for the Lion. The Lion arrests the Witch.

If you can believe this, the Lion and the Witch are of different races. Here. In America. In 2009! Who woulda thunk it! What has the world come to!

And anytime people of different races have a disagreement, there is only one possible explanation. One, or the other, or both, is racist. There is just simply no other conceivable reason that two people of different races would not see eye to eye. Even the lady who called the cops is a racist. Which she probably is. I mean, whenever I see white people breaking into houses, I just let it go.

That brings us to the Obama. As if he wasn't busy enough seizing private companies or nationalizing health care, he felt the need to get involved in local law enforcement by saying that the police had "acted stupidly." But I guess he felt obligated since he is a black man who went to Harvard. I'm sure that if Mitt Romney were president, he totally would have the back of any BYU professor who was arrested by a Latino cop in Provo.

Which, shockingly, didn't go over really well. Could it be that the Obama, he of the golden tongue, spoke out of turn?

So the Obama decides to smooth things over by having the Lion and the Witch down to D.C. for a tour of his pad and a few brews. And so, the "Beer Summit" was born. I'm not sure what the point of this activity was or why everyone was so excited about it. I mean, in the Denver Post, on the day of the summit, they had a full-color front page spread detailing the exact brand of beer that each man was going to drink at the White House. That seemed to be a little much.

Anyways, I'm not sure if I accomplished anything in my retelling of the classic tale of The Lion, the Witch, and the Obama. But it felt good to get it out. And it feels good knowing that should I have any trouble with local police that perhaps the Obama would talk some junk on my behalf and then fly me out to socialize with the officer who accosted me.